Do many affair partners encourage the married person to stay married?

[BrownHairedGuy]

.....remember most WS's that are in ongoing going affairs, affair-down. Their AP is usually not as good a mate as their BS.

 

In affairs where the AP is clearly a bigger, better deal and will have the WS, the WS's often leave, leave quickly and don't look back.

 

out of the grand total of affairs that take place, that actually happens very rarely.

 

LOL, good to know that I was a part of such a rare circumstance in the affair world when my wife left me for a doctor!

Edited June 22, 2016 by BrownHairedGuy

[Justanaverageguy]

.....remember most WS's that are in ongoing going affairs, affair-down. Their AP is usually not as good a mate as their BS.

 

In affairs where the AP is clearly a bigger, better deal and will have the WS, the WS's often leave, leave quickly and don't look back.

 

 

Yeah from my observations this seems to true. Because lets face it usually quality male\females aren't trawling married men or women. They have options and they can get casual sex or a relationship with a single person so AP's generally though not always tend to be a step down. They tend to fit into a specific category of being either a bit desperate and so willing to ignore their morals, having no morals and actually getting off on the fact it is an affair or just being someone who is completely emotionally unavailable and looking for sex and nothing else. What seems to be important with affairs is not better or worse .... its simply different. People want variety and want some "strange".

 

I have noticed a weird phenomenon with middle aged women who cheat however where they have a tendancy to get caught up in the infatuation stage and think they have fallen in love with the AP even though the AP is a big step down from their husband. Seems to be that these emotions have been dormant for so long when they come up they have a powerful effect and the woman go a bit crazy. They leave their husband and run off with some weirdo for a few months before coming to their senses. The husband friends and family may or may not be aware depending on how well she conseals it.

 

The ladder jumping to a better partner actually tends to be the exception rather then the rule with women.

Edited June 24, 2016 by Justanaverageguy

[oldshirt]

LOL, good to know that I was a part of such a rare circumstance in the affair world when my wife left me for a doctor!

 

Compared to the backdrop of all of the adulterous events that occur out there, the percentage of someone actually leaving their spouse and taking up full time with their AP is quite low.

 

 

It obviously does occur though.

[oldshirt]

 

I have noticed a weird phenomenon with middle aged women who cheat however where they have a tendancy to get caught up in the infatuation stage and think they have fallen in love with the AP even though the AP is a big step down from their husband. Seems to be that these emotions have been dormant for so long when they come up they have a powerful effect and the woman go a bit crazy. They leave their husband and run off with some weirdo for a few months before coming to their senses. The husband friends and family may or may not be aware depending on how well she conseals it.

 

The ladder jumping to a better partner actually tends to be the exception rather then the rule with women.

 

 

I don't know if women have a monopoly on getting infatuated and think that they have fallen in love and doing something dumb.

 

 

But I do think that women are more likely to think that they have met their true love when they get flooded with horny hormones and are more likely to rewrite history and think that they never really loved their BH and are more likely to pack up and leave BH, even if just temporarily (often until their AP pumps and dumps them)

 

 

Where as I think MM are more likely to continue being involved with 2 or more women until one of the women goes hard core and either presses him into chooses or takes her own self out of the equation.

 

 

 

 

This is just my own hypothesis based on my own observations and experiences, but I think women are more likely to leave a spouse for an AP, where as men are more likely to try to continue to remain involved with both BW and AP indefinitely.

[RecentChange]

As an "outlier" all of this is. ... hum, interesting to read. My personal experiences are so very different, but LS tells me they were not the norm.

 

I certainly didn't trade down, hot, successful, but not looking for a girlfriend, they were looking for some NSA, so was I. So suddenly the guy with the doctorate who competed in iron man triathlons was available. While a "catch" I understand the difference between lust and love. Never for a moment considered attempting to "trade up".

 

Sexual compatibility does not mean emotional compatibility, I am smart enough to know that.

 

But time and time again I have been told that I operate"like the man" when it comes to emotional connection, sex etc.

 

Honestly all affairs are a mess, but I can't wrap my head around these emotional ones - bumping uglies is one thing, these charades of the heart are another.

[heartwhole]

As an "outlier" all of this is. ... hum, interesting to read. My personal experiences are so very different, but LS tells me they were not the norm.

 

I certainly didn't trade down, hot, successful, but not looking for a girlfriend, they were looking for some NSA, so was I. So suddenly the guy with the doctorate who competed in iron man triathlons was available. While a "catch" I understand the difference between lust and love. Never for a moment considered attempting to "trade up".

 

Sexual compatibility does not mean emotional compatibility, I am smart enough to know that.

 

But time and time again I have been told that I operate"like the man" when it comes to emotional connection, sex etc.

 

Honestly all affairs are a mess, but I can't wrap my head around these emotional ones - bumping uglies is one thing, these charades of the heart are another.

 

If he has a PhD, he probably has a lot of student loan debt, and I know a lot of PhDs who make pitiful salaries. And if he trains for iron mans, he spends a lot of time on himself. So while he may have a good brain and a good body, it doesn't mean he'll provide a good life to a woman looking for a sugar daddy.

[oldshirt]

If he has a PhD, he probably has a lot of student loan debt, and I know a lot of PhDs who make pitiful salaries. And if he trains for iron mans, he spends a lot of time on himself. So while he may have a good brain and a good body, it doesn't mean he'll provide a good life to a woman looking for a sugar daddy.

 

which made him a good squeeze for Recent Change as she was looking for some sweat'n action and not a sugar daddy to provide her a good life.

 

She already had a husband at home. All she was needing was some fun, excitement, abz, schlong with some strange. Other needs were being met at home.

 

This is what I have been saying in a lot of my posts, affairs need a marriage and need a supportive BS to survive. Take that security, stability, lifestyle and support away, and suddenly the AP doesn't look so good and suddenly the WS is no longer care-free, NSA fun for the AP and the AP often fades away like morning fog in the sunlight.