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If a friend wanted to hang out with you and you didn't, what would you say?


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So this friend that I have wants to hang out with me, for certain reasons I don't want to hang out with her anymore, her bigot ways, her bossy side, plus she doesn't have a car/doesn't drive because she's disabled-most likely I would have to drive her around if we were to go somewhere. She asked to hang out again, so instead of coming up demeaning and noticeable that I didn't want to hang with her, I simply said that I'm busy with work and that I'll let her know when. Is that a good enough excuse?

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So this friend that I have wants to hang out with me, for certain reasons I don't want to hang out with her anymore, her bigot ways, her bossy side, plus she doesn't have a car/doesn't drive because she's disabled-most likely I would have to drive her around if we were to go somewhere. She asked to hang out again, so instead of coming up demeaning and noticeable that I didn't want to hang with her, I simply said that I'm busy with work and that I'll let her know when. Is that a good enough excuse?

 

I'd probably do much the same in your shoes.

 

Only get honest if she gets pushy.

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Yes. Just keep saying you're busy every time she calls and sooner or later she'll stop calling.

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I had a baseball team mate who would unload her day's problem whenever I picked her up for a game. When the season was over, I quit answering her call. Never heard from her again. Nice/good person. We were not close. But just that whole bringing me down, when I'm trying to relax unwind, was killing me.

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Just saying "I'm busy" and cutting the conversation short, she should get the hint. If not, block her.

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Should I block her emails and delete her from Facebook? Or would that be too obviously?

 

Yes!, block

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I don't think she's a friend; she's just someone you know.

 

You don't owe her anything.

 

As stated above, just tell her you're busy.

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She's actually a old junior high friend that I've known for 20 years. We were good friends at a point. We reconnected on Facebook a few years ago and since then we have been messaging and keeping in touch. Only like once or twice a year I come over to her house to watch movies, she can't do much, because she's disabled and has health problems. Until recently she suggested that we go out and do stuff, she advised me that she doesn't have a car and can't drive. So, since I felt bad for her I figured we'll go somewhere. Well, I got pissed because she said something bigoted knowing that I'm part of that ethnic group. Now she suggested to go out like once a month. I sure as hell ain't going to be driving her around town just because she doesn't go anywhere. She has a husband.

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It doesn't sound like you currently qualify as being friends.

 

Maybe you were once, but I don't see it in the present.

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I don't want her to use me just so she can get free rides out of me to events that she wants to go to.

 

I thought this was more about you not liking her as a person.

 

I've got a couple of friends who can't drive for one reason or another, but because I LIKE them, I'm happy to drive them. But if I didn't like them, I just wouldn't see them.

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