neuma1bm2 Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 (edited) Me: 32 (33 in august) Her: 26 Met at my coworkers housewarming party in August 2014.Casually dated until Feb 2015. In Feb 2015 she slept with another guy and told me about it. I was talking to other women and basically acting singleuntil Feb 2015. I slept with another girl who my GF is very jealous over aroundthe same time. Only I didn't tell her about it. I continued to **** up until May/June 2015. Around then, I fully committed to her. The entire time I made her feel bad about her past sexualrelationships. I would also have outbursts where I'd say very mean things toher (make her feel like guys used her, slut, etc. Terrible things) Asked way too many detailed questions. Accused her of lying.Acted like I had told her everything I'd done. This lasted up through November 2015. Then she found outabout the other girl I slept with. Nearly broke it off. Convinced her to stay with me. Told herI'd stop asking questions about her past. Of course I couldn't stop asking her questions, calling hera liar, and saying mean things. She was lying about a lot of things, but honestly, it wasnothing I ever should have worried about. During this time, she moved in in January 2016. Early 2016 she is fed up and applies for jobs out of state. Gets one and nearly takes the offer, but she ends up stayingwith me. I promise to bring up no more guys and be nice. I made this promise many times, and although I madeimprovements in all these areas - I still failed each time. I continue to make her feel bad for lying. She finds out I've seen a happy ending massage. She comes to a wedding in my hometown and we try to make it work. Get back home and go to a party. She's still angry, really angry about everything. We have a blowup and I say a bunch of mean stuff to her. She stays on her friends couch. She feels like its unfair since she hasn't dug around in my past. Starts digging. She's smart. Finds out worse stuff about me,I solicited a prost., all the while making her feel bad about things shes donethat don't even compare. She seems done. But she still talks to me. She might only betalking to me cause shes so nice though. Plans on moving out Saturday. I knew I was a pieceof **** before writing this. Reading it now, I'm worthless and deserve to be dumped. This girl is amazing. Sweet, self-less, not slutty, would begreat mom, great significant other, great sex life, great everything. She's the best girl I've ever dated. I know what I need to do to change. I think she couldforgive me. The stuff that I paid for was before me and her were together.Another detail, she didn't trust me at all and always looked at my texts and got mad about them. I tried to show her she could trust me. I tried reallyhard. And I didn't cheat on her. Do I have any chance? How can I fix this? I would do anything to not lose this girl. Edited June 16, 2016 by neuma1bm2 unreadable 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Personally, based on what you wrote and how you treated her, I wouldn't expect her to return to her. Learn the lesson to treat your future relationships better than you have treated her. I certainly wouldn't want you back... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kztar Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Personally, based on what you wrote and how you treated her, I wouldn't expect her to return to her. Learn the lesson to treat your future relationships better than you have treated her. I certainly wouldn't want you back... I agree 100% with CarrieT. Learn your lesson and treat women better next time. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author neuma1bm2 Posted June 16, 2016 Author Share Posted June 16, 2016 Thanks for the responses. When we weren't fighting the relationship was great. She would agree. Other than the instances I mentioned I was a considerate boyfriend. I did a lot of sweet things for her. I was there for her. I tried to put her above myself. If I could have stopped questioning her and not blown up it could have been a great relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Thanks for the responses. When we weren't fighting the relationship was great. She would agree. Other than the instances I mentioned I was a considerate boyfriend. I did a lot of sweet things for her. I was there for her. I tried to put her above myself. If I could have stopped questioning her and not blown up it could have been a great relationship. The problem is that the good doesn't balance out the bed. I very much doubt that she will want you back. The best thing would be for you to spend a fairly long period of time as a single person, while you get yourself mended in therapy. Failing that, you'll probably just have another failed relationship like this one. Put your energy into getting some healing and move forward from there. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted June 17, 2016 Share Posted June 17, 2016 When we weren't fighting the relationship was great. She would agree. When the tires werent flat and we weren't constantly stuck in a ditch, the road trip was great. The times we didn't get food poisoning, the restaurant was great... Your post and relationship reads awfully poorly to an outsider. There wasn't much respect and consideration in the open dating phase to suggest you two really took being monogamous seriously. The control and angry jealousy? Can't change that overnight. Work on healthy boundaries and relationships outside of dating as suggested for awhile. I 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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