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I "broke up" with him, were friends but getting mixed signals?


aTadConfused

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aTadConfused

So in the last year and a half, I was seeing an incredible man. Right off the bat we had this strong incredible connection. He's much older than me. But that never was a factor. Sometimes I would think of him, the next minute I would get a text from him. I can't put into words the kind of relationship we had. We talked about getting married constantly, he wanted to married like the next day. And a baby shortly after. After a year, the relationship wasn't working for me. Things cooled down, and I broke things off. He wanted to remain friends, which has never worked for me. The other person usually gets jealous when I start to move on. Things get weird. No different with him. I still have a lot of respect and platonic love for him.

 

Lately, he's been asking about whether the new person im seeing and I have made plans for the future. He's told me that all of the sweet and romantic things he's said to me in the past, he meant. And he wishes he did somethings differently. And that I'll always have a place in his heart.

 

I'm over all very confused with him. And I don't know what to do. I've never posted anything like this before. But I don't have anyone that could relate to this situation. We had big plans. And he was the driving force behind them. He still means a lot to me.

 

Any advice or input would be greatly valued and appreciated (:

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You broke up with him, he wanted to remain friends, but obviously he wants more. What is there that you don't understand exactly?

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aTadConfused

I feel awful, if he's still hoping for another chance. There's something he wants, that I'm not sure if I'd ever be ready for. When he says these kind things, like he wishes he did somethings differently etc. It makes me feel sort of bad. I'm just really not sure how to take all of it or what I should do about it.

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Talk to him like you're talking to us. Tell him how this is upsetting you and make it clear how you feel. Then cut all contact. He's putting pressure on you and that's no way to secure a loving relationship. You didn't cheat on him, you just no longer felt the same way. He needs to let this one go.

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What exactly are you confused about?

 

You ended it,

He still loves/wants you

He's telling you he has changed and wants to try again

 

I don't see any mixed signals, if your certain you made the right choice and don't want him back then tell him this and go NC so he can heal.

 

Friends doesn't work if one of you/both are still in love.

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aTadConfused

I appreciate all your advice. I thought I was reading too far into it and getting something from this, that may have not been there. Like I interpreted it wrong. Because starting out as friends he was always sweet, thoughtful and sincere. And I didn't want to misinterpret his kindness for something else. But thank-you very much for all of your suggestions. (:

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He loves you and it seems like you still love him too. If that is the case, give him a chance and take it slow. Most good relationships come from people who were friends first.

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