A long term booty call told me he loves me how do I tell him I feel the same?

[Thenell88]

For my riends bachelorette party 4 years ago we went to Vegas (im in LA) while out there we met a tattoo shop owner and he took us around he is a little older then me (I was 24 him 39) after a really great time (no sex) I got his number. We have been in constant contact now for the last 4 years. Soon he came to my town and invited me to see him. I took him up on the offer and we spent all night having amazing sex (7 times or so). So we have been meeting about every 3-6 months for a night or more of fun. recently he told me how bad his day was going so I sent a cute voice message telling him to smile and he texted back "you make me smile, hahah.. I think I might love you" I thought it was a joke because he is a funny guy so I texted back "haha just thought you would like to hear my voice". He took awhile to respond and all he said was "yea whatever.." And I told him I thought it was a joke. After not hearing from him for an hr or so texted back "that wasn t a joke was it?" And he replied with a simple "No" I feel bad, having him to talk to often has been wonderful. He seems hurt and has told me he really wants to spend some time with me soon how do I keep our relationship the way it is without hurting his feelings? I feel horrible that he put it out there and I just took something that big as a joke. Should I bring it up when we see each other? Should I ask him if he still feels that way? I really want to know if he does love me.

[Emilia]

Meeting up occasionally doesn't seem to mean much, he could have just felt lonely. Suggest a proper date. Go out for dinner and don't have sex afterwards. See how the two of you feel. This is what I do when I think there might be more.

[Alamo657]

Should I bring it up when we see each other? Should I ask him if he still feels that way? I really want to know if he does love me.

 

You never know if someone loves you until you've been trough a hard time and that person stuck with you and supported you. Before that, it's infatuation, affection and hormones.

 

What i mean is that the way you've been seeing each other is not a good basis to judge a romantical relationship, because it's not a relationship, it's a LDR one, and those usually do not work.

[dichotomy]

If you picture yourself in your dream life situation - say in 6 years at 30 - what do you see ?

[Tayla]

Point blank. You don't tell him , because well, it's simply not true. Stay honest.

He is your "booty" call. That is the only thing true about this quasi hookup.

[StormyEyes]

I'm unclear from your post if you love him or not. From the title it seems like you are, from the text it seems like you are not.

 

Although it happens, I have a hard time believing anyone can fall in love with someone they see 2-4 times a year for a night or 2 of sex. I think you two need to spend more time together doing some every day things, not just going out to dinner/movies etc. See if you two are compatible, then go from there.

 

I am all in favor of FWBs turning in to something more, but while great sex can sustain a relationship through hard times, it is hard to build a relationship on just great sex.