Should I keep sending pic of our son to my ex?

[urmysong]

Hello guys...please help me.

Should I keep sending pics of our son to him? Even if he is not asking me to do so? It's been 3 months now since he broke up with me. He did not email me anymore but me still keep emailing him the pic of our son. I don't write anything about me, just about our son. Like "this latest pic of "J's moving up or this pic from the park he had fun. Just like that. He is in his country and me and our son lives in my country too. I don't know if should I keep doing it, he doesn't even ask how is he. But yes he supports financially every month around 500 dollars a month.

I am just thinking maybe he doesnt want to hear from me. I don't want to open my emails anymore cause it hurts still that he is not writing to me. I am 28 and he is 56 and our son is turning 5. This is my first rel/marriage, i don't know what is right to do.

Thanks a lot guys...any response I will appreciate...

[minimariah]

short answer - YES.

 

WHY? because you need to protect yourself - IF he comes at you... one day, claiming that you didn't respect his rights + kept the information about the child from him on purpose... you'll have strong and undeniable evidence that you did right by him and played your part.

 

stop only if and when he tells you to and make sure to keep EVERYTHING documented; do not delete any messages and pictures you send to him so you'll always able to have receipts. this is about your protection, remember that.

[SammySammy]

Yes, keep sending the pics.

 

Even if it's for no reason other than it's a nice thing to do.

[urmysong]

short answer - YES.

 

WHY? because you need to protect yourself - IF he comes at you... one day, claiming that you didn't respect his rights + kept the information about the child from him on purpose... you'll have strong and undeniable evidence that you did right by him and played your part.

 

stop only if and when he tells you to and make sure to keep EVERYTHING documented; do not delete any messages and pictures you send to him so you'll always able to have receipts. this is about your protection, remember that.

 

 

Minimariah, thank You for Your response. I think You are very right. I keep my sent mails, so I have evidence. Thank You once again.

[urmysong]

Yes, keep sending the pics.

 

Even if it's for no reason other than it's a nice thing to do.

 

MidKnightDreams, thank You very much for response. Now I know that I am doing the right thing.

[Lois_Griffin]

So the 56 year old POS hasn't learned a damned thing in life, even in his senior years.

 

Not surprisingly, Mr. Loser has moved on and is probably hanging out at the local junior college looking for his next conquest. He's only supporting the child because the law makes him. That was quite the shallow end of the gene pool you swam in, unfortunately.

 

I HIGHLY doubt Father of the Year is going to come at you demanding to see his kid and accuse you of 'not respecting his rights as a father." What a joke. He hasn't even BOTHERED to stay in touch with you and doesn't even ASK about his own kid, and you have to worry about HIM demanding parental rights? Yeah, I wouldn't lose any sleep over that one.

 

If this irresponsible assclown can't even be BOTHERED to ask about his own kid, then it's not YOUR job to chase him down, sending him pictures. And it's an utterly ludicrous supposition that you need to continue chasing this guy and sending him pictures because the law would somehow hold YOU responsible for his absentee parenting.

[minimariah]

And it's an utterly ludicrous supposition that you need to continue chasing this guy and sending him pictures because the law would somehow hold YOU responsible for his absentee parenting.

 

if i understood right - they live in different countries. he's financially supporting his child so while he does THAT -- in the eyes of the law, he is NOT an absent parent. also... YES, he absolutely CAN take the OP to the court & accuse her of not giving him updates on the child's well-being. JUST IN CASE - it's better for her to have strong and solid proof that she's supportive of the child's relationship with his father. this DOES happen. no matter what she thinks of him, he IS the child's father and has and will always have parental rights.

 

situations like these are delicate and sensitive and there is no room for anything else but good planning + positivity. forget the foolish pride.

[lovey34]

for be so considerate, you are doing great. I don't see the issue of this unless you are remarried. if you are still single and he is too, I don't see why this would be a problem. my question to you would be, are you doing it out of god faith with nothing in return, or are you expecting anything? If you are doing it out of good faith with no expectations, i think you are doing a very considerate thing. however, if not, I would be cautious.. since you are split up, i don't expect much communication, and pictures and updates are a good way for to keep him in the loop and being apart of the childs life still.. however, if you either of you are seeking another relationship, I wouldnt advise of this .. best of luck..

[almond]

Don't think about him at all - think about you and your son. If it is bothering you in any way to keep sending these photos and have him ignore you, then stop sending them. If it hurts you that he doesn't ask, even when you give him updates - stop sending them.

 

 

His feelings don't matter. If he wants to be involved then he can reach out. Until then, don't worry about his wants or needs at all. Worry about you and your little boy only.

[urmysong]

for be so considerate, you are doing great. I don't see the issue of this unless you are remarried. if you are still single and he is too, I don't see why this would be a problem. my question to you would be, are you doing it out of god faith with nothing in return, or are you expecting anything? If you are doing it out of good faith with no expectations, i think you are doing a very considerate thing. however, if not, I would be cautious.. since you are split up, i don't expect much communication, and pictures and updates are a good way for to keep him in the loop and being apart of the childs life still.. however, if you either of you are seeking another relationship, I wouldnt advise of this .. best of luck..

 

No I don't expect something in return. I am just thinking that he doesn't want to write me or ask me to do it but would be happy to see his son. On the day he broke up with me through emails, he said "please tell my son that I love him very much and always be here for him".

 

So I think it is best to update him with pic even he doesn't ask. Cause I am scared that if something happen to our son like for example get sick, and I will tell him that our son is sick and he will tell me "You don't email me about him, now he is sick You email me."

[urmysong]

I don't know about him anymore, how he is doing or something. He is in his country and no news about him since he broke up with me. I am not writing him anything about me too. Just attach pic of son with writing "happy Father's Day" then send.

I am not seeking another relationship, I am just focusing my time with my son.

[noelle303]

No I don't expect something in return. I am just thinking that he doesn't want to write me or ask me to do it but would be happy to see his son. On the day he broke up with me through emails, he said "please tell my son that I love him very much and always be here for him".

 

So I think it is best to update him with pic even he doesn't ask. Cause I am scared that if something happen to our son like for example get sick, and I will tell him that our son is sick and he will tell me "You don't email me about him, now he is sick You email me."

 

I think that you should, yes. Be the bigger person, do your part, if for anything than for your own clear conscience so that you know and your son knows that you did everything you could to facilitate that relationship.