Boyfriend gets a number from a random girl at work

[lizinator]

So.. today my boyfriend informed me that, and I quote.. "Some rly cute chick nervously gave me her number."

 

Me: Rip it in half, what did you say anyways?

him: I just kinda smirked, and said have a good day. Why?

Me:...

Me: Are you gunna throw the number away?

Him: I'm still thinking of what to do

Me: Dont think about it. Easy thing to do unless you wanna have issues. You know I dont like competition... Neither do you so throw it away.

Him: Mmhm and you still talk to plenty of guys

Me: What guys? cole? Who likes sofia. Big difference with someone who you said is good looking and gave you their number.

Him: No... he doesn't.

Me: I dont like that **** dylan seriously! You even said the wrong thing in the first place!

Him: Whats that, huh?

Me: Not saying you have a girlfriend.. Thats what I always do to people who hit on me.

Me:and you just.. Smirked. Throw it away Dylan..

Him: I mean, I would've, but I was kinda surprised

Me: Throw it away.. i'm being serious.

Him: Or what?

Me: We are gunna have some issues, Dylan seriously.. "A cute girl" nervously gave you her number. Dont make me worry everyday that you might start talking, then later flirting.. then Boom! woops an accident. I don't.. want to go through that again..

Me: Please.. Just respect my concern..

Him: Then why don't you respect mine?

Me: I do, Are you gunna somehow use this against me? What are you backing it up. I don't talk to Jordan anymore (he was a good friend of mine) and the only guy I barely talk to is Cole.

Him: Because I think this is a good time for you to think really hard on how much you trust me, and how I felt every time you talked to another guy.

Me: Dylan..

Him: Or called other guys 'cute' or 'hot'

Me: Don't ****ing do that, are you seriously going to make me ****ing worry? To teach me some lesson?

Him: It's not about a lesson

Me: yeah.. It basically is.

Him: You literally always laugh off my concern with other guys, and if you give in, you do it begrudgingly.

Me: Cute! I was concerned why you were letting me talk to Austin (an ex) When I told you he started talking to me. You said it was fine, so I assumed you were ok with me talking with guys tho I was really cautious cuz he was an ex. Then you said you didn't' like it so I stopped.

Him: Austin and other guys are completely different and you know it.

Me: Austin was saving himself for me, I found out. And this girl.. is just competition for me, even if you wont do anything. It's the fact you had the ****ing decncy to not speak up. I ALWAYS turn down ANYONE who like me, because I wanna stay loyal to you. If you know me well you know telling me this will literally **** me up. I have butterflies in my stomach.. I'm getting so.. scared but I'm not..

Him: First off, Austin and this chick who's name I dont even know, are completely different. You love austin. more then me. And yet I still trust you around him for the moment.

Me: Since when did I love Austin? He was just a teddy bear.

Him: Yeah right- you can't bull**** me

Me: Are you serios? You really think I 'loved' him

Him:I see how your face changed when you're thinking of him.

Me: It gets sad yeah, because he treated me like a princess I guess you can say, and sometimes I dont see it from you so the feeling of longing for some attention and just a nice text to make me smile once in a while But I knew he would never be right for me because his future and his past are ****ed up.

Him: Ok, Liz.

Me: I even told him to never say it to me.

(he then texted me he had to go back to work)

 

alright.. so While trying to answer all the questions in my head what i'm not sure about is why he's backing up not throwing away this girls number who, the only relationship they have with each other is.. she saw him at panera thought he was good looking and gave him her phone number. he doesn't even know her name.. and yet, he isn't respecting my concern. It's not me trusting him, it's the fact of I don't trust her(nor have I seen her or know her!). I don't even see why he should hold onto a phone number of someone who could be a potential dating partner. With Dylan (boyfriend) bringing up my friends that are dudes.. the only REALY difference is that I've known the guys (jordan and cole) as friends first and even when they would compliment me I would tell them to not, becuase I'm dating someone and they wouldn't like it. So.. why would he bring it up when the big difference is I know them as friends and he barely knows this chick he saw while working.. Also Austin was a dude I dated when i broke up with Dylan the first time (for putting me before his games making me feel like i'm nothing half the time)

 

One thing That I am glad he did.. was actually tell me someone gave their number to him.. I know must guys don't do that, but knowing how i'd react he should of just.. threw the paper away.

[VeveCakes]

How old are you both?

 

Both acting innapropriately with the opposite sex. Stop talking to your exs and other guys and maybe he will start telling people he has a gf.

[lizinator]

I am 16 and he just turned 18.

 

I stopped talking to my ex When we got together again. I told Dylan that he started talking to me immediatly and I said, would you like me to stop talking to him? I will if you do. Hoping he would say yes. He said, I can talk to him but he wont like it. So I just stopped talking to my ex in general. That was about.. 4 months ago. and the "other guys" he's saying are my friends who are IN RELATIONSHIPS. except for one who I'm helping trying to get into one (cole)

[VeveCakes]

He seems to be uncomfortable with it, so I would keep that in mind. Personally if my boyfriend got some other girls number I would dump his ass.

[basil67]

Sorry Liz, you can't have male friends giving you compliments while getting upset if a girl gives your boyfriend her number. If your male friends saw you as just 'one of the guys' they wouldn't be complimenting you.

[lizinator]

Oh sorry forgot to clarify, with people complimenting me. it's usually on fb for my pictures or fb messenger (more so random people) in which I tell them i'm taken if they continue pestering me. With my male friends, I've already told them to not flirt, or do anything Dylan might not like. Cole especially has been trying to befriend Dylan for god knows how long so he could actually meet him one day and be decent friends with him. he even offered to stop talking with me if that would help our relationship since Dylan I guess is very insecure? and my other close guy friends I had to drop for him because he got jelouse.. even if one of them was gay/in a relationship.

 

I've told him already.. it's fine for him to have friends that are girls and go hang out with them. Just don't do something you know you'll regret. But this girl is a whole other situation.. She's only looking to get involved with him sexually or relationship wise. Which I'm not entirely sure how to confront him with how I don't like how he still has her phone number.

[smackie9]

IMO he is the issue. He purposely rubbed this in your face. It's quite possible it didn't really happen, and he is making it up as a way to get his way...to have you completely cut out every guy out of your life. Your BF is a controlling manipulative jerk. Please dump him before he isolates you from more than just guys. IMO if the person you are with is forcing you to eliminate people out of your life....he should be the one eliminated out of your life....he isn't going to change, he will continue to make you feel you are the bad guy...get rid of him.

[Rainah]

This sounds like a toxic relationship, it makes my skin crawl because it reminds me a bit like a few guys who I was dating in the past. He is showing traits of being jealous, controlling and manipulative. It also sounds like he is seeking other options because he does not trust you as far as he can throw you. If you both can't trust each other now then what makes you think the relationship will last? I think its odd he isn't telling other girls he is in a relationship already, like I said its almost like he is seeking other options and a reason for that is probably due to a relationship breakdown of him not being able to trust you and not being able to communicate with you. He is furious of you being friends with any guy, do you want to be the untrusted girlfriend who has no friends and has your social media and phone checked because of someone who doesn't trust you? Believe me it will soon get that way if you carry on in this relationship the way it is. I honestly think you should both go your separate ways before it gets worse, or if you want to carry on with this relationship be prepared to ditch all your friends for him. A relationship feels a lot better when you find someone who trusts you and you trust them, they are out there you just need to keep looking.