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how to feel better about myself


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yellow daisy

Im so embarrassed all the time in everything i do and i feel self conscious about everything and what everyone thinks, its the most uncomfortable feeling in the world. I wish i could stop feeling like this in caring about what anyone thinks chances are no one thinks anything (I'm not the most exciting person out there, I'm actually really boring to be honest) yet i feel constantly embarrassed about everything and every little move, conversation, action i make. I hat feeling like that i wish i could change this. My ex was that type of person that whatever he did he had no shame he didn't feel embarrassed of anything and he never had a second doubt about anything. I wish i was like that to just be able to live my life without a care in the world.

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That actually sounds like you might have some kind of disorder or anxiety disorder or something.

 

You may want to get some kind of professional evaluation for that.

 

I would start with your personal physician and see if he/she can offer you a referral to someone who deals with this type of issue.

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Im so embarrassed all the time in everything i do and i feel self conscious about everything and what everyone thinks, its the most uncomfortable feeling in the world. I wish i could stop feeling like this in caring about what anyone thinks chances are no one thinks anything (I'm not the most exciting person out there, I'm actually really boring to be honest) yet i feel constantly embarrassed about everything and every little move, conversation, action i make. I hat feeling like that i wish i could change this. My ex was that type of person that whatever he did he had no shame he didn't feel embarrassed of anything and he never had a second doubt about anything. I wish i was like that to just be able to live my life without a care in the world.

 

You appear to have a social phobia.

 

It is something that can be addressed and resolved.

 

Talk to your doctor.

 

Some Cognitive Behavioural therapy would probably be very helpful.

 

 

Take care.

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yellow daisy
You appear to have a social phobia.

 

It is something that can be addressed and resolved.

 

Talk to your doctor.

 

Some Cognitive Behavioural therapy would probably be very helpful.

 

 

Take care.

 

That's the thing, i do go out if invited, and since I'm in school there is 0 social life since we are in class 24/7 and weekends i work, but i feel self-conscious in general, like I'm not afraid to put myself out there and have a good time, i wouldn't necessarily consider it a clinical indication of social phobia maybe partial yes? where I'm just worried about what others are going to think but at the same time it doesn't really affect my daily life kind of thing because i feel I'm rather sociable and way too talkative at times. I have hung out with classmates, coworkers etc and felt comfortable its just i guess sometimes whether at work, school, or just out i always want to leave the best impression and i end up feeling self-conscious sometimes worried about what others may think of me. I wish i could change that and be more like those out there who don't care what people think of them or who just feel like take it or leave it kind of way. I just would like to have that confidence that brightens my day kind of feeling, where I'm confident in my own skin without self-judgement at times.

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  • 2 weeks later...

You know it's all in your head.

 

Pump yourself up in the morning and evening just like brushing your teeth. Mental health preventative care!

 

Look in the mirror and start saying only nice things about yourself. If there was a moment that day you felt self judgemental like "oh they think I sounded stuoid when I said bye," just say "you said bye like a cool girl today!"

 

Say it first or second person whichever is easier.

I'm special

You're beautiful

I'm fun and people like me

You make good suggestions

I'm good at x

...

 

Practice pumping yourself up! 2x a day before or after you brush.

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This world and our perceptions are merely a reflection of ourselves. Our social conditioning and early upbringing is often what molds that perception. It is certainly possible to change that conditioning (regardless of age), whether it be by therapy, experiencing traumatic events or ingesting psychedelics in a controlled positive environment.

 

Perhaps it is simply a matter of self-realization that has yet to come. You are free to be whoever you are my friend. You have the power within yourself, nobody else has that over you. You have the freedom to screw up a million times if you wanted! It's all good!

 

Did you know there is nobody else like you? Nobody can compete with you. You are unique in every way shape and form. I don't even know you but I can guarantee that! Think about it.

 

You need to question your social conditioning and isolate it from yourself. Often times the voice in our head is the voice of a parent, or another, repressed deep deep down the well to a point where we think it is our own voice suppressing ourselves, and thus we become a slave to the voice in our head. Why are you always embarrassed? Is it possible you're trying to relive something you haven't let go of? When was the very first time you remember being embarrassed? You need to dig in your mind. Stop running. Take a deep breath, there is no better time then Now.

 

Perhaps you are ashamed of a part of yourself, such as your sexuality, spiritual beliefs (or lack-of), something you did, or something you didn't do. At some point you're going to have to face your demons. It might not be easy but it will certainly be rewarding.

 

While it is true that everybody is different, some are introverted and some are extroverted. Maybe you're an anti-social nihilist, but that's okay. Don't think about it so much though. Don't be afraid of yourself and of your opinions, whatever they might be. You must be true to yourself. Self-first. Always.

 

Focus on you. Straight up - **** what everybody else thinks!! Who cares?! Nobody cares. And you're not a bad person either way. And even if you were a bad person, so what? That is your own darma. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion, so just expect resistance instead of being embarrassed by it.

 

Reading your story reminds me of a girl I knew in high school. She was always embarrassed it seems, always saying sorry, always blushing, etc.. She was just young and for her time alone healed all. Chill!

 

The best way to step out of your zone is either for you OR someone else to prove to you that people out there don't care. Honestly, that's when I love travelling to big cities. You can just stand in the middle of a million people, do whatever you want and still feel completely invisible. Well almost anything :p

 

Remember. When you aren't looking outside you're looking in, and vice versa. So if you catch yourself wanting to feel embarrassed just say screw you brain not today and move on. You need to build your own back bone before being able to stand up to the world.

 

The next best medicine is comedy. Maybe you should purposelessly do the most embarrassing possible just so you can get over it.

 

Cheers and good luck.

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