Getting ex back long distance relationship

[Jonathan_88]

Hi,

 

My ex broke up with me 7 weeks ago due to long distance (we had been a couple for 2.5 years long distance and she couldn't do it any longer as I live In Italy and she lives in England). We were very commited and saw each other every 2 or 3 weeks, even in random cities if it was too expensive to go to our homes. She loved me very much and often said I was the man of her dreams and she wanted me to be the father of her children. For the first two weeks I stayed in contact with her, seemed needy desperate and was trying to get back with her and that would move to live with her. But she refused then she told me she slept with another guy (although I’m sure it is nothing serious typical rebound guy as she needs attention).

 

For the past three weeks I have gone NO contact with her deleting her from all forms of social networks to protect myself. She contacted me again asking why I was ignoring her and saying she hoped we could stay friends. She also contacted a friend of mine asking whether he had news about me.

 

10 days ago I wrote her a long email, saying that I needed space and time, that I was sad things ended badly between us, that I am moving on (although not entirely true) and that I understood why she broke up and that I wanted to stay friends (I am very confused and go through a string of emotions and yesterday that felt like it was the right thing to do). I guess I felt there was no way back as we live too far from each other.

 

She answered me in an angry, irritated and cold way saying she didn’t want contact with me for the next few months or to see me anytime soon, and that I had never written her such an email or letter like that when we were together. She got also annoyed by the fact that I said I am growing a beard and going to the gym (she said I should do these things when we were together). She also mentioned she is going out a lot partying and feeling very bad when she drinks and that she is not under control (she normally doesn't go out that much).

 

What does this mean? I guess anger shows feelings so guess she still has feelings. So maybe there is a way to get her back? It is so difficult with the distance because I have no idea how she is or feels. I just want to see her again at the moment. How can I build up the trust to make her want to see me again?

 

Any help appreciated! Thanks

[ExpatInItaly]

Firstly - buon giorno to my fellow Italian resident! Sei italiano? Sono canadese ma vivo in italia da 3.5 anni.

 

You two need to be honest with yourselves and each other - do you want to be together or not? If you want her back, speak to her. Not via email, text, etc. Ask to see her on webcam at the very least. She might not be open to this. If not, respect her wishes and begin to really close this chapter.

 

Was there a plan to close the distance in the near future? If not, I don't see much point in trying to reconcile. It's a significant distance and it's already been a couple of years. It's difficult to sustain that indefinitely.

[Jonathan_88]

HI! Thanks a lot for answer. Yes right now I want to see her in person. She broke up on May 2nd with me via Whatsapp. But since my last email and her angry response we have not been in contact at all. It has been 10 days now. What should I do? Should I try recontacting her? I want to arrange a meet up but I do not want to push either.

 

I was supposed to find a job there in january but unfortunately I didnt get it last minute although we had already found a flat. And since then something broke in our relationship. I said I would go live with her but I needed a job, but the problem is that I dont speak the language well enough there to find one so its difficult. So since january we had no end date to this long distance, and she broke up as she had no more energy for this long distance, as she is very dependant of a man. I am still kind of hoping we can find a solution.

 

Now I am just wondering how I should reconatcing her as our last exchange did not go well. She was angry. Should I send another email asking to meet in person? Shall I just send casual texts like "you look very beautiful in Whatsapp pic etc...". I just want to make her trust me again.

[Jonathan_88]

HI! Thanks a lot for answer. Yes right now I want to see her in person. She broke up on May 2nd with me via Whatsapp. But since my last email and her angry response we have not been in contact at all. It has been 10 days now. What should I do? Should I try recontacting her? I want to arrange a meet up but I do not want to push either.

 

I was supposed to find a job there in january but unfortunately I didnt get it last minute although we had already found a flat. And since then something broke in our relationship. I said I would go live with her but I needed a job, but the problem is that I dont speak the language well enough there to find one so its difficult. So since january we had no end date to this long distance, and she broke up as she had no more energy for this long distance, as she is very dependant of a man. I am still kind of hoping we can find a solution.

 

Now I am just wondering how I should reconatcing her as our last exchange did not go well. She was angry. Should I send another email asking to meet in person? Shall I just send casual texts like "you look very beautiful in Whatsapp pic etc...". I just want to make her trust me again.