DontBreakEven Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 What actually irritates me the most, and what I have a huge time coping with? It's that I know I haven't met the right person for me. Like, ever. I've fallen in love madly, and also had some relationships I would stay in forever because that's what ya do once you're attached and invested. But I haven't had that love yet that makes you wanna write a song. The one that is completely reciprocal in passion and intensity, and is also healthy/best friend-like. I haven't met that person yet. And that's what I really feel like I'm missing. Not even any of my exes. I'm missing someone I haven't even met yet. All those traits I projected onto my exes that they didn't even really possess, but I wanted them to ... I haven't met someone who actually DOES have them. I know this post kind of sounds like I'm wanting to dream up so perfect girl for me. But it's not even that. I haven't even come remotely close to the perfect girl for me. I really haven't. And that's what I'm grieving today. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SixxChick Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 I haven't even come remotely close to the perfect girl for me. I really haven't. And that's what I'm grieving today. You sound like you are grieving, but don't be irritated. I have come to realize that maybe the perfect person for someone does not exist. It seems easy to fall in love and want to stay in the honeymoon stage. But the reality is that life is in progress and there aren't always going to be peaks. There are going to be serious valleys. I think what's key is if you can find someone willing to rise to the level of overcoming the bad with the good. In my opinion, that means that they value the relationship and you have a partner who is willing to put it all out there in an effort to make it work. In my case, when times got tough, the guys I got involved with bailed. Two of them actually came back around after about ten years and told me I was the "one that got away." Yeah, right. I worked very, very hard to get over those relationships. Consequently, it was too late for them because they chose other relationships that didn't work. I'm not a fallback girl. I was willing to do the work and necessary maintenance that relationships sometimes require. They weren't. Too late for them. I wouldn't give up hope. You live, you learn. At least you know what NOT to look for as a result of your experiences. Take care. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 There's no such thing as a perfect match. That's why we have to be willing to accept minor differences from our ideal. Find somebody you're highly compatible with whose "flaws" we can accept. That's the best we can do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 I've got a healthy/best friend type relationship with my hubby. But mutual passion and intensity? I think that's the stuff of romance novels Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 People have gotta stop buying into these romantic comedy and The Bachelor type romances...it's not real. As any realistic person will tell you, there is no perfect match. Relationships are built off of trust, committment, and compromise. You may find the woman that fits your description but she has one added attribute...she snores. Will that make or break the relationship? To some yes and some no. But it's all about what you can make allowances for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
offwithhishead Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Totally agree with LostOnes05. I'm one of those idiotic romantics that halfway bought into the Hollywood type of romance. When a girl actually came into my life, I screwed it up and now I regret it. I would DO ANYTHING to turn back the clock and make it right but now it's too late. It's a bitter pill to swallow. If I ever get a chance like that again, I'm gonna make it right. But maybe this was my one shot and I ****ed it up. My ex wasn't my ideal. She met a lot of my standards but there were a few things here and there that I thought were a big issue at the time but now in retrospect, I think, who cares? They aren't a big deal and could have been worked out through time. It's because at the time I was over-confident, arrogant and throughout my life I've always been too much of a romantic. I also let my stupid friends' relationships influence me. I'd compare my ex to my friends' girlfriends. It's stupid. I think back and I'm a total idiot. I messed it up. And now it's too late. I've learnt a very bitter lesson. I just hope some higher power up there is willing to give me another shot at it sometime in the future. I won't mess it up. In short, there is no such as a perfect partner. As long as the good outweigh the bad, it's good enough. Everything else can be worked out over time and with effort and patience. Sometimes you just won't recognize it when the right woman for you walks into your life. That's what happened to me. It won't happen a 2nd time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Then make that irritation at missing the right future girl be the drive to make yourself the best possible candidate to attract her. Best advice I got (so I think) is that the girl of my life will just be walking past me and when it's right, I'll know. Link to post Share on other sites
SixxChick Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 You may find the woman that fits your description but she has one added attribute...she snores. Will that make or break the relationship? To some yes and some no. But it's all about what you can make allowances for. Damn. I totally snore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Damn. I totally snore. Dealbreaker!!! Haha jk...earplugs, the sound of crashing waves playing, or a BreatheRight strip and everything is good!! Problem solved! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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