The right thing?

[Xiphias92]

Me and my girlfriend were together for about a year until we broke up about a week ago. When we met, we hit it off pretty well. We had a great sense of understanding each other and she was my first relationship in which she actually took an interest into my hobbies (trains and fixing cars).

 

Everything was going great until school started. A "screw up" of mine caused me to work 40+ hours at my job and then I got accepted into a technical program to become a pharmacy technician which made me a full time student (11+ hours of school, not counting studying). To top it off I had to pull 3 loans to pay off all school expenses.

 

Basically my routine was: Wake up, eat, work, school, study, sleep. almost every day. It was becoming hard knowing that I couldn't hang out with her and it felt more of seeing her on a scheduled time. I felt useless when she would post on Facebook things like "she wished she had another best friend" (because the only friends she really had was me and a girl from high school) and other things like "wish I was at the beach, mall, park, etc." The only problem was that she wouldn't directly tell me about these things.

 

It wasn't till Christmastime that she told me she missed the spark in the relationship because I worked too much and spent too much time at school. I felt guilty, because even though I always tried to be positive and show that things were gonna get better, it didn't. We took a break beginning in January. At first, she told me it was because she wanted to focus on her job since she got a promotion. She later admitted halfway through the month that it was really because of me. I understood and we had some serious talks and ended up getting back together again by the end of the month. We had promised to be better to each other but that didn't last too long. She went back to school to be a CNA and the people at her work kept harassing her. It got to the point where she took out her stress on me, her classmates, and her own family. When she had a fallout with a coworker, she realized what she was doing wrong and apologized to everyone. It saw her return to normal, but she wasn't exactly the same anymore.

 

By late April, texting each other became an issue. Even though texting has no 'tone', we would get into arguments because we would misinterpret the things that I texted or she texted. She began to pull out the "you don't even know me anymore" card on these arguments. By May, I began to feel out of it - as if the relationship was a burden on me. Finally, we had a conversation about a personal issue of mine and I told her. Her response was that I was selfish for never telling her. It really wasn't that, I just had a hard time telling anyone at all.

 

Well after that, I realized I needed to stop all of this and work on my self. I went to her house and gave her the option to break up with her which she agreed to. I felt horrible that I couldn't cry like she did when I told her. But I wanted to still show her that I was positive that we would get back together when the time came. She said she couldn't promise me anything and that her "window" is open for anyone if they came in.

 

I just can't help but wonder if I did the right thing? I really love her and I didn't want to burn the relationship to the ground. I just hope we might get back together. She's still there for me and still shows that she wants a relationship, but I just don't know.

 

 

Oh, the "screw up" at my job was when I had applied for health insurance. But stupid me did not read the fine print about it and put maximum coverage. Almost $150 was deducted per paycheck. It wasn't until June 2016 that I was able to remove it.

[bummer]

You absolutely did the right thing. With difficult decisions someone once said when your 60% sure, act on it. If both of you find yourselves with more time and space to commit, then maybe you'll come back together. For now, focus on you and your school.

[Xiphias92]

Thank you bummer! I'll try my best to work on myself!