Waff Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 I have never posted on a forum for advice before, just been having problems lately and realize that my situation differs from most of the threads that I have read. I apologize for the length but any help would be muchly appreciated. Okay, been living with a girl for the past 3 years. I am much older than her. She is 20 and i am 27, so i was 24 and she was 17 when we met. I had 2 children with two seperate mom's and me and her had a child a year ago. That's right folks... 3 kids and 3 different moms. When she moved in she was only 18 but she did great around the house and we had fun together most of the time. After she had her own child, everything changed. She instantly became distant from my two kids and started being VERY negative about everything imaginable. She up and moved out 3 weeks ago saying her reasoning was that with me and my kids it was all too hard and was making her into a bitter person... but the MAIN reason for her leaving was my lack of involvement in wanting to party anymore or do things together outside of the house. After she left she called me at 5:00 AM and wanted me to come over (I wonder why? :-) ) So I said no because I was still pissed off that she left. One week later she asked me to take her to the fair and I said no. She called again the same night and again, I said no. So she meets a childhood boyfriend while she is at the fair and has now started a relationship with him. This made me want her back in the worst way that you wouldn't believe it. I can't sleep, haven't been eating good (lost 6 pounds in 5 days), pour my heart out to her everytime I get the chance. Bought her flowers and ripped up rose petals and put them in front of her car door on the ground while she was at work (i know it's corny :-) ) She still rejected me, although she said it made her blush for about 2 hours. I know she slept with the new boyfriend and this f***ing infuriates me, but i have no right to really be mad and I know that. It really pains me though, that she is chosing him over me... yet still shows me affection a bit to keep me as a security blanket. After she has been seeing the new guy for a week, 2 days ago I went over to her house to visit with the baby and was drinking. She was sober and whenever I asked her if she wanted me to leave she would say no. I ended up staying the night over there and we had sex. Not just sex, but asking me to hold her in bed afterward and all of that good stuff. I left for work the next morning and I know she had the guy back over that night, she said he left early though because she had to work in the morning and he was going out with his cousin or some s**t. Today when she came over on her lunch break to see the baby she (out of the blue) jumped on my lap and wrapped her arms around me and gave me a kiss. I layed on the floor with her for a minute or two and kissed her a few times and she wrapped her leg around me... I don't mean to be so explicit but I want you all to know that she was being responsive,,, not just me pushing it on her. This evening she called to make arrangements for me to drop the baby back off at her house and I asked her if she wanted me to stay and hang out and she said she didn't care but if her boyfriend calls her she is going to invite him over. I got pissed off and hung up, dropped the baby off, and left quickly. It should be noted that we are not being irresponsible with the child whatsoever. No animosity, desperation, or otherwise negative attention is being inractured on her. The question that is bugging me is... No contact rule can't be implied here obviously because of the baby. Should I continue to show her that I really care, or just ignore her and act like I have moved on (though, this can't be further from the truth). I do love her very much and realize our mistakes. I truly believe we can make it work again if she is willing to give us a chance to. Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 Originally posted by Waff I have never posted on a forum for advice before, Welcome to the madhouse I truly believe we can make it work again if she is willing to give us a chance to. She's 2-timing both you and her new boyfriend. Frankly, I'd back off. There is such a thing as emotional no contact for these cases. Keep the minimum friendly contact for the baby's sake. But don't be available emotional or sexually. Unless or until she is willing to commit to you again. Link to post Share on other sites
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