Im new here

[Zhara]

I thought I give it a try and see if there are anyone here that are in the same boat as me.

 

 

Im married my husband doesn't chat well im sure he doesn't. Although we are married im completely alone why? He spend 99% of his free time on his pc. He would sit there and play his online games. We doesn't discuss things.

 

 

I so long for someone who could ask me how was our day at work, or thank you that was a nice supper, or did you sleep well. I don't want to get divorce im not up for it. I don't want an affair well maybe an emotional one where I can discuss things to my hearts content.

 

 

Today just because my daughter went to the park with a friend he said that we are conspiring and that we mustn't ask him anything cause he feels nothing for us. I thanked him for feeling nothing. Every night I pray that he will find someone and leave me. Our marriage consist of nothing he doesn't try and im tired of trying.

 

 

So I wrote here to have a place to vent. If there is anyone out there going thru the same thing woman / man who are interested in talking well let me know. Thanks for reading:-)

[Just a Guy]

Hi Zhara, sorry to see you on a forum like this asking for help. With what you have written it is clear that your husband seems to have lost interest in you. You seem to be from a non English speaking place and so maybe your culture is different from Western culture. It seems to be from a place or region where men dominate women.

From the manner of your writing you seem to be in a lot of emotional distress and this is certainly not conducive to living a happy anf contentef life. Not knowing too much about your background or where you belong, I cannot say more than just this. If you are unhappy in your marriage then divorce your husband and find someone who loves and cares for you. I do not know if you had a love marriage or sn arranged marriage, but if the former then it should not be difficult for you to divorce.

I think most people on this forum would need more background information about your situation, location and culture to be able to offer you more meaningful advive. Till then I wish you the very best.

[Larryville]

I don't want to get divorce im not up for it. I don't want an affair well maybe an emotional one where I can discuss things to my hearts content.

 

Old saying… “quicksand looks like solid ground until we step onto it and find ourselves trapped and sinking.”

 

You first need to make sure you understand what’s happening. Why do you feel so disconnected? What do you want your husband to do? What can you do to improve your marriage? Since you can’t change your spouse…what do you need to change about yourself?

 

Bottom line is you can’t overcome emotional disconnection alone. If your husband isn’t willing or able to meet your needs, then you need to either accept him the way he is or end the relationship.

 

You need to find out pretty damn quick if your husband wants to participate in your marriage?

Ask him to go to marriage counseling, relationship retreat or a quiet weekend, seek a connection. You’ll know right away if he’s willing to invest the time and energy needed to build a healthy marriage.

 

If you don’t want a divorce you need to explore why. Are you afraid of being alone, are you financially handcuffed, is it because of your children? Some seriously soul searching is badly needed. But if you are not willing to explore ALL options you are indeed in the quicksand.

[mercy222]

I thought I give it a try and see if there are anyone here that are in the same boat as me.

 

 

Im married my husband doesn't chat well im sure he doesn't. Although we are married im completely alone why? He spend 99% of his free time on his pc. He would sit there and play his online games. We doesn't discuss things.

 

 

I so long for someone who could ask me how was our day at work, or thank you that was a nice supper, or did you sleep well. I don't want to get divorce im not up for it. I don't want an affair well maybe an emotional one where I can discuss things to my hearts content.

 

 

Today just because my daughter went to the park with a friend he said that we are conspiring and that we mustn't ask him anything cause he feels nothing for us. I thanked him for feeling nothing. Every night I pray that he will find someone and leave me. Our marriage consist of nothing he doesn't try and im tired of trying.

 

 

So I wrote here to have a place to vent. If there is anyone out there going thru the same thing woman / man who are interested in talking well let me know. Thanks for reading:-)

 

 

I"m sorry you're feeling alone in your marriage, real sad indeed. One thing that have always work for me for beating loneliness is church, I've had an instant family and set of friends every time we've moved. Have you considered counseling? It could be the best alternative for the whole family. I know focus on the family has a 1800 number with counselors available. Don't underestimate the impact this will have on all of you. I'll pray for you.

[Just a Guy]

Hi Zhara, some folks have come on here and offered you some good advice. However, you have not revisited your thread to reply to these people or acknowledge their interest in your case. So the question is ' Are you serious about your situation'? Unless you give a feedback on the responses that people give you they will lose interest in your situation. I guess we will wait some more for a response from you to be able to offer you further advice on your situation. Others , too, will join in and you will have a wealth of good advice to choose from and apply to your situation as you think fit. I also reiterate what I said in my previous post about your giving more background information so that people can offer you more focussed advice. Warm wishes.

Edited June 22, 2016 by Just a Guy