akhan42 Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Long story short, I have known this girl for 2 years, and we have been seeing each other for just over a year and in a committed relationship for 7/8 months. The first few months I was doing things right- ie setting up dates and focusing on hanging out and having fun. I have been having a difficult couple of months with student debts and job insecurity. Unconsciously I have taken this out on our relationship ie my insecurity has been leading to serious talks and attempting to pressure her into committing/constantly questioning her commitment. She has gone away until 6th July. I was extremely stressed and anxious before my first exam and called her at around 1am several times. She picked up, annoyed and cold and said maybe she did not want to be the girl I knew anymore. I panicked and followed with a couple of needy texts. Eventually I spoke to her in the morning and I asked if she still wanted to be with me. She hesitated and said I need time to think and said we will talk when she is back. I sent a jokey text her way the next morning reminding her of the good times and she explained her reasons for the break. I asked her if we could be friends and she said no- ie she still wants to give the relationship a go. She closed with saying that I am on thin ice and should leave her to enjoy her holiday before permanent damage is made. Day 8 no contact, no text no calls. Does it sound like she wants to make things work-? in the texts I sent I did acknowledge I had been needy and difficult as a result of exam stress and money problems. I feel I might be able to salvage this by creating a date and keeping it fun and casual, reverting to what attracted her in the first place. Any tips for when she is back? I am powering through with no contact and am working on myself- gym, studies but cant help but wonder if she misses me! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author akhan42 Posted June 21, 2016 Author Share Posted June 21, 2016 I am optimistic as she rejected my offer of friends and said I am skating on thin ice- which should be an indicator she wishes to continue with the relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 It sounds as though you know what has led to this, which is good! You’re not in denial and you see that your personal turmoil and the way you handled it is destructive. Have you done anything about the underlying problems and thought about how to handle emotional issues when you’re in a relationship? I’d think that that would be more important in salvaging the relationship than a fun date or working out would. Those might be seen as just trying to sweep under the rug or minimizing the core issues. Also, even if you and she don’t stay together, it would be good to overcome that problem before getting into a future relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 21, 2016 Share Posted June 21, 2016 Relax, relax, relax. Spend the time between now, and when she gets back, on getting into a calm and peaceful place inside yourself. Do things that make you feel good. See people who make you feel good. Get a bit of extra rest. Uncoil. I hope your talk goes well. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author akhan42 Posted June 22, 2016 Author Share Posted June 22, 2016 Thanks guys. She messaged me this morning- HER: 4.56am- Hope all your exams are going well x ME: 9am- Dutty girl. Ill bring my scrubs x HER: 9.02- Dutty girl is looking rather viet (vietnamese) My strategy was to keep things jokey- kill the tension ie avoid any relationship talk to get her comfortable around me. I will ignore her final message, wait till shes back from holiday and I am sure she will reach out. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
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