Josephine123 Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Hello, Please I would like some honest opinions, good or bad, I need some guilidance, I just cant see the light... I am a 37 year old woman who has been in 2 very long failed relationships,,,the first, I dumped him the second, he dumped me,,,,this one destroyed me as he just disappeared from my life with no explanation or goodbye and wedding plans.... I feel too old to start over, I dont even know where to start, I think if I have a chance to have a baby at this point will be in vitro and through donated sperm,,,,I cant meet anyone, in my city everyone is already married, no social life, just work then back home, its sad,, I feel my life is ruined, all my dreams and hopes, for a family of my own,,,,,I dont know what to do, is my life over??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 No, your life is not over. You’re injured, not destroyed. Just as you might not have predicted this, there are many things in your future you cannot predict. Some will make feel you happy and some will make you feel sad, but most will just be. If you’re panicking, do 30 breaths in which you just focus only on your breath and your body. Feel your chest and belly take in and release the breaths. Force yourself to do 30 and pay attention to them. That’s how to reboot and take back control of yourself and your body- just breathe. You’ll be ok. You ARE ok. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SixxChick Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 No. Take a deep breath. I would love to go back to being 37 again. Take it from a 55 year old, never been married or had kids chick. Live your life without worrying about the stuff you posted. And, please, please, PLEASE, take advantage of your 40's. Trust, me, it will go by in a blur. 40's is the new 30's. If you want to have kids, you will probably meet someone with an extended family. It's not the end of the world. Be true to yourself and do not beat yourself up for not being where you think you should be in life. Many of us are not there either. And please make happiness YOUR priority, with or without someone and/or kids. Link to post Share on other sites
peonyrose Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Hi Josephine, you are not too old to meet someone new, nor are you too old to have children. I know how you feel, my fiance left me 5 weeks ago out of the blue, all my dreams of a happy family and more children ( I have a teenage daughter i had at 19, my love) seemed gone. I was and am devastated over this and many other part's of this awful breakup. A friend I know who's a midwife, said to me "don't cry anymore, you will get your chance, we have ladies at 43 giving birth to healthy babies" so you see, you do have time. And I have time. Keep writing on this for support Link to post Share on other sites
Author Josephine123 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 thank you all for your replies,,,I just came back from the doctor and he tells me there is very very little chance I could ever have babies as my fsh hormone is through the roof and the ovaries and not responding like they should I am 37 and whats called pre menopause, I was going to freeze eggs and found out about this,,,so now, all I ever wanted in my life, a family of my own, might never happen, and if this becomes true, I dont think I will be able to go on with my life...this idea is so painful that I wish I could just off a cliff, if it wouldnt crush my parents I probably would,,,how can I even go on now?? Link to post Share on other sites
Sioned Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Ive been there. This will take some time to process, and to come to terms with - but I wanted to tell you that children are not necessarily off the table - although children that are biologically yours may be. Im not sure where you live, or your circumstances, but ask for a referral to a fertility clinic and talk through your options. You may not be able to use your own eggs, but some countries do allow you to use donor embryos (either left over from other people's IVF cycles or in some countries like the US from 2 anonymous donors.) A fertility clinic will also be able to confirm your egg status as well, just to make sure. Its not cheap, and can be desperately frustrating, and will take a lot of inner strength and resilience, especially as a single woman, but it is possible to do. You may have to travel abroad depending on where you are. I am going down this road (at 44) - adoption isn't an option for me, as I am now single, and would basically not be eligible where I live. But please know you are not alone in facing this issue - and its going to become more and more common. There are no guarantees - but there are options. Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity_84 Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 so now, all I ever wanted in my life, a family of my own, might never happen Please reconsider what you think a family is. Many people in your situation become foster or adoptive parents. Even having pet(s) can make a family!! If your idea is the traditional husband/wife/birthing children, and you already know this isn't a possibility (or a very slim one) maybe you should try exploring different options! A family can be any entity where you feel love and support, not just having a husband and children. Just my two cents, from a place of love. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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