jenc Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 I am a 40 year old woman and have been involved with another woman for over 3 years. At first, we were both married (to men) and our husbands were aware of our relationship. The first year+ was incredible, but. Not surprisingly, it didn't last. Her husband became very passive aggressive, making it harder and harder for us to see each other (and for her to live in that house) - after a year of constant struggle, she finally told him she was a lesbian, didn't love him, and she left. I talked to her many times during that period about staying, and working out a compromise for the sake of the kids, etc. But every time I raised it, she insisted she didn't want to stay and would get upset at me for suggesting it. Fast forward a year, and here we are, both separated, although my home life is very peaceful/friendly. And she treats me terribly. She is so much more moody and emotional than she was at the start of our relationship, and now openly tells me it is because she feels insecure. But no matter how much I reassure her of my love, things never change. And the worst part? Whenever I get tired of it and put my foot down, she pulls the card of "you can't leave me, look what I did for you!?". It is an incredibly heavy weight. I finally walked away, but I feel aweful. I love her, and I feel like I've abandoned her. Should I try to take her back?? I'm just afraid it will be more of the same cycle forever... Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 She treats you terribly., She is moody etc. She blames you for her problems. She tries to control you and emotionally blackmail you. No, do not take her back. Find someone who respects you, instead. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 I'm confused, do you two live together? What is she insecure about? Link to post Share on other sites
PennyP Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 Obviously you both care for each other because each of you have left your marriages. I would say do not give up seek couples counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 22, 2016 Share Posted June 22, 2016 I doubt this is really a lesbian thing, it's just a maturity/blameshifting/accountability thing that can affect any relationship, with a topper of lesbian intrigue to make things seem more dramatic. It sounds like she has some serious issues so I can't see how you did the wrong thing here. Link to post Share on other sites
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