Should I call him again or is he just not interested?

[justagirl1121]

hey, all you girls! Hope you all had a happy new year! I was reading through all these posts and I want to try to comment, so we'll see how well I can do. A lot of stuff i was thinking was already said, but I pretty much agree with it all!

 

I was kind of chuckling at it because each of you are telling the others what i think is true, but how come it is so freaking hard to be able to believe this stuff in our own situations???

 

lucia...

 

i don't think you're out of luck yet. i think Parmalot is right. There was some attraction with him texting you. I can see him not going to a xmas party. I wouldn't worry about that. Seems like a good thing him texting you while he's at a xmas party? I mean, it's just that you wouldn't normally do that if you're at a party right? So he must have wanted to talk to you. It's good that you guys made some effort to talk. It might just take a few conversations to get a little in touch with each other and meet up. Though I wouldn't wait more than like 2 weeks. If he doesn't make any indication or hints, i would either ask him to do something or just forget it. My feeling is that the guy should handle everything at first, but sometimes they're shy and the girl has to show she has a bit of interest so he doesn't have to fear the rejection if he thinks he has a chance of you saying yes.

 

Parmalot....

 

geez, can't believe he was driving around like that, leaving you without your car! Could be romantic, but too bad life can't be like that, with a prince charming to sweep you off your feet stupid work.

 

Since then, have you heard from him? Did he text you coming back?

 

phyrespryte, how are things going with you? You've been responding, but you haven't really said anything about you're life.

 

I have funny story. So embarrassing. The stuff happens when you don't want it to!

 

So, I told you about the story with the guy G from work who my friend and I went to eat with.

 

Well, yesterday, my friend wasn't here b/c she was sick and G came down and I saw him and he looked like he was going to go see her (she sits like 4-5 cubes over from me), saw she wasn't there, turned, not sure where to go, saw me, then headed to me. Like those instances where you go to do something, see you went the wrong way but need to look like you had purpose so you don't look like a retard. I guess now we all ate together he feels like he can come visit me. Great. So he stands there while i'm on this phone call and waits till i'm done. then we talk for a few minutes and he leaves. so i texted my friend and told her he came to talk to me!

 

Later on at like 4:30 he comes over again and waits till im done on the phone and goes something like "I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometimes this weekend, friday or saturday or something?" I was like oooooh shiiiiiiii---!

i didn't know what to say! i was kinda like um well maybe but im kinda busy saturday. i am going to sci center with kathy. (i really am but it sounded so lame). he was like that's cool. then i could tell i was turning red and he called me on it! Like, im sorry, you're turning, red, i embarrassed you. so that made me even more embarrassed. with every one sitting around me to could probably hear him!!!!!

 

i told him to like i'd hang out but i dont date people i work with and that i was kinda seeing someone.

 

after dave, he was like 'is that your old man?' and he was lke "when i saw that guy i was like who the f--- is he?" and he said he'd look at him mean if he came back down and he'd take off his wedding ring for me. haha.

 

of course i texted my friend and was like i am so going to kill you! and she was like "omg! I cant believe he said that to your face!" and dave was like "dude, that guy is not afraid at all."

 

today, at lunch, we were laughing about it. my friend well call her BC so she isnt just my friend. she's said he started txting her again and she is mean to him. she calls him a gay something nad tells him hes not a man hes a boy and i guess he thinks shes joking. and i said something to the effect of you know, if i was friends, and i got to know him and i ended up liking him, that'd be different, but i feel pressured now, and his looks are getting in the way. u know. i mean hes not ugly, he has this dorky cuteness, but not my cuteness. the whole thing is just putting me off i guess. and dave was like "well, i dont think anyone goes looking for a dork. like hey, im going out tonite to find me a dork!" LOL he's like, it's like dork wrangling, and put his hand up like he was throwing a lasso! lmao. it was great. i made fun of him and was like oh, is that how your wife got you? hahaha.

 

my issue is ths BB kid. I don't know where these sudden feelings came from, but i didnt feel this way with pirate boy. i liked pirate boy, i was attracted to him, i liked talking to him, but now with bb its more of that something else. its like when i was elsewhere all over the place, like seeing pirate boy and doing the other stuff in life, i knew BB liked me. I was like i know he does, no doubt in my mind. we went to eat on his lunch one night and he made a comment about some bondfire thing in this woods thing some friends own he wanted me to come out to or something down town he wanted to take me to and i said ok. i didnt say no. but iwas one of those, im not sure how to respond to this. at the time i was like probably not going to happen b/c i dont wnat it to get awkward. he wld tell me i look nice nad stuff when really i felt pretty crappy. the other day he told me that this prob i was having was cute. and i was like its not cute! and he was like well its only cute because its you. and i was like awwwwwwe. and then he called me like 10 min later for like 2 min while he was at work. or the one night he txt me while i was already out and asked what i was doing then after was like oh that sounds like fun. was just bored and thought i'd see if you wanted to hang out. ok so...now i really do!

 

like a few days before he was leaving i was all of a sudden like oh crap....now im regretting not having talked to him more and stuff. now im like he probably isnt interested. now hes like 2 hrs away.

 

but all the time i was hanging out with pirate boy, the things BB would say, i kept thinking, that's so sweet. why cant pirate boy be like that. why cant i have how bb acts with pirate boy. so confused.

 

i guess part of it was bb is so slender and not that tall, tho i think taller than me, i feel like a huge fatso compared to him, but now when he was leaving and we did all the hug things i was like hes really not that small. i wa slike oh man.

 

so i dont know what to do. i didnt want to go calling and bugging while he's trying to get settled into the new place, new job, and with everyone else prob calling, i'll prob give him a call sun night when the weekend stuff prob settles down.

 

my friend amy was like he lives in middle of nowhere. he probably isnt going to have like a whole lot to really do. i always think im bugging the person by calling them and i know i have to get that out of my head. ive been listening to john mayer like constantly b/c hes a big dorky john mayer fan. but he's the cute dork. i like dorky. just not G dorky.

 

do i really want 2 hrs? and of all my experiences, they never turn out how i think they should. so it'll probably blow up in my face. suppose i ought to give it a try.

 

hard to figure it out cause i cant really talk about it with ppl from work. they're liable to go and txt or say something to him. dont want that! or maybe i do....

 

i just feel like part of me maybe led him to think i wasnt interested but then i never really said i WASNT...i kind of agreed to do things, they were just like nothing real set in stone. so nothing ever came of them, they were just comments. and if i all of a sudden start showing real interest he's gonna be like so i move and now you're interested. or whatever. might be weird.

 

oh well, i dont know...

[Genji]

Since we're on the topic of inconsistency. Why is it sometimes girls are like that?

Hot one minute, cold the next? What gives?

[phyrespryte]

wow! That was some post Justagirl!

 

I don't think it'd hurt to call BB.

Yeah the distance sucks and would probably work against things...

I'm not sure where I was going with this.

 

Anyways...

I don't think he'd care if you showed interest now. I'm sure when he was all infatuated with you, he already knew he was going to move. But that didn't stop him from liking you. If you want to call him go for it. Doesn't sound like a bad thing to me. I think with him though...I'd kind of view it more like a friendship. That distance...

 

I guess if he ever decides that he's so crazy about you he'll drive all the way to see you...then I'd start worrying about liking him and stuff. For now he sounds like a positive kind of person to have in your life. I'd definitely keep in touch with him.

 

And thanks for asking about me.

There hasn't really been much going on in my life. Work work work. I got a new haircut. 8 out of 10 people hate it. But I love it.

 

School starts in a couple of days. I'm really nervous about seeing Steve. Actually I don't want to see him. He hasn't once called during the break even though he said we should be "friends". Douche. I've deleted his number from my phone. Working my way to deleting him from myspace.

 

I'm so scared about going back to school. I'm even more afraid that he'll come along and feel pity for me. For once I'd like to not be the dorky outsider. And I could go on and on about that, but I won't.

[phyrespryte]

Since we're on the topic of inconsistency. Why is it sometimes girls are like that?

Hot one minute, cold the next? What gives?

 

Same reason guys are like that.

 

Maybe you could elaborate some more?

[justagirl1121]

Good for you on deleted Steve from your phone! I haven't deleted pirate boy yet though. he doesnt really bother me anymore now that my mind is elsewhere. i have noticed each new person does get better than the last. i guess thats positive, right? you think i should just be friends with bb? I guess we'll see what happens. dating doesnt seem to get me very far.

 

how about pirate boy's gf is 22 and works near where i work and ok....i was out 5 times with him in 2 mo pd. we really didnt do a whole lot in the way of relationship things. i never slept over, etc. he went directly to this girl he found online and they're all having sleep overs within like 3 weeks and they're all official. i don't understand it!

 

my friend says she thinks he is crazy for dating this girl. apparently she seems immature and has no focus. i have no idea. that's all i heard. i wish i knew waht she looked like tho lol.

 

well i know it may be weird and awkward to see steve. i would just act like you don't care if you see him. like if you do, just be like chirpy and happy and be like "hi, steve! how was your new years!?" and dont talk too long. be like got stuff to do, catch ya later!

 

Originally Posted by Genji

Since we're on the topic of inconsistency. Why is it sometimes girls are like that?

Hot one minute, cold the next? What gives?

 

I don't know....maybe it's all about making sure about things. maybe it's about being scared of this being the final one. i dont know....some people are all gung ho and just go with it. others are afraid to make the change maybe. it can completely change your life you know. im pretty consistant i think. i dont try to show interest if im really not. and i dont get involved too deep unless there's something there i really want. in the last year i've had more than ever. but it rarely comes along b/c i dont try for random dates, not that im asked, unless i actually know i want to persue something. maybe i should change that view. but that's my on the spot opinion.

[Parmalat]

Hi Phyrespryte,

 

I got a new haircut. 8 out of 10 people hate it. But I love it.

 

Thats so great, a new hair cut to start the new year, who cares if others have an opinion the one that counts is what you think, and clearly you love it, so WONDERFUL!!!

 

School starts in a couple of days. I'm really nervous about seeing Steve. Actually I don't want to see him.

 

In a perfect world you probably won't have to, but this is reality and your most probably going to run into him sometime so my suggestions are the following:

 

1. You want to look fabelous every day until you run into him, there is nothing more akward than running into him and looking like crap, so go the extra distance and make yourself look HOT!!! every day. Make a point of looking like a million bucks.

2. When moving around spots you know he is likely to be, have support in a friend or something, so that when you do run into him you can say hi and leave without having to come up with a reason.

3. Have your conversation planned out in your head, if your anything like me the pure sight of him will make your brain go and delete all logic and you stand there mumbling "NOTHING" and he ends up thinking your still hoping for something. Make sure the conversation and possible answers to questions are like a script you can just ramble off.

4. Stop thinking of him in that way and get yourself someone else, the faster you can get interested in someone else, the faster you'll stop thinking or worrying about him.

 

He hasn't once called during the break even though he said we should be "friends". Douche.

 

More than enough reason to work him out of your system, if he's not calling he's not ever going to, waiting for it makes you sad and feel unappreciated. You are so great and worth so much. You deserve a man that will want to call you every minute of every day. So forget about this one, your white knight is on his way!!!

 

I've deleted his number from my phone. Working my way to deleting him from myspace.

 

OK these are brave steps, but I'm never a fan of them. I like to keep the names and numbers on my phone and computer.

 

Now before you try to burn me at the stake. The reason why I do this is because I've been caught off guard before. Where a guy never called and then one day out of the blue he calls I didn't know the number (Cause I had deleted it) and he could hear the surprise in my voice and said something like, wow I still have that effect on you huh!! (AS____L) Sorry girls that guys just makes my blood boil.

 

Any case the point, you might want to recognise the call in the unlikely event that he does call, it will give you 5 seconds to sound lovely calm and together like your a cool summer breez that he'd been longing for.

 

I'm so scared about going back to school. I'm even more afraid that he'll come along and feel pity for me. For once I'd like to not be the dorky outsider. And I could go on and on about that, but I won't.

 

Don't worry at all. Just be you, live your life. Go to functions, study hard, be happy. He can't pity someone that is happy, busy, and living.

 

He's looking for the opportunity to say, "How are you doing?"

 

And you should be able to say. Wonderful thank you isn't this just going to be the best year ever! but seriously how are you coping with life?

 

 

Be wonderful, cause we expect nothing less, you are a brave, and beautiful woman, and this is going to be your year.

 

Best of luck, I'll be holding my breath!

[Parmalat]

Hi Justagirl1121,

 

I have to agree with Phyrespryte, give the guy a call.

 

What have you got to loose?

 

IF anything you fall in love, marry and move to his town and also sit in the middle of nowhere. But you'll have each other.

 

Just joking, but seriously, the distance might be a problem at first but if it goes somewhere he will do the effort to see you.

 

He seems like he's into you and the distance doesn't really bother him, cause he knew when he was flirting with you there would be distance between you.

 

Just call him and flirt heavily, that should give him the good indication that he might have been wrong and you do like him.

 

So call.

 

Good luck, and let us know how the call went!

[Parmalat]

As for my situation ladies, you won't guess who called this morning but MR F.

 

He just called to say hi and explain why he didn't visit me on his way back home from his trip. He also told me that he had a lot of respect for someone who is so dedicated to going to work, so I guess it really effected him that I didn't go with him but stayed behind so that I could start working on the correct date.

 

He was his usual loving friendly self, very nice and happy. Was messing with me again, joking around. He also wanted to know when I was heading his way again, and told me to let him know when I'm coming.

 

So here we are. This guy is something different, just as I was ready to write him off AGAIN, he calls. Well like in a previous post I'll just keep him as a good friend, nothing more.

 

What do you girls think, or should I try for something more, look there clearly is something going on, I'm just having difficulty putting a label on it.

 

So well thats my update... let me know what you think.

[phyrespryte]

Hi Justagirl,

 

I think Pirate boy is one of those really weird clingy guys that needs to get married asap. I'd be glad that I wasn't with him. I mean wow...three weeks and they're already having sleepovers? Scratch that who am I to judge?

 

But still he seemed to move really fast with this girl. Plus since she's immature...that sounds like he was looking for someone to mold into his perfect woman. Yuck. Who wants that? I'd be glad that he's gone.

 

And I agree...it does seem like each guy gets better than the last. It kind of makes me wonder why I would've been happy settling with the past guys in the first place.

[phyrespryte]

What do you girls think, or should I try for something more, look there clearly is something going on, I'm just having difficulty putting a label on it.

 

So well thats my update... let me know what you think.

 

Mr. F is crazy!!! Ok maybe not. I don't get this guy at all.

I'm going to have to agree with you, I think the friend thing is probably a good idea. Definitely the safe choice. But, you could try for something more. I just don't know. Sorry.

 

I think with this one you're going to have to trust your gut. What does your instincts tell you? Do you want to make something more?

 

Part of me wants to say don't bother. He should be trying to come over instead of waiting for you to come to him. But the distance makes me think twice about it.

 

I don't really know. If you decide to go there...I'd take it super slow and be extra cautious with him. Don't let him get all of your heart if he isn't putting out the same amount.

[phyrespryte]

Over the weekend I had some weird allergic reaction and my face became an ugly blotchy mess. Thankfully today I could cover up most of it with some powder and went to school.

 

I was on my way to my classroom and ended up passing by Steve. Blah.

I looked at him and smiled. The no teeth kind of smile. He kind of stared at me and then said hi. When I passed him he said nice bangs. I turned around and smiled again (no teeth still) and kept on walking.

 

I don't think he remembered who I was. butt wipe.

 

ok. just wanted to share that.

[Parmalat]

Hi Phyrespryte,

Over the weekend I had some weird allergic reaction and my face became an ugly blotchy mess. Thankfully today I could cover up most of it with some powder and went to school.

 

That always seems to happen when you least need it, but luckely there is powder!

 

I was on my way to my classroom and ended up passing by Steve. Blah.

 

Almost wanted to say "Told you so", you always run into them when you don't need it or when it is least expected. Please tell me you looked like a million bucks?

 

I looked at him and smiled.

 

Very smooth, have to say you sound like a pro.

 

He kind of stared at me and then said hi

 

I think we under estimate the amount of pressure they are aloso under sometimes, he might have been trying to figure out how to react.

 

When I passed him he said nice bangs. I turned around and smiled again (no teeth still) and kept on walking.

 

He made a comment, now depending on his actual physical apperance while saying it would state how to take it, but other than that he made the first moove of communication, not bad?!?

 

You keeping your cool and smiling again, what can I say, great move. The no teeth was excellent, you kept your pose, cool calm and collected, very nicely done.

 

I don't think he remembered who I was. butt wipe.

 

I don't think they have selective memories, he probably remembers.

 

All in all I think this was a plesant first meeting, though you didn't actually had to keep up a conversation, but I think it was a nice ice breaker.

 

I'd say well done!!!

[Parmalat]

What can I say, the man is a mistery, I'm not going to try and figure it out, never was one for puzzels. I'll let him make the next move, and if he doesn't well then it ends where it started in nothing.

 

Thanks though, you make me feel so much better when someone else has difficulty trying to figure this one out, I'm really having trouble.

 

But then again perhaps the fun is in not figuring it out.

 

I'm really kind of busy for the next 60 days, I'm writing the most important exam of my life so I'll be out of commission for a while which is good. After that I'll give him a run for his money.

 

So keep us posted on your STEVE-O meetings, I'd love to hear what will happen next.

 

Hey Justagirl, how is things going with you, have you called yet?

[justagirl1121]

Ok, I"m going to try out this quoting thing...I'm not sure I'm doing it right, because i'm not getting it in segments....so maybe you guys can help me out. I manually put in hte

things myself since the Quote and "" buttons didn't seem to do anything for me.....most likely reason for that is that I'm a retard, but anyway....

 

Must say I'm very addicted to John Mayer right now. Funny how that works....

 

 

Hi Phyrespryte,

 

 

That always seems to happen when you least need it, but luckely there is powder!

 

That sucks. I got this zit in the middle of my forehead right now; one of those under the skin ones, and it's a pain. It doesn't look so bad, but it's hard keeping up apparences! Do you know what you had a reaction to? Gotta love makeup! Hopefully, it's cleared up by now!

 

Almost wanted to say "Told you so", you always run into them when you don't need it or when it is least expected. Please tell me you looked like a million bucks?

 

It's good to get that first encounter over with, though I do have to say I haven't had that problem yet. Though I haven't had to deal with people from school or people that I was currently working with, so it'd have to happen if we happened to go to walmart at the same time or something. J or whatever he was called...mr. i only ate half a chicken finger dude i guess is avoiding us. Txted my friend like once and that was it. She's so happy. But, when we have our team meetings its on the 4th floor, and he sits in the front cubical and i have to pass him on the way to the meeting room! Ugh.

 

 

 

 

 

Very smooth, have to say you sound like a pro.

The smile with no teeth thing is good. Shows some recognition but shows you're not really caring, but you're a nice person, so you're not going to be all bitchy. When they realize that's what they really want, they'll see they messed up but it'll be too late!

 

 

 

I think we under estimate the amount of pressure they are aloso under sometimes, he might have been trying to figure out how to react.

 

Very true. Guys are so strange. It's like they don't analyze these things like we do. But i think some do, per like the remarks on this forum from guys who are like "IS SHE INTO ME!?!?!?" but who knows. Probably didn't have a chance to prepare for it.

 

 

 

He made a comment, now depending on his actual physical apperance while saying it would state how to take it, but other than that he made the first moove of communication, not bad?!?

 

interesting comment. like a compliment, but very random. not a lot of need for much communication. the smile says thanks just as would words.

 

 

 

I don't think they have selective memories, he probably remembers.

 

i'd say the dude definitely remembers you. they're a dumb species and if they didnt have us ladies around, they'd be extinct by now ad still be harry with bad teeth and hair, but i know he would remember you...if he's dated and screwed over so many girls that he doesnt, then no one should have him, that's nasty.

 

All in all I think this was a plesant first meeting, though you didn't actually had to keep up a conversation, but I think it was a nice ice breaker.

 

I'd say well done!!!

 

AGREED!

[justagirl1121]

What can I say, the man is a mistery, I'm not going to try and figure it out, never was one for puzzels. I'll let him make the next move, and if he doesn't well then it ends where it started in nothing..

 

Yeah, not much you can do. If you continue to bug then he'll think you're needy. And you'll just look like a retard. At least htat's how i'd view myself. he's not worth it if he's not going to get back to you anyway, so i'd just see what he does next.

 

Thanks though, you make me feel so much better when someone else has difficulty trying to figure this one out, I'm really having trouble. .

 

i hear ya. i know what you mean, but it seems like typical guy stupidness. i nevr realized how difficult this was! i always thought that if boy liked girl, boy asked out girl, boy dated girl, boy didn't confuse girl, boy and girl eventually got married and boy and girl lived happily ever after until it ended in a messy divorce! I guess it doesn't really happen that way!

 

But then again perhaps the fun is in not figuring it out..

 

nothing about this is fun at all! i'd like a big thick book to smack them over the head with!

 

I'm really kind of busy for the next 60 days, I'm writing the most important exam of my life so I'll be out of commission for a while which is good. After that I'll give him a run for his money..

 

that's good. maybe taking that time will help you figure things out about your feelings too. the reason why you're busy does not sound like so much fun tho good luck on the exam!

 

 

Hey Justagirl, how is things going with you, have you called yet?

 

 

i dont know....here's what i did. i called him sunday and he didn't answer. monday afternoon i get this txt: "hey justagirl!!! how r u? sorry i didnt get back to you immediately. i only work till 7 so you should give me a call later."

 

cracked me up with the word immediately. who says that?!? lol he does.

 

ok first i thought, ok sounds good right? all the !!! sounds like he is excited i called maybe? and the you should give me a call. he cld have just siad call me back sometime or nothing at all...though i was thinking he shld give me the call since i called him. he does get kudos big time for spelling my name right though. when i was seeing pirate boy he spelled my name right once, then every time spelled it the other way! but i am the older woman here so i whatver. that's a new one, older by like 8 mo lol. im NEVER older than anyone! I think i might actually like this

 

so i calle dhim mon night, it rang, went to voicemail. its so funny. i like his voice. he's such a slender kid, but he has a very manly voice lol. i didnt leave a message.

 

got nothing tuesday. got 2 txt msgs today, but he didnt respond back to my reply to his second. so........

 

went to dinner at this ichiban steakhouse place with the two girls from work, the one said she thinks he doesnt get service at this new place.

 

ok....well then how are we ever going to get into contact. think he'd have told me though, wouldn't he have? Like hey sorry dont have service at the house. call me on this num or i'll call you while im in town, blah blah...

 

so he's like sorry i didnt get back to you immediately. but then he isnt getting back to me at all...so i dont know....guess i'll wait and see.....whatelse can i do?

[Parmalat]

Hey Justagirl1121,

 

Yeah, not much you can do. If you continue to bug then he'll think you're needy. And you'll just look like a retard. At least htat's how i'd view myself. he's not worth it if he's not going to get back to you anyway, so i'd just see what he does next.

 

That's what I keep telling myself, but then he calls and shows up for coffee without letting me know, and he's all loving and caring. He's never broken a promise he made. He's never lied. He just doesn't do what I want him to do all the time. But other than that he has been a gentleman and acted honourably. So I can't really call him bad names. Perhaps he doesn't know that I want more, I have found that they sometimes lack the ability to put 2 and 2 together.

 

i hear ya. i know what you mean, but it seems like typical guy stupidness. i nevr realized how difficult this was! i always thought that if boy liked girl, boy asked out girl, boy dated girl, boy didn't confuse girl, boy and girl eventually got married and boy and girl lived happily ever after until it ended in a messy divorce! I guess it doesn't really happen that way!

 

You are so right, I call it the fairytale flue bug. Don't worry you can be cured but every one is liable to get it at least once in their life.

 

that's good. maybe taking that time will help you figure things out about your feelings too. the reason why you're busy does not sound like so much fun tho good luck on the exam!

 

Thank you I'm so going to need it!

 

i dont know....here's what i did. i called him sunday and he didn't answer. monday afternoon i get this txt: "hey justagirl!!! how r u? sorry i didnt get back to you immediately. i only work till 7 so you should give me a call later."

 

So here is what I thought about that response immediately upon reading it. I dont want a guy to tell me you "SHOULD" give me a call later.

 

That's a bit weird, I would have said it differently, that would have bugged me and the fact that you should do the calling. Why didn't he just call you later rather than text you? WEIRD!!!

 

he does get kudos big time for spelling my name right though.

 

That's almost like giving them a reward for identifying the correct imotion, like smile I'm happy or crying implicates I'm sad. That is the least he "SHOULD" be doing if he's into you. I can understand if you need to correct them the first time, but after that they have to concentrate on getting it right.

 

It is proven that one of the most important things to every person in is their name, get that right and you have a shot.

 

so i calle dhim mon night, it rang, went to voicemail. its so funny. i like his voice. he's such a slender kid, but he has a very manly voice lol. i didnt leave a message.

 

That is a little weird him continiously not answering the phone?

 

got nothing tuesday. got 2 txt msgs today, but he didnt respond back to my reply to his second. so........

 

Have to say this sounds odd!

 

Him not answering calls and not responding when you thought he might.

 

Perhaps he's busy?

 

But can anyone really be that busy? I mean picking up the phone and texting can really take a whole 2 minutes off your day, who these days have that kind of time to spare?!?

 

went to dinner at this ichiban steakhouse place with the two girls from work, the one said she thinks he doesnt get service at this new place.

 

That could be a possiblitiy, but with telephones these days, that one is getting unlikely. Besides he could get a land line if he really wanted to talk to you or get an internet connection and talk online.

 

There are many ways to kill a kat?!?

 

ok....well then how are we ever going to get into contact. think he'd have told me though, wouldn't he have? Like hey sorry dont have service at the house. call me on this num or i'll call you while im in town, blah blah...

 

My point exactly, whats up here, is he just into it when it is convenient for him? Hope hes not messing with you!

 

so he's like sorry i didnt get back to you immediately. but then he isnt getting back to me at all...so i dont know....guess i'll wait and see.....whatelse can i do?

 

So we're on the same cruise ship. Nice weather were having.

 

I really hope he calls and says that he has been insanely busy and it couldn't be helped but he has come to his sensus and because he was so inconsiderat he would like to take you to a romantic destination for a weekend, when will be good for you?

 

What we can dream can't we?

 

Hope he calls and chats for a long time and you just have a great moment with him and that he's going to be a great love!!!

[justagirl1121]

hey

 

well that's good that he's genuine and keeps his word. maybe he's not into a serious relationship, maybe he's shy, maybe he doesn't know what you want? could it be any of those? i dont know how well u really know him. thsee things just aren't going the way i thought they were. so much mroe complicated.

 

its like, you want to know if they're interested so you figure you'll just let it go and see if they come knocking..but if they dont know you're interested, maybe they'll give up...on the other hand, i hear they like the chase and if there's no chase, then there's no interest....on the other other hand, if they don't think you're interested, maybe they just give up. this is like my job. lol. can't get any straight answers about anything.

 

as for my buddy, i really don't think he's like that. i think he is a genuine guy too. this girl at work, she's 26 and married, but she and BB were in same training class are grew pretty close. i dont know if she's talked to him, i'll ask her tmr but i dont want to sound nosey and have them be like 'why, why do you want to know hmmm?' or something. but she says that he's a great guy. he seems to have long relationships of like 3 years, so it sounds like he doesnt have commitment issues, and if someone wants to stay with him for a long time, it sounds like that's also good. rather than ppl like me who cant keep anyone, its like whats wrong with that person, you know?

 

hsi last girl i guess started having problems, ran off, picked fights and all kinds of things that made him feel bad. so that ended several mo ago i guess.

 

i work for the cell company i have so i have an idea about coverage. he kind of lives in middle of nowhere i guess, so i suppose our friend at work cld be right that he has srv if he's like nearby but once he goes down the driveway to his house he loses it. so i can believe it. that wld SUCK though!

 

as for home ph, i am not sure how his living arrangement is set up. he has a roommate. he lives in a house i think. kinda farmland i guess. dont know abt land srv. LD cld be a prb. it's like we cld talk unlimited on our cells but otherwise will go towards my min or his LD u know? then its expensive.

 

What I thought of the SHOULD was that it sounded better than "hey call me sometime" it was like it was hey i WANT you to call me please! but yeah it was weird. i called you its your turn, but who knows? he's not like some macho guy. he is kinda quiet. he might be kind of shy. apparently there's some attraction. when i txted him once months ago b/c he was txting our friend i mentioned above i was like hey why aren't you txting me too and he said "pretty girls who are unspoken for make me nervous ;)" so i'll take that as a chance.

 

well i txt him like an hr ago and said like yo, what's up you dweep, and the message info said it was delivered a minute after i sent it, so it's not like his phone is off or he has NO SERVICE. but even like no bars or one bar is going to make it difficult to place and receive calls.

 

i'll just see from the girl at work and if i dont hear from him, i'll let if go for a few weeks, then i'll try again.

 

i just think he's a sweet guy and he's really funny and has good stories, and i like that. and he's a cutie. not someone i would innitially go for, but sometimes that comes in time you know. so i guess i cld be the agressive one and just keep trying. god knows some people can be relentless, you know!? sometimes it works.

 

or i cld just tell our friend i like him and have her talk to him lol. i think that'd be a little awkward though and proably isn't the best of my ideas. but it's a thought. lol

[Parmalat]

as for my buddy, i really don't think he's like that. i think he is a genuine guy too.

 

I figured as much but sometimes it's important to ask those questions you know, just to push you to think about it. But sounds like he's a good one.

 

he kind of lives in middle of nowhere i guess, so i suppose our friend at work cld be right that he has srv if he's like nearby but once he goes down the driveway to his house he loses it. so i can believe it. that wld SUCK though!

 

You tell me, but at least it explains a lot of things and gives him some credit for when he does call, heck he might be hanging upside down from a telephone pole somewhere trying to get reception. lol

 

What I thought of the SHOULD was that it sounded better than "hey call me sometime" it was like it was hey i WANT you to call me please!

 

I like your version better, I think your right!

 

hey

i just think he's a sweet guy and he's really funny and has good stories, and i like that. and he's a cutie. not someone i would innitially go for, but sometimes that comes in time you know. so i guess i cld be the agressive one and just keep trying. god knows some people can be relentless, you know!? sometimes it works.

 

My motto is always "Never give up, the winning party is never decided until the last moment" I think go for it. If it doesn't work, you'll say I did everything the right way and to my full capacity.

 

Just don't go to far and harras him or something, be gentle. But surprise him with "you".

 

Good luck

[phyrespryte]

Hi Justagirl and Parmalat!

 

Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm not sure what's wrong with me lately, but I've been really hard on myself. I keep thinking so negatively, but enough of that for now.

 

Parmalat...

 

How's the exam coming along? I hope that it's going well. Have you heard anything from Mr. F?

 

Justagirl...

 

Wow! I feel so behind! Have you heard from BB since your last text?

I agree with Parmalat's first post, I think the text message that you "should" call him is weird. I know it's nice that he wants you to call him, but wouldn't it have been easier if he called you when he's free instead of texting his availability? Not putting him down. Just thinking it's weird.

 

Plus since he's shy that makes it even harder to understand. Because shy guys do all kinds of weird things, so you can never really sure how to take their actions.

 

Also maybe waiting a couple of weeks is a bit too long? Maybe a week is enough? I say next time call him and if you can't reach him leave a message. Screw the texts! If he sends you another "call me at this time", send him a "I'll be busy then, but feel free to give me a call tomorrow when you get a chance". Anything else ignore for a a couple of hours or just don't bother.

 

I love texting with a passion, but I think it's getting out of hand with BB. And I don't know if it's just me...but isn't it so annoying when you send them a text and they don't reply? I always take those so personally. I've never had a positive experience with a guy who didn't respond to my texts.

 

Anyways, I still think this guy is probably only good as a friend right now. He lives so far and his phone habits would drive me crazy. But I agree with Parmalat about not giving up. Definitely do what feels right. If your gut is telling you that you should try a little harder...than go for it. If it doesn't work out...at least you've gained more experience and wisdom about how these things work.

 

Like you said...each guy does seem to get better than the last.

[phyrespryte]

This whole week has been, look like a million bucks week. It's a pain. And I think it's been PMS week too.

 

Anyways, I saw Steve yesterday. He was sitting at a table working with some other guy. His back was facing towards me, so he couldn't see me. I was trying to find my teacher with this other guy from my class. We went to his office which was a little distance in front of Steve. I tried my hardest to be invisible on our way back from the office. I looked at the posters on the walls, looked into the other offices on the side, everything I could to avoid having to look at him.

 

Well when I thought I had past his area of view, I looked at him. Well...

He was staring right at me. His seat was actually turned to the side and facing me. Instant eye contact. It was was weird.

 

I did the no teeth smile again. This time it wasn't as weak as the first time I had done it. He said, hi, but didn't smile. Just kept staring. I kind of get the feeling he thought I was going to say something to him.

 

I kept on walking and went to talk to the other people in my class. We were only a couple of feet behind him. Even more weird. After a minute, Jeff got up, squeezed my arm and said, see you around. I gave him a totally weak no teeth smile. Then he left.

 

I don't get why I can't speak? If I was to talk to him on the phone I know I'd be totally fine, but in person, I turn all nervous. It's so weird.

 

And why the heck was he staring? I'm obsessed with non-verbal signals and I think I've gotten pretty good at reading them. But I can't figure out that expression of his. It was so vague. Like I couldn't tell if he was checking me out or what. What the heck was he thinking? I know he wasn't staring off into space. He was too intense for that. And I know that I didn't throw him off guard when I looked at him. So he must've been looking at me long enough to know that I was going to look at him.

 

arrgh. I'm not sure what to do next. blah. There's nothing to do. He needs to talk to me first. What do you guys think?

[justagirl1121]

hey, girls.

 

I don't know what is going on. NO WORD from my friend. He's losing points. Since we weren't really phone buddies to begin with, and we weren't real close, I'm not going to take it too personally. I don't know how well he's keeping up with other people from work, but my friend who told me he didn't really have service at his house said he'd texted her a bunch of pix. So ? I don't know. Never responded back to my what's up dweeb text. Kind of annoys me. More time goes by the less I expect him to call. So I guess I need to find some new guy to get infatuated with so I don't have to get all worked up over this one.

 

As for steve-o...I don't know what it is with the staring thing. I think that is weird. I find it kind of awkward and you have to really be conscious of it. Like, with BB there was that and this dude who sits near me. its like everytime you walk by you make eye contact so its like they've been watching you prior to you making eye contact, because come on you can't just suddenly make eye contact every single time you know. When you walk by its like you can tell they look up from the corner of your eye. So with steve-o that sounds weird. What did he say to you to end things?

 

Some one at work a few weeks ago met this dude at a bar. he asked her out and then they went out a few times and they're all considering each other boyfriend and girlfriend and they talk like everyday and text a bunch. I'm jsut like...wtf? wait a minute. that's not normal. how did they make THAT happen!?

 

i dont know. much luck to all of us!

[Parmalat]

Hi girls,

 

Just a really quick Mr. F update, no contact, nothing since the last call he made last week Monday.

 

I have been really good and haven't made any attempt to contact him. I still think that was a response to the call I gave him that Saturday night that he picked up no response and like 30 seconds later put down. I think he was sleeping and didn't mute the phone the correct way.

 

So I'm in limbo, not sure if I should call and just say hi, casually like a friend?

 

How are you, what have you been up to, you know, if you can't have him as a boyfriend perhaps a friend would be nice.

 

Any ways, my brother has decided I've been single long enough and he and his girlfriend are sending me on a blind date with a guy they think is great! My options being a bit slow at the moment have decided to go along with this and actually do the blind date thing.

 

Perhaps I should take a buffer with?!?!?!?! Oh dear I really didn't think I'd be in the blind dating schene ever again.

 

But hell he could be great so I'm going!

[Parmalat]

Hy Phyrespryte

 

This whole week has been, look like a million bucks week. It's a pain. And I think it's been PMS week too.

 

I'm so proud that you've been going through all this trouble especially with PMS, keep it up, to me it sounds like it's paying off, I'll tell you later in this repsonse why I think so.

 

Anyways, I saw Steve yesterday.

 

Well when I thought I had past his area of view, I looked at him. Well...

He was staring right at me. His seat was actually turned to the side and facing me. Instant eye contact. It was was weird.

 

I have to say I think this guy was hoping you'd look at him, I almost get the feeling that he's wanting to talk to you to clear up stuff or just to get you for himself for a while. Why would he stare at you.

 

It's like he can almost not believe he let you get away.

 

I think you'd better brace yourself cause this ride isn't over yet. He's coming back for a second try. I don't care if this guy is engaged to the pope something is up.

 

Body language like that means one thing, look at me, talk to me, be with me.

 

I did the no teeth smile again. This time it wasn't as weak as the first time I had done it. He said, hi, but didn't smile. Just kept staring. I kind of get the feeling he thought I was going to say something to him.

 

I hope in addition to the smile you gave a nod in acknowledgement of the hello he said, just to be polite.

 

But he's soo hoping your going to talk to him. I think your just to beautiful and strong for him. I get the impression from what you wrote that he is almost hoping you'd be a mess and that he would have had a devistating reaction on you.

 

Instead your lovely, look great and your not giving him the time of day.

 

This is giving me such a kick, to think that this guy might be kicking himself for letting you go, and he's dying to speak to you to hear if your just putting on a brave face or if you are really this VISION!

 

YOU ARE AWSOME, KEEP IT UP!!!

 

(See dressing up helps, one guy on the hook)

 

Even more weird. After a minute, Jeff got up, squeezed my arm and said, see you around. I gave him a totally weak no teeth smile. Then he left.

 

Now I'm a little bit schetcy on who Jeff is, if you can just clue me in again, but the idea I get from his reaction was that he's noticed you and the whole touching thing is never bad when comming from guys.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if he features a littlebit later on during the year.

 

(See dressing up helps, another guy on the hook).

 

I don't get why I can't speak? If I was to talk to him on the phone I know I'd be totally fine, but in person, I turn all nervous. It's so weird.

 

The phone hides your true intentions sometimes and you can lie to cover it up, but when your face to face, a lot more gives away what is going on in your head than what is comming through your mouth. So you have to guard what you say that much more.

 

I think that when you are not able to speak is cause somewhere in your head it's telling you that if you open your mouth they will know the truth, so you keep yourself guarded and smile.

 

Great tactic but prepare for the worst, cause one of these days, your not going to be able to get out of a conversation.

 

And why the heck was he staring? I'm obsessed with non-verbal signals and I think I've gotten pretty good at reading them. But I can't figure out that expression of his. It was so vague. Like I couldn't tell if he was checking me out or what. What the heck was he thinking? I know he wasn't staring off into space. He was too intense for that. And I know that I didn't throw him off guard when I looked at him. So he must've been looking at me long enough to know that I was going to look at him.

 

Perhaps he hoped you would sit down for a moment or just talk to him if he made enough contact with you. I think somethings up, you'll be hearing from him.

 

There's nothing to do.

 

Next time surprise him, say hi, then smile with no teeth. Greet him first, but be prepared for some conversation.

 

He needs to talk to me first.

 

I think this is the second time he has tried to talk to you, by beginning with a simple hi. He's hoping you'd say hi back and he could go from there, the whole smile thing is throwing him off, cause he doesn't know how to respond to it.

 

He is trying, what about next time you respond back.

 

It's only conversation, by the age of 70 you won't even remember what you said.

 

The worst think you can do is make an idiot of yourself which you won't do.

 

So talk to the man. Be you, a fabelous you, a woman that doesn't need him, someone that he needs but cannot have.

 

Surprise him that he didn't break you, but only lost you!

[Parmalat]

Hi Justagirl1121

 

I don't know what is going on. NO WORD from my friend. He's losing points.

 

I've found it hard to track guys using phone records, they are not very steady with the whole instant communication thing. In my experience guys don't always communicate on a phone as we would like them to or expect them to.

 

I think perhaps he might have moved faster than anticipated or he thinks that due to the distance this may not be what he is looking for. Or perhaps be too much effort.

 

The whole friend thing makes him communicate, but the relationship thing gets him cold with no responses, leads me to think, he's not sure what to do with you so he's not answering in hope that you may loose interest and he won't have to do it.

 

Or he's busy?

 

Hars comment I know but I try to write as honest and not take back my first response, so somethimes when I read it again I go oh my gosh you were a bit harsh there. So really sorry but just a thought pattern, if you don't like it just ignore it.

 

Since we weren't really phone buddies to begin with, and we weren't real close, I'm not going to take it too personally.

 

If this guy really wanted something he's be phoning, texting and trying to get hold at you at all costs, the silence is making me wonder if he's trying to figure out what to do about the situation. Or like most men just avoiding it and it will go away.

 

I don't know how well he's keeping up with other people from work, but my friend who told me he didn't really have service at his house said he'd texted her a bunch of pix. So ? I don't know.

 

Sorry to say but I don't think this is a good sign, don't you feel that it should be the other way around, you getting all the attention and not another girl?

 

Never responded back to my what's up dweeb text. Kind of annoys me.

 

He might have been offended by the whole "dweeb" comment or as I've said before, don't know what to do about the situation and is hoping for time to take it away.

 

More time goes by the less I expect him to call. So I guess I need to find some new guy to get infatuated with so I don't have to get all worked up over this one.

 

Sounds like a solid plan, and I wouldn't bank on him calling any time soon, it's like Mr. F I know he's not going to call and yet I think about him.

 

The problem with me is if I call I don't think I could handle it if he didn't answer again. And worse if he never called back. I guess it's over, the short little romance in my head. At least only one person was affected by the problem and so far that person has been treated.

 

Some one at work a few weeks ago met this dude at a bar. he asked her out and then they went out a few times and they're all considering each other boyfriend and girlfriend and they talk like everyday and text a bunch. I'm jsut like...wtf? wait a minute. that's not normal. how did they make THAT happen!?

 

You can say that again, it happens to everyone around me too. This girl at work got engaged over Christmas, they've been seeing each other for a whole 2 months.

 

Don't fear though, it gets harder as you grow older, cause at the end of the day it feels to me like I'll be standing alone in the battle field of love haveing lost the war. Cause I'm loosing all the battles. But I think it might be partly cause I'm not choosing the right ones to fight. This last guy was too old, too far away, and has probably had too many life dramas that I don't even need to know about.

 

Time to moove on.

 

i dont know. much luck to all of us!

 

I think we should choose wiser next time. The only problem is sometimes there isn't a list to choose from.

 

Oh well girls, all I can say is

i dont know. much luck to all of us!

[justagirl1121]

So, steve-o is looking. it is a weird situation. i'd take it to mean what parmalot was getting at...that something's up. my experience makes it hard for me to really judge it. if a guy talks to me, i notice. b/c it doesnt happen very often. so you're situation makes me think that he's thinking about something. im not sure if he's looking for a second chance or not. i think sometimes guys want to know what if...u know? they want to see what they can't have. i agree with parmalot tho. i think next time you need to have a bit more conversation then just the teethless smile or a hi. you need to check on what he did over the weekend or how this semester is going or whatever. b/c i think if you continue in the same way, it'll get a bit awkward and/or he'll just give up or backdown. so if you catch him staring again, i'd make a point to walk over and say hey. i think even i could do this and if i can, you can!

 

 

 

I have been really good and haven't made any attempt to contact him. I still think that was a response to the call I gave him that Saturday night that he picked up no response and like 30 seconds later put down. I think he was sleeping and didn't mute the phone the correct way.

sorry, i was a bit confused by this....could you explain so i can say something about it? i may be missing the time frame too. are you saying he anws the phone and didnt say anything and then put the phone down without hanging up???

 

 

i appreciate your honesty about my situation. I'm the type of person who wants to nip it in the bud and know what's going on. this not knowing drives me crazy. yeah, sometimes the truth hurts, but i dont always like to get my hopes up. i just like to get it over with, you know? i havent told anyone about this really, maybe just a little here and there. but they dont really know.

 

some of my friends, one in particular is always like "he likes you, it'll work out" an so on and it gets my hopes up but its just so hard to believe that when you can't get anywhere ever.

 

it's funny, when my head was elsewhere, like with pirate boy, i know this bb kid liked me, i knew it! i was so sure! i just being dense i guess. now theres things i regret. now i've put myself in a new situation, my judgement is clouded and i think for sure he isnt interested...it's like...HOW CAN THAT BE?

 

from what you've said....as far as guys and phones...yeah i dont think they tend to be talkers. my one friend said she read something about guys...it's that they don't mind talking, but they talk only when they really have something to say, unless us girls who can just gab for hours. but u know what, guys sure can BS like no other, so i dont know...maybe someone has to make the iniative first, who knows how good of a theory that is.

 

as far as him moving faster, i think that could be true. i think he was trying for a bit but then suddenly he was approved to leave, got an interview and hired and had to get going to start within like a week or so. so yes, it was quick.

 

so maybe he isn't sure...it's like why phyrespryte said though, with steve-o staring. its' weird. i know i cld see my friend like staring from the corner of my eye when i was talking to someone else or something. and its like u dont want to really awknowledge it but u dont want to ignore it either. so i'd glance over and try not to completly ignore him, but when my one friend is a talker and on her lunch and he's taking phone calls, what do do u know?

 

as far as the whole liking thing goes, i think it's like an underlying thing, but we're just like casual friends and there shouldn't be any awkwardness at calling. he just moved. it's a pretty valid reason to call and say hey what's up, hows the new job, hows the new place. shouldnt he call back?

 

i need some weird txt that u fwd onto ppl u know, so i can fwd it to him.

 

my talkive friend siad she txt him like thur and today and he's good. so i told her that i tried to reach him and like an hour later i got no response and she was at work, and there's no excuse at this job, we can txt. so anyway. im all worked up over it and i am trying not to be but i guess u cant help how you feel.

 

i guess time will tell.

 

time for bed!