froker Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 Hello loveshack forum, im new around. We broke up almost 4 weeks ago. I applied no contact. I made the mistake of wanting to ask one of her girl friends if she knew if i could have a second chance, so i told her "hey, can i ask you something about [exgfnamehere]", then i figured out it wasnt a good idea and she was probably going to tell my ex, so i stopped talking. She did tell her. Second mistake, i randomly sent a funny photo to my ex. She looked angry for me contacting her friend, i told her sorry and said good night. I had to return my keys to her house, so 4-5 days after that im driving to her town without previously telling her. A coincidence happened on my way there, she randomly messaged me saying she was sorry about getting angry and that she didnt want to be angry with me, i read it but dont reply. I finally arrived, and kept it friendly and simple. I was nice to her but neutral, neither showing sadness neither extreme joy, we were just having a friendly talk. It went very smooth, we catched up with what we were doing all this time and there were many inner jokes here and there, mostly by her. It went extremely well, like we never had the breakup, except that there was no kissing, she hugged me on the hello and the goodbye, i didnt, just tapped her back like "okay okay", you know what i mean? 10 minutes into conversation she told me to go walk the dogs with her, we were at a good peak but i wanted to have some control so i told her i had stuff to do and left. I told her she could throw away some clothes i had at her house. Since then she has messaged me twice about a tuxedo that i left there, i got it for my dads funeral so i wasnt exactly missing it. I ignored all messages until she told me that we were adults and i didnt need to act like that (ignoring her), then she asked me how i was but told her "im okay thanks, gotta go somewhere" Dont know what to do now.. Link to post Share on other sites
juniorrocha Posted June 24, 2016 Share Posted June 24, 2016 1) How long did your relationship last? 2) What were the reasons for the break up? 3) Did she dump you, did you dump her or was it mutual? Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 What major changes have happened since you broke up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author froker Posted July 1, 2016 Author Share Posted July 1, 2016 (edited) 1) How long did your relationship last? 2) What were the reasons for the break up? 3) Did she dump you, did you dump her or was it mutual? Together for 1 and half years. Long story short: she says she didnt feel appreciated by me, although i love her a lot! Im sometimes not creative when it comes to be romantic. She obviously dumped me. What major changes have happened since you broke up? Define major changes? Update: I went again to her house without notice, we went to the vet with one of her dogs and then we went to dinner and play bowling. We had a great time again, no drama. There was a moment where she wanted to have a talk at her house, at a time between coming back from the vet and the dinner, but didnt feel like it was the moment to talk, we were having a good time. Later before bed she texted me "thanks for showing the city to a foreigner" together with the whatsapp icon of lips kissing and a mouse (we called each other mouse). Since then she rarely initiates contact, but if i do she always replies fast to my messages, and like a said, sometimes it just looks like we never broke up, we keep sending each other silly pictures from internet and keep with our inner jokes. Im going to pop up there today, for the last time, just to have the talk we need. I dont want to be friendzoned, so either i get her back or disappear from her life. Edited July 1, 2016 by froker Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 You do right to avoid the friendzone thing as right now, she is having her cake and eating it. Everything is going her way and at her pace, like you're just doing what you feel is right for her - but what about what is right for you? She left you. If this is going to work again, she needs to come back to you, chasing you, not the other way round. You can walk away saying that you have enough friends and don't see her that way and then vanish for good. If she wants you back, then she knows what she has to do. Hanging around in her life, walking her dog, texting all the time... that's just setting yourself up for friendzone-ville. Link to post Share on other sites
juniorrocha Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 I really think you should have the talk with her. If her needs weren't being met, then maybe a conversation would've solved the issue. See how things go, let her speak, just listen, then say what's on your mind. If you do love her, then suggest what you could do to improve. Link to post Share on other sites
Author froker Posted July 1, 2016 Author Share Posted July 1, 2016 Good news at least for now We spent a good time again, we had the talk,didnt look good... we kept talking about other stuff and the laughing came back.. we were sitting on a park, suddenly she came close and hugged me for a minute, i hugged her back... some time later it was time to say goodbye, before i leave her car she kissed me passionately (i wasnt expecting it) and we are meeting at the beach tomorrow (she asked me to go) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 This does sound promising.....dude, show her some emotion. That's what she is looking for.... Link to post Share on other sites
gaig Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 Make your move now! Before she finds someone else. That "window" is always narrower than we assume.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author froker Posted July 11, 2016 Author Share Posted July 11, 2016 So heres the update. We've been seeing each other since that goodbye kiss, the first days were good. "Second chance sex" and all that. We keep seeing each other, but theres two things i dont like: - No "i love you" yet, well actually one or two times but in a shy way. Im not telling her either until she tells me, otherwise i know her reply would be forced. - I have a feeling that she is being "hot and cold" the last few days. This is what i find most annoying. To be honest, ill try to just be care-free from now on. It works in a way, but for some reason i feel that it wont work and she will dump me again. Link to post Share on other sites
gaig Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 So heres the update. We've been seeing each other since that goodbye kiss, the first days were good. "Second chance sex" and all that. We keep seeing each other, but theres two things i dont like: - No "i love you" yet, well actually one or two times but in a shy way. Im not telling her either until she tells me, otherwise i know her reply would be forced. - I have a feeling that she is being "hot and cold" the last few days. This is what i find most annoying. To be honest, ill try to just be care-free from now on. It works in a way, but for some reason i feel that it wont work and she will dump me again. Sounds like you are continuing the old relationship. The one that ended.. Have a thought about resetting it, starting from the beginning. Do you believe you are ready for that? You could also talk about it with her, sounds like she has her doubts as well. Sometimes a good reset is what's needed the most. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted July 15, 2016 Share Posted July 15, 2016 It's hard not being there, but it really seems like this girl is reaching out and looking for a response especially since she broke up with you feeling underappreciated. You on the other hand have been playing the game with her. Nothing wrong with that, but I really feel you have to change up your tactics. If you are to have any meaningful relationship with her, you have to be honest. Not crying or begging but genuinely how you feel. That you want to work things out and start fresh. Link to post Share on other sites
Emem Posted July 22, 2016 Share Posted July 22, 2016 Exactly what he said. Please be honest, please. i have learned some very hard lessons about this and I think you should be totally open and honest with her. Link to post Share on other sites
silko Posted August 5, 2016 Share Posted August 5, 2016 To be honest, ill try to just be care-free from now on. It works in a way, but for some reason i feel that it wont work and she will dump me again. How is your status now? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
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