Is she cheating on me?

[Iotome]

It's a bit ironic that I've ended up here after my last thread......anyways here is the info.

 

I've been with my girlfriend for a couple of months now. Maybe it's just me being paranoid which I know is a problem in the first few months of dating someone but here are some things I have noticed.

 

1. This is the second start to the weekend in a row I have been cancelled on. We do spend a lot of time together and I'm trying not to think anything bad about it but it's hard. This time it's due to school and last it was being sick. The reason school gets me is that she'll usually do it with me there.

 

2. Another day we didn't get together because she said she was super busy and didn't message me back until later that night. The reason this got to me is because she said she was running errands, but normally she tells me all about her day instead of leaving it at just errands.

 

3. I didn't hear from her one morning and she never ever misses sending me a morning message. I didn't hear from her for about 4 hours and she said she couldn't find her phone. This was the morning after the day she said she was running errands.

 

4. I've noticed she will send me to get small things like a drink or something else. When I come back she is usually on her phone but turns it off right when I see her.

 

Now I really don't want to be that guy. But I hate this feeling I have and was wondering if anyone can offer up any advice. Should I confront her or is this just normal paranoia that will pass?

Edited June 24, 2016 by Iotome

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Has she been emotionally and/or sexually distant?

 

IF SO, shady behavior + odd feeling in gut = Time to investigate. I agree with engima32...I think you have to do a little digging on your own. Don't confront without evidence!

 

Hopefully, it's nothing!

[Poutrew]

If you do find out she is cheating, do not let her know you are aware of it. You break up with her for your own reasons, don't give her the satisfaction or the power. Don't get whiny. Go out with some dignity and your head held high. If you find out she is on the level and not cheating, well, don't tell her what you did, and pray she never figures out your loveshack username....

[smackie9]

Do you have a birthday coming up by any chance???

[Darren Steez]

I don't know man, you kinda come off as needy and insecure, then again you allow this woman to talk to her exes and treat you like this.

 

Honestly whether she's cheating or not is besides the point, let's forget this nonsense about paranoia, why are you "paranoid"? SHE'S TALKING TO HER EXES!

 

Now she cancels dates with you, super finicky with her phone etc etc

 

You say you really don't want to be that guy..what guy is that? The guy who questions stuff when things don't seem right?

 

This relationship seems to be unbalanced. You get to that stage in a relationship where one party doesn't text right away, cancels dates, says they're busy, always on the phone. Unfortunately it's you at the wrong end of that scenerio.

 

To me, ask to see her phone. 1 time deal. She says no, then say goodbye and end it.

 

You're already fighting for her attention and her behavior isn't helping, and this as I said above ends up making you look needy and insecure. And that's a buzzkill that makes woman run to their exes.

[Rainah]

The way she acts is very suspicious, its something to keep a closer eye on, you have no proof though. I don't see a point of keeping in contact with exs, never have. Its difficult to give advice on because you have no proof, its also only been 2 months you have both been seeing each other so sparks might need to take a little time too.

[Alamo657]

[]

 

If your girlfriend is acting shady and is avoiding get together with you, she's up to no good. It's not you, it's her.

 

Now, unless you have any proof, "confrontation" is futile.

 

What you MUST do tho is sit her down and ask her what's wrong, and why she is pulling away from the relationship (don't ask if she's pulling away from you, THAT is insecure). Depending on the answer you'll then have to take a decision.

Edited June 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[enddeck]

How long has her other relationships lasted,maybe she just doesn't want a long term deal.The thing with the phone is a bit of a tell though.In any relationship communication is always the most important thing and you should discuss this with her,also if she refuses to let you see who she has been texting or calling then she is not into this relationship as much as you.Two months isn't very long anyway so maybe if you are getting too emotionally attached it might be better to move on before you get hurt.

[Iotome]

Thanks for the replies so far. She does leave her phone in the open often so I could easily look at it but it also makes me feel like she wouldn't if she had something to hide. She still talks to one ex but I never really ask about it. She has brought up a few conversations with him but nothing recently and he had just gotten out of a relationship the last time she talked about it.

 

I might be a bit needy but so far she has made the advances in most things including getting into a relationship. I'm fine with not spending every day together but when the excuse is errands and leaving it at that there is a little bit of concern.

 

We don't talk as much as we do when we started dating but it's always during work hours, maybe now that we're together there is not as much of the need when she's busy? I don't know but sometimes it will be between 3-4 hours before I hear from her as apposed to when we started dating it would be an hour at most. This doesn't really bother me but maybe some of you have a different opinion.

 

This all being said I haven't brought any of it up to her or acted different in any way. I'm thinking of just letting it play out and if there is anything that really stands out bring it up.

[juniorrocha]

Shady behavior + odd feeling in gut = Time to investigate

 

This, this, this, a million times THIS.

 

My ex use to be just like your girlfriend. When I finally had the chance, I looked up her FB messages and I found out she'd been flirting with other guys.

 

I commited the mistake to continue in the relationship, only to find out later more of these, along with cheating, lies, and other things. I still continued, only to be dumped a few months later.

 

Please, if you do look her phone or anything and you find suspicious stuff, don't fall into any excuse she makes. It's as clear as you see. Don't second guess yourself, don't blame your insecurity, and don't think it's normal because it's not.

 

If you don't find anything, then let things continue and see how it goes. It really sucks to be in a relationship when they're acting like that, but maybe their excuses are actually honest.

[usa1ah]

Just saying, you can not fix what you refuse to talk about. Your choice, stay in limbo or talk with her.

[triple-s]

This, this, this, a million times THIS.

 

 

Let me answer your question . Your gut is telling you something is up ..

Well you know what .. Something is up.

 

 

Why ? I was in the same boat as you. and you wanna check her phone.

 

I did and i found my answer . I was right all along . Best thing i ever done in my life --- why ? cuz id still be chasing her like a peice of garbage, losing my self respect .

 

Girl i was 'supposedly' with for 6months had been sleeping around with another guy at work ... and in my hand was her cell phone that had every conversation she had with him indicating they were banging each other

 

Do it. just realize that when you do ... prepare yourself cuz this will be the end of your relationship.

 

 

I did it because i didnt wanna be jerked around . Its been near a year since but i still hurt from it which is why im here still .. but truth to be told man, your gut will tell you whats up. I did . and i got my answer ...

 

Do what feels right. Integrity comes along way man .

 

No one deserves to be cheated on.

[forumman83]

Bro, i just went through this. Almost exact situation with my gf of 4 months. Always hiding her phone, disappearing for 4-5 hours at a time with no justifiable reason, said her "phone died" or she "couldn't find her phone" all that bs.

 

The whole time, my gut was screaming at me "do not trust this girl."

 

Finally I had had enough and asked if she was confident enough to show me her phone. Surprisingly, she willingly gave it to me. Found the first guy she was texting who was calling her hot and asked if she was single. She responded "I've gone on a few dates". I kept scrolling and it got worse and worse. Then she ripped the phone out of my hand because god only knows what else I would have found (I'm guessing it was bad, real bad).

 

Lol

 

I showed her the door. It was tough because she ACTED like she really liked me during the whole relationship but the whole time I knew she was immature and not trustworthy.

 

Even if this girl likes you, if she is not trustworthy then you CAN'T trust her. You will be filled with anxiety for as long as you remain in a "relationship" with her. Also, she will slowly lose any respect that she has for you because you're actually putting up with this sh*t.

 

Leave and don't look back my friend.