chris71087 Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 ok so me and my gf were together for 1 year and half, I was her longest relationship. she broke up with me 7 weeks ago because she was unhappy and developed feelings for a guy Co worker. anyways I begged and all that and it didn't work so I stopped went NC for a few weeks then she texted asking for so excited things of hers. I brought them to her the next day along with a letter i wrote explaiNing how I feel and what I have worked on changing. today she told me she doesnt know if we will ever get back together so I told her if she doesn't want to then I will respect her choice and stay our of her life. later in the day she texted saying she can't imagine never talking to me again and she didn't want to lose me so I called her and she was crying saying that she regrets leaving for the other guy and she wish she never did and that she is an awful person, that she doesn't want to hurt me anymore and I told her she had to make a decision. she said she knew she had to choose but she was lost and confused of what to do, she also has a 4 year old son who I helped raise while we were together. any advice Link to post Share on other sites
Densel Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 So she is confused. How long is she gonna remain confused, we dont know. I suggest NC untill she tells you she wants to be with you and she left the other guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris71087 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 that's my plan densel Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Go No Contact. If she is still with this other guy, she obviously isn't that confused. She already made her choice. Let her know she should only contact you if and when she wants to reconcile with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris71087 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 expatinitaly that's what I'm doing I told her if she can't decide to just let me go and live my life Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 Funny how dumpers are never confused when they leave and jump into bed with someone else. Seems this "confusion" only comes up when the dumpee stops chasing them and feeding their ego, and starts moving on. The moment the dumpee starts showing attention again, the confusion goes away and they carry on with their other lives. Confusion isn't wanting you back. Wanting you back is wanting you back. Right now, she's more than likely still with this other guy (or maybe a different one) and is just wanting that little ego boost she gets from having her ex still interested in her. You need to go full NC and stop responding everytime she clicks her fingers. Tell her straight and then cut all contact. If she truly wants you back, she'll have to work for it. She left you remember, so she should be the one working to get you back. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 You have zero chance. Move on.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris71087 Posted June 25, 2016 Author Share Posted June 25, 2016 we talked today and she cried again but she said she wants to see where this other relationship goes before just coming back and that she loves this other guy too but they been together 7 weeks that's not love...I told her if she change her mind to call but if not we can't be friends and I hope she makes the right choice Link to post Share on other sites
juniorrocha Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 we talked today and she cried again but she said she wants to see where this other relationship goes before just coming back and that she loves this other guy too but they been together 7 weeks that's not love...I told her if she change her mind to call but if not we can't be friends and I hope she makes the right choice I think she does like you. But she's not sure whether you guys can work or not. I say that yes, she's confused. Confused people don't make good partners. That should be enough for you to get out of this and start moving on. Let her clear her confusion away from you. And if she ever return, then you can decide whether it's worth it or not. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted June 25, 2016 Share Posted June 25, 2016 So predictable. So are you comfortable with her sleeping with some other guy while your still taking her calls and telling her you will wait for her? How does that make you look. And when he dumps her, the story she wull give you is "I realized I wanted you all along" Op please stop this. You look very weak and basically told her to go sow her wild oats and you'd be there to be plan b. Do you want some other guys sloppy seconds. If she had zero contact she MIGHT have had respect for you but either way your arent it for her. She feels guilty so she cries so she doesnt ruin her backup plan if she finds herself alone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris71087 Posted June 26, 2016 Author Share Posted June 26, 2016 no I don't like it but I made it clear I'm not waiting and I'm not a backup she made her choice so I'm moving on and meeting other girls, I love her but if she decides to come back she had alot of work to do to regain my trust. . and this dude woukd never dump her he's one of those guys that are real clingy he would probably never find another gf Link to post Share on other sites
Densel Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 chris, Why did you tell her if she change her mind she could call you? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 I would consider this well and truly over. Continue living your life and meet other people. This girl wasn't The One for you. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 no I don't like it but I made it clear I'm not waiting and I'm not a backup she made her choice so I'm moving on and meeting other girls, I love her but if she decides to come back she had alot of work to do to regain my trust. . and this dude woukd never dump her he's one of those guys that are real clingy he would probably never find another gf Hon, you made it clear your door was open to a second chance and you wont stop communicating with her. Let her think your dead for goodness sake, YOU are clingy. She doesnt deserve a sec chance but if she had one with you, you should have kept it to yourself. Let her miss you, worry, wonder, live with her guilt etc. Be a mystery geez. If youd let go...heal...get busy...you might find she really isnt all that. And...she isnt. What kind of girl starts dating a new guy and reaches out to her ex for ego strokes and strings you along to make sure the bed is warm just in case she needs to come back. Then she will probably be reaching out to him behind YOUR back too. Anndd all the same issues will still be there. It will never be what it was which is why its important to go nc immediately..you could have been so much further in yourbhealing and still had your dignity. Do not take any more calls, texts, emails. Go dark buddy. 5 billion people on the planet. She isnt that special. Link to post Share on other sites
Author chris71087 Posted June 26, 2016 Author Share Posted June 26, 2016 private gal good advice Link to post Share on other sites
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