Author Novalis78 Posted June 28, 2016 Author Share Posted June 28, 2016 So once an azz always an azz. Look at me, I am a big man taking it out on a girl..... You're funny pal, so morally correct and ready to judge anyone Link to post Share on other sites
Author Novalis78 Posted June 28, 2016 Author Share Posted June 28, 2016 Good for you. In the future, you may want to be more selective about whom you start a serious relationship with. Remember that what you put out into the world will always come back to you. Cheating on your wife led to you being cheated on. Time to start being honest with women you are with. Morally I cheated, technically I didn't... With my wife everything ended almost 4 years ago, she was the one refusing sex and I tried everything to save our marriage... Nothing worked. I even told her that I would find another woman for sex if between us wont be sex... That's what happened. Link to post Share on other sites
BettyDraper Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Morally I cheated, technically I didn't... With my wife everything ended almost 4 years ago, she was the one refusing sex and I tried everything to save our marriage... Nothing worked. I even told her that I would find another woman for sex if between us wont be sex... That's what happened. Who cares about technicalities? It doesn't matter if your ex wife refused sex and you responded by telling her that you would sleep with other women. You still made the decision to have sex with women other than your wife while you were married to her. I can't believe that you are still trying to rationalize your actions even though your marriage has ended. It's obvious that you have difficulty taking responsibility for your actions. As for your ex girlfriend, maybe her infidelity occurred to show you how it feels when someone you care about is sleeping with others. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 You're funny pal, so morally correct and ready to judge anyone Not judging you just going with what you said. Heck l am no better then anyone else. With what you have done to your gf and what it sounds like you are planing to do is what I was talking about. Just can not understand way you have it in for gf seeing how it was your own insecurity that caused you to set up the fake account and go after her. You know what was the point. When she refused to meet and f**k you started the sex game with her that she barely paid attention to. You think that's being unfaithful, how hard did you push? You have know her for a few years now, you know her likes and dislikes which gave you the upper hand from the start. Yet she refused the hook up and paid little attention to the game after. Even with your knowledge of her you still were unable to get her to fall. Then you break up with her. Now you said you are not done with her but she won't be a real gf. Along you stringing her along thinking the relationship is good. That is what I meant by what a man to do this to a girl that cars for you. Remember she is the one that didn't want to date others because she was in love with you. Hence the term azz. I think that is kind of soft compaired to what you are doing to her. No judgement just your own actions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Novalis78 Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 Not judging you just going with what you said. Heck l am no better then anyone else. Now you said you are not done with her but she won't be a real gf. . You misinterpreted what I said. She will be in my life and I in hers because we're still friends. We didn't meet with her just to screw, our relationship was more than that and still is... "Dumped her" maybe wasn't the right way to describe what really happened, I just wanted to sleep and close the thread: basically we had a very long conversation and agreed that we both need a fresh start. Also we both agreed that she has trouble drawing limits regarding what can and can't be discussed with a complete stranger (sex, private life, etc), that she has trouble managing attention from the opposite sex (married young with her first sex partner) and that overall she's inexperienced. I do really care about her and I'll try to guide her from a friend's only perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Ok, that is a lot clearer. I hope the best for the two of you. If life has the two of you walking down the road side by side as friends or more, I wish you two the best either way it goes. Link to post Share on other sites
seamos Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 I think I have a boundary for people that try to deceive me into doing something I don't want to do... I think she might do well to have a boundary like that too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Novalis78 Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 Ok, that is a lot clearer. I hope the best for the two of you. If life has the two of you walking down the road side by side as friends or more, I wish you two the best either way it goes. Thanks very much! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Novalis78 Posted June 29, 2016 Author Share Posted June 29, 2016 I think I have a boundary for people that try to deceive me into doing something I don't want to do... I think she might do well to have a boundary like that too. As I said, she's completely unexperienced... didn't have the time to develop her social skills and filters regarding boys. Regarding her filters yesterday she asked me: how to really tell if a question may be crossing the line?? My answer: Think if you would answer that very same question to your dad or mom Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 You're best finding a better woman. She doesn't sound classy at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 As I said, she's completely unexperienced... didn't have the time to develop her social skills and filters regarding boys. Regarding her filters yesterday she asked me: how to really tell if a question may be crossing the line?? My answer: Think if you would answer that very same question to your dad or mom Not really a fair comparison, because it's so far-fetched. I would suggest asking if she would want her SO answering the same question to another person. Apples to apples, if you would. Regardless, I think it's wise for both of you not to be with one another - you're actions were deceptive and manipulative and she appears to be pliable and malleable. Sounds like a recipe for total codependent disaster... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 She basically had chat sex with the other guy while talking to me at the same time... The not cool thing is that on that very same afternoon be both agreed that flirting, cyber sex or exchanging sexy pics with other people was a big no no for both of us... But YOU were doing it too! Just because you were using a fake account doesn't mean you weren't having chat sex under the guise of being strangers. I think it is horrible that you were testing her and lying to you about who you were, based on ZERO evidence that she would cheat. Man - she is going to be better off without you. You need therapy. I think a lot of your fears are manifestations of your own guilty conscience for being a cheater for so long. You assume everyone thinks like you do.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 (edited) Novalis78, many years ago a man I dated did something similar to me. I never had any type of sex with either the man or his "nemesis." When I was with the man the farthest I'd go was to kiss him. But I did communicate with his fake self via email and messaging for a few months. He never knew I was aware he was the person behind the fake account. He always thought he'd pulled one over on me. What it did to me was to destroy my faith in him so that I was never able to trust him. As a result of that I backed out of the relationship. I always hoped that he would own up to what he was doing/had done so that I could trust him. I knew that as long as he was behaving deceptively in this way that he was untrustworthy. I didn't want to call him on it because I knew if he owned up to it because he knew I was aware it was him, I would never be able to trust he'd ever do it (own up to it on his own). So, I just continued on for awhile hoping he would finally tell me. He never did. He'd been a serial cheater in his marriage and I believe because of that he wasn't able to trust anyone. The sad part in your situation is that your dishonesty, not hers, cost you what could have been a wonderful life with a woman you love. I say this because even if she hadn't talked with you on your fake account your dishonesty would have eventually destroyed the relationship. You're not ready for a loving relationship. I suggest counseling. Edited July 1, 2016 by LivingWaterPlease Link to post Share on other sites
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