Why Shy Inexperienced Men Should Consider Dating A Fat Chick

[ZA Dater]

And yes i'm being serious.

 

 

I know this thread will possibility offend some people, but please hear me out and the reason why I think this is potentially a good idea.

 

 

So let's just say you're a shy guy who's not the most attractive person in the world and because of your shyness around women, you've never had a girlfriend before. I think it would be a good idea for you to consider dating a girl who's overweight (or not the most attractive) at least to start out so you can get some experience with dating and here's why.

 

By dating, you get to experience what it's like to be in a relationship, have sex, and most importantly, you get to become a lot more comfortable around women and learn what they're like since you'll be around your girlfriend a lot. Since fat girls tend to be less picky and are often more friendly since they are overlooked by most men, they are much more likely to consider dating you if you give them the time and day.

 

 

You need experience with interacting with women in order to attract them (especially if you're considered not very attractive) and by dating a girl who's not necessarily that physically attractive, you get some experience with simply being around women and talking to them and this can be used someday to may date a girl who's more physically attractive. Sometimes you have to start low before you can build up into something better.

 

 

Your first relationship you get into probably wont be the girl you marry anyways and most likely not going to last for several years. That's why it's important to experiment around and date several people and see what you like and don't like. But it's good to get your foot in the door, and dating someone you're not necessarily physically attracted to can be a good way to do it. And who knows, you might actually really like this girl well enough that it could turn into something more. Also by dating, you will fulfill the loneliness void that often comes with being single, especially if you have been single your whole life.

 

 

Plus if you date a girl who's fat but not too fat, they often have a nice asss because it's trick and curvy. If you ever watch porn, there's some fat but curvy girls with nice bodies and especially a big fat asss.

 

[] I really don't think it's a bad idea to lower your standards a bit if you're starting out in the dating scene and you know you're not going to be attracting these really hot chicks anyways. Sometimes you have to start low and get some experience before you can date better.

 

In the grand scheme of things I haven't been on this forum for a long time however the above it possibly by far the worst advice I have ever read here.

 

 

Do you care to tell me how you get excited by someone you are not attracted to?

 

 

How do you like the idea of being used because all you are doing is using someone here.

 

 

I'd rather have no experience than use someone to gain some. Don't feel too bad because someone has actually given me the same ridiculous advice you have typed above so you aren't alone in your theory. The real question is, if this is so great please tell us about your experiences using people?

 

 

I am not disputing you gain experience I just feel its morally wrong to use someone for that purpose and that purpose alone.

 

 

Lastly, some of us have ambition in life so settling for someone we don't really want will never work for us.

 

 

Once again please tell us how this worked out for you.

[JuneJulySeptember]

if i have said something in my previous posts that offended you in any way than name it . i am woman enough to apologize if i was inappropriate in any way ...

 

I don't. That wasn't the point.

 

The point was that I know different people are sensitive to different things.

 

I might have said the wrong thing, but I was just trying to be helpful to other guys. Those things are literally the common denominator between women I have dated. And I don't see any of them as negatives. Do you?

 

When you accuse me of seeing women as objects, it's not just something I laugh off. I have a girlfriend and I like her and respect her a lot.

 

Just for the record, I also consider myself on the fringe of society. And I am proud of it.

Edited June 26, 2016 by JuneJulySeptember

[ChocolateRain]

I don't. That wasn't the point.

 

The point was that I know different people are sensitive to different things.

 

I might have said the wrong thing, but I was just trying to be helpful to other guys. Those things are literally the common denominator between women I have dated. And I don't see any of them as negatives.

 

When you accuse me of being a male pig, it's not just something I laugh off. I have a girlfriend and I like her and respect her a lot.

 

There were always shallow people who had asked me in the past why i date ugly men and that i could have done better ...

 

i found that very offensive !!! i never have chosen my partners for the looks of course they had to have something appealing to me .

 

i for a chance , love to date a bit bigger man . i never cared too much for beauty . it has to be the way he smiles or the way his eyes shine or even the way he sounds when he speaks ... i care for things like that

 

my ex fiancee always asked me what i saw in him as he called himself fat and ugly ...but i saw my whole world in him i just loved him , it was not about looks ...that is just superficial imho

[ZA Dater]

Well I think JuneJulySeptember is right.

 

You should go for girls whom are less likely to reject you and you stand a better chance with.

 

Because let's face it, you're probably not going to stand a chance with a bunch of sorority girls if you're not a super buff frat boy and dislikes partying and getting wasted.

 

I used to think exactly like this.

 

 

You cant bring logic into this because dating isn't logical at all. The fact is your chances are probably as good as any other guys chances its just some people have better skills, better personalities which allow them to interact better with ladies, allow them to connect better.

 

 

You cant play the game of oh I will more than likely have success with her because she is ABC.

 

 

The one time where that can be true is if you are willing and able to spend big, yes then you can change the odds to an extent but again that's not always a certainty, nor should you ever do this.

 

 

To be honest you sound like you are in a very bad space, a space I was in and fall back into from time to time, you cant sit and reduce things to logic, if you aren't having success then move onto something else to keep your mind busy.

 

 

Look at why you aren't having success but never date down, its like trying to like something you don't, no matter what you wont ever like it.

 

 

Find out what you like, what you want and then see what you are actually capable of giving intellectually, how much are you prepared to compromise along the way.

 

 

My lack of success keeps me awake probably 4 out of 7 nights but you learn to live with it, either you live with it or you try to change it if you know how. I'd encourage you to find some happy medium somehow, even if its just a female friend, its a heck of a lot better than nothing. I cant have what I want but I can through a friend have 50% of what I want and that's a heck of a lot better than nothing at all.

[GoodOnPaper]

The specifics are detracting from the premise

 

Is this what this thread is about? Practicing where you perceive less chance of rejection?

 

I agree that this is what the thread is really about, putting aside the OP's paranoia about how a man is viewed if he dates an overweight woman.

 

Personally, I advocate "practice" for struggling guys. You will never find "the one" if you can't get a date and at least learn the basics about how things work at the early stages. I can't imagine trying this with someone who you have absolutely no attraction to, so I don't consider this to be as devious as what it is being painted as by some posters.

 

I also find it interesting that this idea seems shocking and offensive when a lot of men "practice" this way all the time . . . the players. Does being successful at getting ONSs and FWBs give them a free pass? Are struggling guys really supposed to go dateless for years until "the one" comes along? All that while, their continued inexperience makes them less and less desirable at that crucial attraction/meeting stage.

[losangelena]

I agree that this is what the thread is really about, putting aside the OP's paranoia about how a man is viewed if he dates an overweight woman.

 

Personally, I advocate "practice" for struggling guys. You will never find "the one" if you can't get a date and at least learn the basics about how things work at the early stages. I can't imagine trying this with someone who you have absolutely no attraction to, so I don't consider this to be as devious as what it is being painted as by some posters.

 

I also find it interesting that this idea seems shocking and offensive when a lot of men "practice" this way all the time . . . the players. Does being successful at getting ONSs and FWBs give them a free pass? Are struggling guys really supposed to go dateless for years until "the one" comes along? All that while, their continued inexperience makes them less and less desirable at that crucial attraction/meeting stage.

 

That's all fine and good, but for OP to single out "fat chicks" as the solution is a no-go. That's offensive. That's saying that not only do fat women have low standards, or that they're easy prey, but that one "kind" of woman is better than another, or that just because a woman is overweight she is of lower value so it doesn't matter if the guy she's with is just "practicing," she doesn't deserve to be with a man who truly and fully loves her, anyway. It's fine to use her for utility's sake.

[normal person]

You should go for girls whom are less likely to reject you and you stand a better chance with.

 

Or, you could just focus on not being so objectionable to the opposite sex and go out with someone you have a mutual attraction with.

 

Because let's face it, you're probably not going to stand a chance with a bunch of sorority girls if you're not a super buff frat boy and dislikes partying and getting wasted.

 

Not in my experience. I went to a big school (a respectable one but frequently ranked amongst the best "party" schools) with a ton of Greek life. I loathe fraternities. I've never been tall or overwhelmingly musclebound. I don't "party" (in the drug-taking sense of the word) and I'm pretty sensible with alcohol. If we're generalizing, I found sorority girls were just as sexually liberal (oftentimes more so) than any other girl not in the Greek system. Meaning they seemed as, if not more willing to be promiscuous with me than others. College aged women in general are pretty open to a lot of things, including sex with guys they barely know, and are less concerned with the consequences that they might be as they get older. I think your odds of meeting a girl you like who also likes, or at least tolerates, you are pretty decent if you're not a total deviant moron.

 

I think your chances of "success" (our definitions of this will probably differ) would be better if you raised yourself to the standard of women that appeal to you rather than try and deceive some other girl you don't like or use her as a stepping stone. If you can manage to become a respectable human being, you won't have to resort to this kind of garbage and society will be better off for it.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well I think JuneJulySeptember is right.

 

You should go for girls whom are less likely to reject you and you stand a better chance with.

 

Because let's face it, you're probably not going to stand a chance with a bunch of sorority girls if you're not a super buff frat boy and dislikes partying and getting wasted.

 

Just go for women that you like something about.

 

I never specifically went for women who were foreign or who had deadbeat fathers, it just ended up that way.

 

I'm just trying to compile empirical results and theorize as to why those women liked me.

 

At the end of the day ... the less you think about dating AND life as a hierarchy, the better off you'll be.

[elaine567]

So let's just say you're a shy girl who's not the most attractive person in the world and because of your shyness around men, you've never had a boyfriend before. I think it would be a good idea for you to consider dating a guy who's overweight (or not the most attractive) at least to start out so you can get some experience with dating and here's why.

 

By dating, you get to experience what it's like to be in a relationship, have sex, and most importantly, you get to become a lot more comfortable around men and learn what they're like since you'll be around your boyfriend a lot. Since fat guys tend to be less picky and are often more friendly since they are overlooked by most women, they are much more likely to consider dating you if you give them the time and day.

 

Girls, give those fat guys a chance, if you need the practice...

[stillafool]

 

 

I also find it interesting that this idea seems shocking and offensive when a lot of men "practice" this way all the time . . . the players. Does being successful at getting ONSs and FWBs give them a free pass? Are struggling guys really supposed to go dateless for years until "the one" comes along? All that while, their continued inexperience makes them less and less desirable at that crucial attraction/meeting stage.

 

The difference is Players date women they are physically attracted to and the women are physically attracted to them.

[BlueIris]

I agree that this is what the thread is really about, putting aside the OP's paranoia about how a man is viewed if he dates an overweight woman.

 

Personally, I advocate "practice" for struggling guys. You will never find "the one" if you can't get a date and at least learn the basics about how things work at the early stages. I can't imagine trying this with someone who you have absolutely no attraction to, so I don't consider this to be as devious as what it is being painted as by some posters.

 

I also find it interesting that this idea seems shocking and offensive when a lot of men "practice" this way all the time . . . the players. Does being successful at getting ONSs and FWBs give them a free pass? Are struggling guys really supposed to go dateless for years until "the one" comes along? All that while, their continued inexperience makes them less and less desirable at that crucial attraction/meeting stage.

 

Yeah, maybe devious is the right word. But I think that oblivious is just as often the issue especially if they don’t realize that their thinking is repulsive to quite a few women.

 

Often people who assess solely by physical appearance don't or can't comprehend that other people use other measures. Someone's thinking, attitude, is as crucial a factor as looks to many women- more crucial for many women.

 

However, some women will make the same kind of internal calculation that OP is making and will "settle" temporarily or tolerate something unappealing to get something else out of it, like: "eh, his thinking is ____, but maybe he’s ok for a little while. I have to get a bunch of heavy stuff moved, and my new printer isn't working right, so maybe he'll do a while."

 

So it is possible that it could increase his odds of getting a date or GF somewhat. A lot of women won't date him so it certainly isn't going to increase his chances in a big way, but some will date a guy who thinks that way so she can get some side benefits if there’s a pressing need.

Edited June 26, 2016 by BlueIris

[Dark Horse]

Yeah, maybe devious is the right word. But I think that oblivious is just as often the issue especially if they don’t realize that their thinking is repulsive to quite a few women.

 

Often people who assess solely by physical appearance don't or can't comprehend that other people use other measures. Someone's thinking, attitude, is as crucial a factor as looks to many women- more crucial for many women.

 

However, some women will make the same kind of internal calculation that OP is making and will "settle" temporarily or tolerate something unappealing to get something else out of it, like: "eh, his thinking is ____, but maybe he’s ok for a little while. I have to get a bunch of heavy stuff moved, and my new printer isn't working right, so maybe he'll do a while."

 

So it is possible that it could increase his odds of getting a date or GF somewhat. A lot of women won't date him so it certainly isn't going to increase his chances in a big way, but some will date a guy who thinks that way so she can get some side benefits if there’s a pressing need.

 

 

Women are attracted to confidence and you gain confidence by getting experience with women and you gain experience with women by talking to them.

 

You also gain relationship experience by being in a relationship which will help you understand women better and get more comfortable around them.

 

 

So I really don't see a problem with getting experience with women to increase your confidence so that you can attract more women whom you're more likely to be physically and personality compatible with.

[losangelena]

So I really don't see a problem with getting experience with women to increase your confidence so that you can attract more women whom you're more likely to be physically and personality compatible with.

 

Of course experience begets confidence, no one refutes that. But please, you don't need some specialty Fat Chick™ starter kit.

[juniorrocha]

So I really don't see a problem with getting experience with women to increase your confidence so that you can attract more women whom you're more likely to be physically and personality compatible with.

 

Getting experience is completely different from using someone emotionally so you can improve your dating skills.

 

If you want experience, then you should do it with someone you're into, instead of using a girl for your own benefits. That's lame.

[BlueIris]

Women are attracted to confidence and you gain confidence by getting experience with women and you gain experience with women by talking to them.

 

You also gain relationship experience by being in a relationship which will help you understand women better and get more comfortable around them.

 

 

So I really don't see a problem with getting experience with women to increase your confidence so that you can attract more women whom you're more likely to be physically and personality compatible with.

Yes, I know you don’t.

 

I’m just saying that your thinking is itself a factor for many women and that we women encounter that thinking so much that we recognize it quite soon.

 

You might have more luck than you’re currently having, but I know that not all women that you consider fat are going to now be available to you for these reasons:

 

~~ Some will reject you for your thinking/attitude.

 

~~ Some might date you just to have sex themselves, i.e. they don’t care how you think or anything else.

 

~~ Some might see dating someone who thinks the way you’re thinking as settling too. So, just like you, they'll weigh and balance what other possible benefits they might get out of dating you.

 

So my point is that while it might increase your chances somewhat, it probably won’t be a very significant increase.

[ZA Dater]

Women are attracted to confidence and you gain confidence by getting experience with women and you gain experience with women by talking to them.

 

You also gain relationship experience by being in a relationship which will help you understand women better and get more comfortable around them.

 

 

So I really don't see a problem with getting experience with women to increase your confidence so that you can attract more women whom you're more likely to be physically and personality compatible with.

 

 

How does your confidence improve by dating someone you don't realty want to date?

[BlueIris]

How does your confidence improve by dating someone you don't realty want to date?

 

Or who is as unimpressed or disdainful as he is?

 

Imagine dating someone that you consider lower than you and that person breaks up with you. That's gotta sting.

[xxoo]

I do think it is common for people to start dating where they find interest, and move toward stronger attraction and attachments with experience.

 

The odd part is singling out "fat chicks" for experience.

[MGX]

How does your confidence improve by dating someone you don't realty want to date?

 

I guess he would be a lot less nervous and shy over a woman that he isn't really attracted to. Hence, the "practice" part of this idea.

 

But would this really prepare you for being sociable to someone who's extremely attractive? I think anyone can act perfectly fine with someone that they aren't attracted to.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Women are attracted to confidence and you gain confidence by getting experience with women and you gain experience with women by talking to them.

 

You also gain relationship experience by being in a relationship which will help you understand women better and get more comfortable around them.

 

 

So I really don't see a problem with getting experience with women to increase your confidence so that you can attract more women whom you're more likely to be physically and personality compatible with.

 

You might be surprised, but most of my friends did not end up with the best looking and most socially charismatic woman they date.

 

It doesn't quite work exactly like that.

 

I would say the most valuable experience you gain is sexually. If you have never dated a woman before, it will apparent in bed. But the other stuff...

 

I mean, yea, as you gain more experience you learn to not say or do silly, unintentional things but most (good) women won't let that decide which man they pick.

[ZA Dater]

If you have never dated a woman before, it will apparent in bed. But the other stuff...

 

Hence so many of us want to date but the above is sometimes a reason I use when I not sleeping, I tell myself it would be a disaster so I am not missing anything.

[elaine567]

Hence so many of us want to date but the above is sometimes a reason I use when I not sleeping, I tell myself it would be a disaster so I am not missing anything.

 

Why would it necessarily be "a disaster"?

[SwordofFlame]

If you're going to "practice", practice on the most attractive women you can get. It may very well be a fat chick, but it may not. I don't know what kind of shape you're in, but you may be surprised to learn that fat chicks won't often date a guy who's in shape because of having low confidence themselves. I believe okcupid did a study and that while men often have success dating down to an extent, but if they date too far down, they actually don't have as much success.

[ZA Dater]

Why would it necessarily be "a disaster"?

 

Because inexperience at anything is shunned, especially past a certain age and I am sure I and other would rather not have to go through that enormity of awkwardness.

[ZA Dater]

If you're going to "practice", practice on the most attractive women you can get. It may very well be a fat chick, but it may not. I don't know what kind of shape you're in, but you may be surprised to learn that fat chicks won't often date a guy who's in shape because of having low confidence themselves. I believe okcupid did a study and that while men often have success dating down to an extent, but if they date too far down, they actually don't have as much success.

 

 

+1 to this, in life not matter what it is, try to be the best you can and get the best you can, you will find "oh that will do" wont make you very happy at all.