Why Shy Inexperienced Men Should Consider Dating A Fat Chick

[Revolver]

The shy, inexperienced have a dilemma. Should he be picky and end up with nothing? Should he not be picky at all, which still might not be enough?

Being not picky shouldn't mean fat girls because different men desire different women. Being not picky is taking what he can get. If a man goes years between dates it's very tough to turn someone down.

No one really has a good answer and I don't know either.

 

Think of it like the job market. Nobody starts out at 50 dollars an hour. You start working crappy low wage jobs which gives you the experience to apply for better paying jobs. Now that I think about it I'm gonna try what the OP is saying, I have nothing to lose at this point

[Jabron1]

Yet, I'm getting brow beaten for "being a sober, orbiter than getting laid drunk" kind of person.

 

Mate, judge and be judged.

 

I didn't start on you until you tried to frame what I've done as 'desperate' (lol) for no good reason.

 

There have now been so many reframes that I lost the care to address them. What is it? Desperate, narcissist, insecure, salesman, blah blah. Each to their own ego.

 

I question the reason why he would even make this thread, rather than just get on with it. He should answer that question, in my opinion.

[Ensam]

It's because a lot of men judge them harshly. The same with women judging short men. The list goes on. It's not fair but it's there.

 

That's true. I'm just saying it's strange imo.

[BlueIris]

Think of it like the job market. Nobody starts out at 50 dollars an hour. You start working crappy low wage jobs which gives you the experience to apply for better paying jobs. Now that I think about it I'm gonna try what the OP is saying, I have nothing to lose at this point

 

I agree with the analogy but would say that experience is a process for acquiring skills to reach your goal. Your goal determines what skills you choose to develop.

 

The shy, inexperienced have a dilemma. Should he be picky and end up with nothing? Should he not be picky at all, which still might not be enough?

Being not picky shouldn't mean fat girls because different men desire different women. Being not picky is taking what he can get. If a man goes years between dates it's very tough to turn someone down.

No one really has a good answer and I don't know either.

 

What’s your goal? To get laid or to have a mutually fulfilling relationship? Long term or short term? Your goal determines what you do. Until you pin down what your goal is, you’re lost.

[NTV]

I don't see a problem here.

 

 

There is nothing wrong with a man being shy or inexperienced if that is his choice and he is comfortable with himself.

 

 

There's nothing wrong with being willing to date an underweight, normal weight or overweight woman to combat the inexperienced, if a man finds that his inexperience is impacting his confidence or self-esteem. There is nothing wrong with a shy or inexperienced woman doing the same thing.

 

 

Truly there is only one way to combat inexperience. Whether searching for an experience will truly help or hurt your self-esteem and/or confidence is an entirely different.

[MGX]

I don't see a problem here.

 

 

There is nothing wrong with a man being shy or inexperienced if that is his choice and he is comfortable with himself.

 

 

There's nothing wrong with being willing to date an underweight, normal weight or overweight woman to combat the inexperienced, if a man finds that his inexperience is impacting his confidence or self-esteem. There is nothing wrong with a shy or inexperienced woman doing the same thing.

 

 

Truly there is only one way to combat inexperience. Whether searching for an experience will truly help or hurt your self-esteem and/or confidence is an entirely different.

 

This isn't two painfully shy people banging.

 

The problem is that the guy getting experience is at the expense of HER self-esteem. He's taking advantage of someone with low self-esteem.

 

This isn't FWB or some mutual arrangement between sex partners. There's no equality here. Just a weak person preying upon an even weaker person.

[PrettyEmily77]

This isn't two painfully shy people banging.

 

The problem is that the guy getting experience is at the expense of HER self-esteem. He's taking advantage of someone with low self-esteem.

 

This isn't FWB or some mutual arrangement between sex partners. There's no equality here. Just a weak person preying upon an even weaker person.

 

No, he thinks he would be taking advantage of someone he assumes to be having self-esteem issues, which in turn would potentially help him raise his self-esteem, which is even worse (not sure what the girl gets in the bargain, but whatever).

 

This whole thread hinges very heavily on the not cool spectrum, to be honest and no, it's not comparable to short men stuff.

Edited June 29, 2016 by PrettyEmily77

[King Me]

You've never been drunk at the end of a night out, and slept with someone that you normally wouldn't?

I have. I felt like crap the next day as well. I certainly wouldn't go about boasting about it and using it as an example of my "manhood" on a message board. That's actually bordering on the pathetic, dude.

[King Me]

Well, I don't think having a one-night-stand w someone you're not attracted to is necessarily "using" someone. Or rather, she may very well be "using" the guy as well.

 

Women aren't these naive and fragile flowers. They know what's up, and they like sex as much as we do. If she hooks up w a guy she just met from a party or the bar, she probably knows it's just a hookup too.

 

But this thread is not about recreational sex. It's about a guy using someone that he believe feels bad about themselves in order to boost his ego.

 

I am scratching my head that there is a single grown man on this thread supporting this, and I have to say I am halfway between offended and laughing that some think this is a part of "manhood." Not in my world. That's enough out of me on the subject.

[Dark Horse]

I'm basically just a hopeless romantic shy guy who has pretty much 0 experience with women and just wants to experience love, sex, and intimacy.

 

To be honest, I don't even know what I want relationship wise. All I know is that I just want experience with women because that's been something iv'e wanted my whole life!

 

I'm tired of being alone and single while it seems like every female and half of guys are out getting 1-night stands and having casual sex and getting dates like's its nothing. It pisses me off, it's not that i'm angry at those getting sex. I'm angry at myself because I feel like im missing out and it's painful for me emotionally.

 

 

The only difference is that no matter how many times I cry at night or wish a decently attractive girl would strike a conversation and be interested, I have to do all of the work and risk rejection every step of the way or I will be alone! All because I wasn't born an extremely hot guy or a female who's in her twenties. And don't give me that men and women have it just as hard in dating bullsht. I want to see how many young attractive females get hit on by guys, how many tinder matches and messages she gets, how many guys who are willing to bust their asss to try to get her to like him if she complains about being lonely and horny. Most guys don't have that luxury.

 

Dating is truely harder for some people, especially for men.

 

Even average and below-average folk want love and want to have sex too.

 

 

 

Sorry you guys caught me in a bad mood today.

Edited June 29, 2016 by Dark Horse

[PrettyEmily77]

I'm basically just a hopeless romantic shy guy who has pretty much 0 experience with women and just wants to experience love, sex, and intimacy.

 

To be honest, I don't even know what I want relationship wise. All I know is that I just want experience with women because that's been something iv'e wanted my whole life!

 

I'm tired of being alone and single while it seems like every female and half of guys are out getting 1-night stands and having casual sex and getting dates like's its nothing. It pisses me off, it's not that i'm angry at those getting sex. I'm angry at myself because I feel like im missing out and it's painful for me emotionally.

 

 

The only difference is that no matter how many times I cry at night or wish a decently attractive girl would strike a conversation and be interested, I have to do all of the work and risk rejection every step of the way or I will be alone! All because I wasn't born an extremely hot guy or a female who's in her twenties. And don't give me that men and women have it just as hard in dating bullsht. I want to see how many young attractive females get hit on by guys, how many tinder matches and messages she gets, how many guys who are willing to bust their asss to try to get her to like him if she complains about being lonely and horny. Most guys don't have that luxury.

 

Dating is truely harder for some people, especially for men.

 

Even average and below-average folk want love and want to have sex too.

 

 

Sorry dude, but nothing in that self-pitying tirade reads 'hopeless romantic'.

 

So you are frustrated, fair enough.

 

Firstly, you need to figure out what you're looking for because casual sex isn't the same thing as one-night stand, which isn't the same thing as a date, which isn't even the same thing as looking for a long-term thing - so which is it that you want? If all, you're in a pickle / not mature enough to handle any of it.

 

Pick what you want and work from there - 'feeling like you're missing out' doesn't sound like a motivating plan to me...

[Ensam]

I'm basically just a hopeless romantic shy guy who has pretty much 0 experience with women and just wants to experience love, sex, and intimacy.

 

To be honest, I don't even know what I want relationship wise. All I know is that I just want experience with women because that's been something iv'e wanted my whole life!

 

I'm tired of being alone and single while it seems like every female and half of guys are out getting 1-night stands and having casual sex and getting dates like's its nothing. It pisses me off, it's not that i'm angry at those getting sex. I'm angry at myself because I feel like im missing out and it's painful for me emotionally.

 

 

The only difference is that no matter how many times I cry at night or wish a decently attractive girl would strike a conversation and be interested, I have to do all of the work and risk rejection every step of the way or I will be alone! All because I wasn't born an extremely hot guy or a female who's in her twenties. And don't give me that men and women have it just as hard in dating bullsht. I want to see how many young attractive females get hit on by guys, how many tinder matches and messages she gets, how many guys who are willing to bust their asss to try to get her to like him if she complains about being lonely and horny. Most guys don't have that luxury.

 

Dating is truely harder for some people, especially for men.

 

Even average and below-average folk want love and want to have sex too.

 

I think it all depends on what you're looking for. It's no secret women generally speaking have more men hitting on them and easier to get sex than what men does. Finding someone to love however is a completely different matter and I don't really think they are at any advantage there.

 

If your main concern is getting to experience dating and sex then go out and date whomever you want to. Just don't lead people on thinking they actually mean anything to you.

[jen1447]

And don't give me that men and women have it just as hard in dating bullsht.

 

What about those fat chicks you were planning to objectify?

[tojaz]

 

Even average and below-average folk want love and want to have sex too.

So which is it, love or just sex? If it's just sex, that's not hard to find, get on tinder or craigslist or whatever and find someone in the same boat as you and have at it until your arms give out!

I'm basically just a hopeless romantic

 

But if it's love and romance. Say as a hopeless romantic, you met the woman of your dreams, the one that checked all your boxes, your heart skips a beat every time you see her, the one you can't wait to introduce to your mom.

 

A month later she cuts and runs after finding her prince, but kindly thanks you for all the "experience" that helped her land him. Would you be cool with that and run out and buy them a wedding gift?

 

I doubt it, because you'd be crushed and mad as hell. You'd be right to be, there's nothing worse then selfishly toying with someones emotions. It does damage and leaves scars. Would you be willing to put yourself through that? Would you be willing to be responsible for doing that to someone else?

 

TOJAZ

[BlueIris]

Earlier you posted that porn was the only girlfriend you’ve ever had. (But then you deleted that part. posts 152, 153)

 

Watch this video:

Gary's TEDx talk - "The Great Porn Experiment" | Your Brain On Porn

As you see, the problems and deficits that you’re complaining about are what the men in the video were complaining of. After they quit, their lives changed in the same ways that you say you want your life to change. Some men here on LS who have quit have said the same things said in the video.

 

Rather than blaming the universe, quit porn for the amount recommended in the video and see if there's change.

[GoodOnPaper]

If you are a guy who is struggling and inexperienced, don't you have to go for relationships to have a shot at any attention and intimacy? If you have any physical or charismatic imperfections, I'd think you'd be dead in the water as far as more casual arrangements go.

[Leigh 87]

So you believe that just because YOU don't find a woman to be " very attractive", that she must have no options.

 

Allright then.

[Dark Horse]

Earlier you posted that porn was the only girlfriend you’ve ever had. (But then you deleted that part. posts 152, 153)

 

Watch this video:

Gary's TEDx talk - "The Great Porn Experiment" | Your Brain On Porn

As you see, the problems and deficits that you’re complaining about are what the men in the video were complaining of. After they quit, their lives changed in the same ways that you say you want your life to change. Some men here on LS who have quit have said the same things said in the video.

 

Rather than blaming the universe, quit porn for the amount recommended in the video and see if there's change.

 

 

Easier said than done my friend. From the moment I watched my first porno at 18 in October of 2013, I was immediately hooked.

 

Hundreds of times I have tried to quit, hundreds of times I have failed. Now I can't even go a week without it.

 

I will try again in July, i'm slowly building myself up.

[anika99]

If you are a guy who is struggling and inexperienced, don't you have to go for relationships to have a shot at any attention and intimacy? If you have any physical or charismatic imperfections, I'd think you'd be dead in the water as far as more casual arrangements go.

 

 

Yes I agree with you. People who have a hard time getting dates yet won't accept anyone who doesn't don't have the face of a model and the body of a centerfold would probably do well to lower their standards otherwise they will be single forever. There is nothing wrong with casting a wider net in the hopes of finding a catch, but one can do that with an open heart and mind and with good intentions. Sometimes a person can date someone who they normally wouldn't and there will be a spark or some chemistry they weren't expecting and if their heart is open to the possibilities it could turn into a real love and lead to a serious relationship. That would be great!

 

 

But the OP isn't looking at it like that, he isn't saying to himself, Hey I'll ask out this fat girl I know because she is sweet and kind of cute and you never know what could develop between us, maybe we'll click together. He's saying to himself,"hey I'm going to start asking out fat chicks, use them for practice and then I'm going to ditch them because I really don't like fat chicks". Fat chicks don't want to be used for practice. The only way they will date the OP is if he makes them think he really likes them and finds them attractive all the while knowing that he finds them unattractive and knowing that he has no intentions of anything beyond using them. That is cruel and disgusting.

[scorpiogirl]

Easier said than done my friend. From the moment I watched my first porno at 18 in October of 2013, I was immediately hooked.

 

Hundreds of times I have tried to quit, hundreds of times I have failed. Now I can't even go a week without it.

 

I will try again in July, i'm slowly building myself up.

 

In your own words this is you:

 

Short

Unattractive

Virgin

Aspergers

Desperate

Lonely and horny

Addicted to porn

Obsessed with girls since kindergarten

 

And your want to inflict all this unhealthiness on a "fat chick". On behalf of fat chicks, no thanks. Seriously, no thanks.

Edited June 30, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Dark Horse]

You sound like such a prize. In your own words this is you:

 

Short

Unattractive

Virgin

Aspergers

Desperate

Lonely and horny

Addicted to porn

Obsessed with girls since kindergarten

 

And your want to inflict all this unhealthiness on a "fat chick". On behalf of fat chicks, no thanks. Seriously, no thanks.

 

 

I came here to express my feelings in what I thought was a safe place, not to be insulted. I already learned my lesson not to date a girl i'm not attracted to.

Edited June 30, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language ~T

[William]

With that, I think this thread has run it's course. Thanks to everyone who replied respectfully and on topic. ~Thank you

 

 

Edited by original William to add that you berate thread starters, or any other member of this forum, at your own peril.

Edited June 30, 2016 by William