Why Shy Inexperienced Men Should Consider Dating A Fat Chick

[GunslingerRoland]

Everything about the premise of this thread is offensive to be honest.

 

 

The whole concept that you should go after women that you see as being desperate to try and get comfortable is horrible, but you can take that further and really the idea is to numb yourself to the idea of women as individuals to the point where you're just seeing them as a walking vagina that you know how to prey on.

[Dark Horse]

I can't stop till I find love, a partner, a friend, a lover, a companion.

 

Iv'e been chasing it my whole life, my hunger drives me. I'm starving and I can't take it anymore. I'm forcing myself to face my fears and the pain of rejection because the pain of loneliness is too great to simply ignore.

 

 

 

Iv'e been talking to this girl on Tinder since early this month but the problem is that she's gone for the summer and will be back in the middle of August so i'm hoping I can maintain the conversation and then meet up with her when she gets back. It's been going great so far.

 

Yes i'm THAT desperate. I don't get a ton of matches anyways.

Edited June 29, 2016 by Dark Horse

[BlueIris]

I can't stop till I find love, a partner, a friend, a lover, a companion.

 

Iv'e been chasing it my whole life, my hunger drives me. I'm starving and I can't take it anymore. I'm forcing myself to face my fears and the pain of rejection because the pain of loneliness is too great to simply ignore.

 

Porn is the only girlfriend iv'e ever had. It fufill my sexual needs but cant take away the pain of loneliness.

 

I have no choice, I have to keep searching.

 

Your premise was not about love, a partner, a friend, etc. You proposed using people that you view as lesser for practice until you could get someone better. I wish I could remember who said it, but someone here said that you can't find love until you love. Love isn't a commodity. It's something that people do- they love. Porn may get you off but it isn't about love or relationship or closeness.

[joystickd]

[] Your suggestion is to emotionally use a girl who's already weak in that department just so YOU can get better at knowing women, and then find someone who you're actually attracted to.

 

[]

 

It's no different that women friend zoning men and using them to fulfill their emotional needs. Its a means to an end. We all as humans do something for a specific purpose

[joystickd]

Your premise was not about love, a partner, a friend, etc. You proposed using people that you view as lesser for practice until you could get someone better. I wish I could remember who said it, but someone here said that you can't find love until you love. Love isn't a commodity. It's something that people do- they love. Porn may get you off but it isn't about love or relationship or closeness.

 

It's not love they are looking for but experience. No matter how much you love it's a problem if you lack experience

[BlueIris]

It's not love they are looking for but experience. No matter how much you love it's a problem if you lack experience

 

Perhaps. But I've found that love and caring are so much better and so forgiving. Experience isn't much more than a bag of tricks.

 

ETA: ... and callousness is hard to overcome.

Edited June 29, 2016 by BlueIris

[Jabron1]

It's no different that women friend zoning men and using them to fulfill their emotional needs. Its a means to an end. We all as humans do something for a specific purpose

 

Everyone in this game is looking to get their needs met. Some are just more self-righteous about it than others.

 

There seem to be two main objections to this thread:

 

1. Big girls aren't easier to pull:

Anyone with any life experience knows that they are. And if he gets off his backside, he'll find out for himself.

 

2. Pulling them would be 'evil':

I don't think it's 'evil' to take a girl out for some fun.

 

People seem to be ignoring the fact that he'll have to be providing some sort of value to her life also, in order for any woman to give him the time of day.

Edited June 29, 2016 by Jabron1

[SammySammy]

It's just lame and weak.

 

That's like beating up the quiet guy who doesn't bother anybody then acting like you're a tough guy. When you're scared to death of the guy that busted you in the mouth last weekend. Won't say nothing to him. Why? Because you're not really tough.

 

In the end, manhood is about having character and integrity. We don't use people because they are easy or a means to an end.

 

We man up and do what needs to be done. Address our fears. Develop our weaknesses until they turn into strengths.

[todreaminblue]

It's just lame and weak.

 

That's like beating up the quiet guy who doesn't bother anybody then acting like you're a tough guy. When you're scared to death of the guy that busted you in the mouth last weekend. Won't say nothing to him. Why? Because you're not really tough.

 

In the end, manhood is about having character and integrity. We don't use people because they are easy or a means to an end.

 

We man up and do what needs to be done. Address our fears. Develop our weaknesses until they turn into strengths.

 

amen...integrity is not solely a man thing either....all people should have integrity and honesty in relationships new or old.......and only good intentions towards others....not to use them for any reason......especially in regards to matters of the heart.....deb

[Jabron1]

That's like beating up the quiet guy who doesn't bother anybody then acting like you're a tough guy. When you're scared to death of the guy that busted you in the mouth last weekend. Won't say nothing to him. Why? Because you're not really tough.

 

That's a false analogy that veers off into nonsense from the first sentence.

 

In the end, manhood is about having character and integrity.

 

No, it really isn't.

 

That does make you useful to other people though. Manhood = good tool.

 

We man up and do what needs to be done. Address our fears. Develop our weaknesses until they turn into strengths.

 

You've never consciously 'dated down' to scratch an itch?

 

No drunk and last call at closing time moment? No rebounds? No barren spell? etc etc.

[SammySammy]

That's a false analogy that veers off into nonsense from the first sentence.

 

No, it really isn't.

 

That does make you useful to other people though. Manhood = good tool.

 

You've never consciously 'dated down' to scratch an itch?

 

No drunk and last call at closing time moment? No rebounds? No barren spell? etc etc.

 

I'm disappointed to be having this conversation with you. Of all people, you should know better.

 

Manhood is not a tool. Manhood is the only thing true womanhood respects. Manhood is really what these guys you're misleading need. It's what will make them gather their courage and take the actions necessary to achieve the results they desire. Even if he's not good at it, a good woman can see that and give him a chance. Because he's showing ... manhood.

 

You all are constantly talking about "Alpha" males. Alpha males don't take advantage of people. Alpha males protect and defend. The group respects him because of that. The best women are drawn to him because of that.

 

The one running around trying to knock off "lesser" females is not Alpha. Never will be. That's some beta male stuff.

 

If that's what y'all want to be, so be it. If you really know game the way you say you do, then you know there's rules and regulations to the game. Those that do certain things, play certain roles.

 

If these guys goals are really to move up to better women, that starts with being a better man. Tightening up your game. Not doing punk s**t.

[Jabron1]

Manhood is not a tool.

 

The kind that you are advising here is. It's provider game, based on outdated principles from back in the earlier part of the 20th century. That was way before feminism made that game (and those playing it) nothing more than a utility.

 

You should know that.

 

You all are constantly talking about "Alpha" males.

 

It's people broaching it with me, more often than not. And then blaming me for the subsequent discussion on said alpha/beta stuff like you are trying to do here.

 

Alpha males don't take advantage of people.

 

You have been reading too much Captain America.

 

Alpha isn't based in morality. There are alpha males in prison, just as there are alpha male philanthropists.

 

Alpha males protect and defend.

 

No mate. You're thinking of Spiderman.

 

If you really know game the way you say you do, then you know there's rules and regulations to the game. Those that do certain things, play certain roles.

 

This is too vague. I don't know what you mean.

 

If these guys goals are really to move up to better women, that starts with being a better man.

 

Self-improvement is always advisable.

 

Not doing punk s**t.

 

You never answered my question.

 

"You've never consciously 'dated down' to scratch an itch?

 

No drunk and last call at closing time moment? No rebounds? No barren spell? etc etc."

 

If so, why hate on him?

[todreaminblue]

The kind that you are advising here is. It's provider game, based on outdated principles from back in the earlier part of the 20th century. That was way before feminism made that game (and those playing it) nothing more than a utility.

 

You should know that.

 

 

 

It's people broaching it with me, more often than not. And then blaming me for the subsequent discussion on said alpha/beta stuff like you are trying to do here.

 

 

 

You have been reading too much Captain America.

 

Alpha isn't based in morality. There are alpha males in prison, just as there are alpha male philanthropists.

 

 

 

No mate. You're thinking of Spiderman.

 

 

 

This is too vague. I don't know what you mean.

 

 

 

Self-improvement is always advisable.

 

 

 

You never answered my question.

 

"You've never consciously 'dated down' to scratch an itch?

 

No drunk and last call at closing time moment? No rebounds? No barren spell? etc etc."

 

If so, why hate on him?

 

telling someone not to use another ...isnt hate at all......its good sound solid advice.....based in yes morals ...yes manhood...and yes respect......

 

im not one to believe in alpha...but i do believe in leaders and followers...good leaders have integrity...motivate strengthen defend and protect followers or people no matter what and not normally for selfish reasons but because it is in their nature......

 

women of quality...do the same thing.....they protect defend ...believe in morality integrity and yes to respectign others and their feelings.....they dont need saving...but are respected in their own right for who they are not their weight.....the words midknight were motivational leadership stuff......you saying you dont understand the simplistic way he puts things...is really a brush off on your behalf...makes perfect sense to me......

 

i dont read comics either.....or watch cartoons......telling a guy to use or take advantage of fat women though...to better yourself....isnt the way you should act in real life...its just not...right...or manly to do that...its...cowardly..and beneath a true man to do it..deb

[SammySammy]

The answer to your question is ... no.

 

In fairness, I'm a different type of guy. I told a story here of the most popular girl in school choosing me in the fifth grade. At the time I didn't know why.

 

Having women interested in me has never been a problem. I've never really been without the interest of at least one woman unless I just chose to be alone.

 

When people mention struggling to attract women or NEVER having a woman interested in them, that's a foreign concept to me. I don't understand. Think they are lying or unaware. Can't relate.

 

I mentioned "dating down" once in my initial post in this thread. I knew this girl. She was having a rough time dating. Men were mistreating her. Abusing her. She was still giving her all to these sorry men. I was telling that she didn't have to accept being treated like that. She asked me would I date her. Having put my foot in my mouth, I said yeah. To prove a point ... I did. We had a great time, she took it seriously, I broke it off, it broke her heart and I never did it again. Because I saw up close and personal the damage leading people on does.

 

Even then, I didn't "date down" because I had no other options.

 

Since you know game, pick up or whatever, I'm sure you've heard and understand the term DHV - display high value. In order to display high value, you don't do loser things. Right? What I'm trying to tell you is HAVING high value opens a whole new world compared to just "displaying" high value. And displaying high value doesn't allow you to show weakness like taking advantage of "lesser" girls.

 

When people can feel something rock solid and tangible about you, that's attractive. They may not know what it is, but men and women want to know what makes this guy tick. That's attraction.

 

Using the fat girl. That's repulsive. That energy drives people away. Even if you're temporarily "successful" it hinders the true success these guys claim they want. Quality women can sense that. So can their friends. Making the struggle even harder.

 

You guys have a choice. Positive vibes. Negative vibes. You all are welcome to keep thinking negative vibes get you to positive places. For guys who struggle with dating, I imagine it's almost impossible.

 

Their best hope is to raise their value. To become the man women want to be with.

[Ensam]

You already got quite a lot of criticism for advocating to lead women on for practise so I won't comment on that but I will say that I think that at the end of the day you will do more damage to yourself than to the person you are dating. You claim that you wish to find love and that's not something you're going to do by categorizing people as superior or inferior and certainly not by engaging in dating with people you're actually not very interested in.

[HillValley]

 

Having women interested in me has never been a problem. I've never really been without the interest of at least one woman unless I just chose to be alone.

 

When people mention struggling to attract women or NEVER having a woman interested in them, that's a foreign concept to me. I don't understand. Think they are lying or unaware. Can't relate.

 

Thank you for being honest about realizing your insight is limited because you have experience.

 

On that note, I believe these kinds of statements/ideas are exactly what creates the mindset behind this thread.

 

When people can feel something rock solid and tangible about you, that's attractive. They may not know what it is, but men and women want to know what makes this guy tick. That's attraction.

 

Their best hope is to raise their value. To become the man women want to be with.

 

The idea of having little value is what makes someone want to do this. Your own "value" needing to be raised to get someone when you look around and see people in relationships with cheaters or guys who treat them miserably.

 

It's very nice to be high-minded and walk away but after a while you start to wonder what you're inexperience from waiting is actually getting you. People talk about dating as "kissing frogs" or "figuring out what you don't want" so sitting on the sidelines isn't actually helping you.

 

In the end, manhood is about having character and integrity. We don't use people because they are easy or a means to an end.

 

We man up and do what needs to be done. Address our fears. Develop our weaknesses until they turn into strengths.

 

So the the guy who is a serial cheater has manhood? Cause he's not lacking in options, and the women he's using don't seem to think the scarlet letter A on his head makes him not relationship material.

 

There is no goal line to make you relationship worthy.

Edited June 29, 2016 by HillValley

[HillValley]

You already got quite a lot of criticism for advocating to lead women on for practise so I won't comment on that but I will say that I think that at the end of the day you will do more damage to yourself than to the person you are dating. You claim that you wish to find love and that's not something you're going to do by categorizing people as superior or inferior and certainly not by engaging in dating with people you're actually not very interested in.

 

This basically. At the end of the day, all you anyone can be accountable for is your own behavior.

 

If you think it's just a light switch that dating anybody will suddenly make you relationship material then go for it honestly, but that's says more about you than the girl.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Thing is, with obesity on the rise in America today, that all there seems to be in the dating pool.

 

Not that I condone what the OP says, I wouldn't do it, but it's a rather facetious, "Well, most of America, both male and female are obese, so ....that's might as well go for it."

[LookAtThisPOst]

You've never consciously 'dated down' to scratch an itch?

 

Nope, only the desperate do this.

[Jabron1]

Nope, only the desperate do this.

 

You've never been drunk at the end of a night out, and slept with someone that you normally wouldn't?

 

Guess you're perfect then. Congratulations

Edited June 29, 2016 by Jabron1

[DJOkawari]

You've never been drunk at the end of a night out, and slept with someone that you normally wouldn't?

 

Guess you're perfect then. Congratulations

 

If I can't find someone I'm attracted to, I'd rather do other things. On the other hand, I've never been desperate for sex. I suppose congratulations are in order

[LookAtThisPOst]

If I can't find someone I'm attracted to, I'd rather do other things. On the other hand, I've never been desperate for sex. I suppose congratulations are in order

 

 

 

Yep, congrats man, but hey, to each their own. ;-)

 

You've never been drunk at the end of a night out, and slept with someone that you normally wouldn't?

 

Nope, hadn't been that desperate. lol

[GoodOnPaper]

Having women interested in me has never been a problem. I've never really been without the interest of at least one woman unless I just chose to be alone.

 

I think this is how virtually every struggling guy would define "living the dream . . ."

 

When people mention struggling to attract women or NEVER having a woman interested in them, that's a foreign concept to me. I don't understand. Think they are lying or unaware. Can't relate.

 

You're very fortunate - it's a miserable existence. It puts so much pressure on situations that should be light and fun. You're constantly looking for any hint of a glimmer of interest. Any lost opportunity can mean months or years before the next one comes along. And in those dry spells, it seems like every woman who is even remotely attractive and/or interesting is coupled up.

 

There is no dignity in being alone unless you are able to hook up with someone at least occasionally. There is no dignity in adopting a take-you-will-have-you mindset - although that's probably the place where a lot of us end up - and there is no dignity in intentionally using people. Where do you turn?

[DJOkawari]

Yep, congrats man, but hey, to each their own. ;-)

 

It is definitely "to each their own". Having lived on both sides of this coin, I feel any person has the ability to choose what is "their own".

 

 

I think this is how virtually every struggling guy would define "living the dream . . ." [/Quote]

 

I haven't posted much in this thread because my advice is something you've definitely heard before. Whatever has happened in your past is a predictor for your future, only because you are not anticipated to change your behavior. If you change your behavior...then all bets are out the window. I'm not saying you haven't tried but the reality is, that is the solution. I'm not sure if anyone needs to go over what changes are recommended but the main thing is to try and fail and laugh about it. If you could modify your lifestyle to have more opportunities to try and fail, I think you'd find success more easily.

 

 

You're very fortunate - it's a miserable existence. It puts so much pressure on situations that should be light and fun...

 

I used to have extreme social anxiety so I can relate to a lot of what you wrote. I think the bold part is actually why some people have trouble meeting others - it was for me. Attraction, to me, is based on enjoyment of another. In any situation if you can find enjoyment and share it, you'll find someone who would like to be around you more. Romance has some other requirements but I think at the base-level enjoyment is a requirement.

 

I refer to this Alan Watts quote: “Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.”

 

A very privileged idea, but we are also on computers connected to the internet, speaking in English, etc. - a privileged existence, so I feel it is appropriate to share.

 

 

There is no dignity in being alone unless you are able to hook up with someone at least occasionally.

 

I take issue with this thought process. There is dignity in whatever existence you choose. If you don't feel that way, how do you expect others to see that within you?

Edited June 29, 2016 by DJOkawari

[Jabron1]

If I can't find someone I'm attracted to, I'd rather do other things.

 

Your hand.

 

People will boast about the most stupid things.

 

On the other hand, I've never been desperate for sex. I suppose congratulations are in order

 

I guess you can't miss what you don't have anyway.

 

Nope, hadn't been that desperate. lol

 

The girls I've slept with drunk, you'd orbit sober.