My long distance MILITARY relationship has turned sour. Is it time to let go?

[KJ1993]

I'm a 22 year old female and I'm in a LDR with a 23 year old airman. My boyfriend and I started getting to know each other 2 years ago and starting dating after 2 months of courtship (our 2 year anniversary is coming up this Monday June 27th). 6 months after we made it official he joined the US air force and left for basic training. Up until this point our relationship ran smoothly and I even surprised myself with how patient and understanding I was during his 6 weeks in basic training. We were only allowed to write letters to each other and we spoke on the phone twice. I thought I had gotten through the worst of it but lately we've been having more serious problems in our relationship. He is stationed out of state and I'm attending a university that's about 4 hours away from our hometown so we've been apart for most of our relationship. Things were REALLY tough until I became accustomed to our conflicting schedules (I'm in school during the day and he works at night), but now he is home on leave and things don't feel the same between us anymore. He's admitted that he's been feeling the distance but I have this scary feeling that this may be the end for us. Our relationship has been a rollercoaster ride but I thought things would be running more smoothly after we had a chance to spend time together.

 

One of the biggest issues that we've had is my struggle with losing weight. Before he joined the military he went through his own physical transformation and I've been working on my own but it's been more of a struggle for me. He gets upset with me sometimes for not trying hard enough and being more dedicated and my weight has fluctuated a lot since we've been together.

 

I worry that he's not attracted to me anymore. I can tell that the love is still there but lately I haven't felt wanted. Like he gives affection but I'm not feeling any meaning behind it. Lately he's been having some family issues that have kept him a little busy and we've talked about what's been bothering him but I can also tell there's something that he isn't telling me. Tonight he said he'd tell me about it when we see each other tomorrow and I have so much anxiety worrying about what it could be. My intuition is telling me that he's still having issues with my weight but if that's the case I'm thinking it may be time to end things. I've been working out and staying active since May but so far I haven't seen any noticeable results and I think it's bothering him. I never thought this would be an issue in our relationship since I was about the same size when we met. I love him with all my heart and I know he feels the same way but it's hard being in a long distance relationship and feel distance between each other after we're finally (physically) together.

 

Even though we've had our tifts it's been a healthy relationship overall, I'm just afraid of losing my first love and my best friend.

[ExpatInItaly]

You need to take a deep breath.

 

This might have nothing at all to do with your weight. Why is that your first assumption? My guess is that this has more to do with the distance.

 

In any case, you need to ask yourself if this relationship is really serving you anymore. You described it as a roller-coaster. All relationships come with challenges, of course. But if there are a lot of ups and downs, you need to reassess your deeper compatibility too.