I feel so crap..but i didnt know?

[Becki]

Ive posted this in here because its kinda to do with parenting. I'm appalled by this guys behaviour.

 

A few months back became..sorta involved with a guy at my local. (any of you who have read my recent post about cloud nine..its not the same guy). Anyway. I used to work at this pub, and he would always be in without fail on friday and saturday nights, then quite often about 3 other nights from about 3pm onwards, always with a group of people.

 

He started chatting me up and to start off with i took no notice because its a pub and basically i was there to be chatted up! but one day i went up there drinking with a few friends, and he got my number, and i did start to kinda like him (in a friendly way). A few weeks later we ended up sleeping together, i didnt think anything of it, it was casual and i didnt belive at the time he had any coommitments. How wrong i was.

 

A few days after that i saw him up town with a girl and a little boy. To start off with i thought nothing of it. He was 20, the girl he was with roughly the same age, and i presumed that the girl was either his sister or a friend, and the kid was hers. Either way I avoided him at the time because I wasn't in the best of moods that day and I didn't want to talk to him when he was with this girl and the kid anyway. Im guessing most of you know where this is going!

 

About three or four weeks after the first time, I slept with him again, same reasons as before, and afterwards he asked if he could stay the night, to which i replied no! When i asked why he said he'd fallen out with Charlie (the girl i saw him with) and she'd gone to her mums with his kid, and didnt have a key. I didn't notice the choice of words for a minute, but then it clicked!!! My jaw dropped and I said "you have a kid????" and he was like "yeah, i thought you knew!" i couldnt believe it! Ok i hadn't asked him while we were getting to know each other but i presumed it would have been something he would have told me at least before i slept with him the first time!! So I said to him, so what right has charlie got to take your son away? his reply: "oh, shes my girlfriend". this was all going over my head wayyy to fast! as far as ive worked out, charlie isnt the biological mum of his kid, but she let him move in with his son because his mum had thrown him out.

 

I was so angry at him! I really could not believe that he would mis-lead me so much. I felt so sorry for charlie, and even more so for his child. He spends most of his time in the pub, and in his spare time is sleeping around, behind charlies back and while his poor young son is at home. and the best bit?? He asked me not to tell Charlie. And believe me I would have done, if it wasn't for the fact I wouldnt want his child to be left without a home or end up in some dump somewhere. But I was so mad at myself because I always thought i would never cheat on anyone, or get involved with someone who was cheating. And in a way I didnt, because i didnt know.

 

But if he was my dad I know I would grow to hate him.

 

Anyway rant over, it was just something i had to get off my chest.

[Merin]

Sorry that happened to you.. That sucks!

 

My guess is Charlie left his sorry ass for reasons you've already stated...

 

He's a cheater, He spends all his time and/or money in the bar, and he's a liar.

 

It does suck that he didn't tell you straight up what was going on his life, and sadly enough there are a lot of other people out there that even when asked directly IF they are married/involved with someone or if they have Wee Peeps will lie about thier status... so don't be so hard on yourself for not knowing BUT in the future don't assume anything... about someones Marital status, Child status and most definately not about thier health status.