Kbomb Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 My boyfriend wants to go to the movies with his sons and his soon to be ex wife. Since he moved in with me he has not seems his sons very much because he does not get along with the mother. He wants to go to the movies with his sons and his wife won't let him take them alone so she's going too. This feels kinda weird and wrong to me. Am I being paranoid? or selfish? Do separated or divorced people do this...for the kids? Is this something I should get used to? I am not sure if I can do this dating a guy with kids from another woman thing.I also have kids from a previous marriage and they see their father all the time but we don't really go out to the movies together and all that. Just looking for other peoples opinions on this ....? Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 Inappropriate unless you are invited as well. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 I completely agree. You should go along too so she will know that you are in the picture as well. This sounds like she's trying to get him back on the sly if you ask me. Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 Are you surprised by this? This is, unfortunately what you signed up for. His ExW will come back with "We want to be civil and as normal with our kids". And she's right. You really don't have a say in this. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 Do separated or divorced people do this...for the kids? Is this something I should get used to? we don't do this, no - my xH & myself. we did in the VERY beginning because our child didn't adapt well but that was with one sole purpose... to show her how we still care about each other and how we're still a family. depends on the kids BUT in this situation... it's odd that she doesn't want the kids to go alone with him. he is their father. personally - i know my current partner is over and done with his ex wife, they can have daily dates for all i care. so it wouldn't bother me. Link to post Share on other sites
MissCongeniality Posted June 26, 2016 Share Posted June 26, 2016 I completely agree. You should go along too so she will know that you are in the picture as well. This sounds like she's trying to get him back on the sly if you ask me. Which is completely permissible but if she wants to lay her claim I suggest going and be very flirtatious in front of her. Hell no reason you two can't come to a mutually beneficial arrangement. Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 After my divorce these type of family outings are what lead to us getting back together... just saying 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pooldog Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 My boyfriend wants to go to the movies with his sons and his soon to be ex wife. Since he moved in with me he has not seems his sons very much because he does not get along with the mother. He wants to go to the movies with his sons and his wife won't let him take them alone so she's going too. This feels kinda weird and wrong to me. Am I being paranoid? or selfish? Do separated or divorced people do this...for the kids? Is this something I should get used to? I am not sure if I can do this dating a guy with kids from another woman thing.I also have kids from a previous marriage and they see their father all the time but we don't really go out to the movies together and all that. Just looking for other peoples opinions on this ....? It's ok he has to see his kids. I would encourage it. She will not always be like that and if you marry him then you can go. There are all kinds of scenarios with divorced parents and kids. If he goes back it's what he wants there is nothing you can do but I think you will be ok 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 My boyfriend wants to go to the movies with his sons and his soon to be ex wife. Since he moved in with me he has not seems his sons very much because he does not get along with the mother. He wants to go to the movies with his sons and his wife won't let him take them alone so she's going too. This feels kinda weird and wrong to me. Am I being paranoid? or selfish? Do separated or divorced people do this...for the kids? Is this something I should get used to? I am not sure if I can do this dating a guy with kids from another woman thing.I also have kids from a previous marriage and they see their father all the time but we don't really go out to the movies together and all that. Just looking for other peoples opinions on this ....? Better get used to him dealing with his ex wife forever. She is the mother of his children and on some level will always be in his/your lives. Best to make peace with this and try to get to know her, especially since some day you could be step mom to her children. So he left her for you? Then moved in with you? I can see why right now trust is an issue, you two haven't had a whole lot of time to be a regular couple. How long ago did he move in and leave his wife? I can see why you are concerned with him spending time with her but lets put it this way, if he goes back to her and his kids then you two weren't meant to be. Let him go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 So he left her for you? Then moved in with you? I can see why right now trust is an issue, you two haven't had a whole lot of time to be a regular couple. How long ago did he move in and leave his wife? I can see why you are concerned with him spending time with her but lets put it this way, if he goes back to her and his kids then you two weren't meant to be. Let him go. Oh this! OP I can certainly see why you are worried. This woman owes you nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Sub Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Oh this! OP I can certainly see why you are worried. This woman owes you nothing. Yes, I think a little more info on the situation would be helpful. OP, is this the guy you were referring to in another thread about a MM loving his W but cheating on her? Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 So....he basically doesn't see his kids at all. Of course he doesn't get along with their mother. That's how it is in most divorces, nothing new there. What does that have to do with their custody arrangement? Not getting along with her shouldn't preclude him from having them every other weekend or whatever the custody agreement mandates. He was a package deal when you got him - he comes with an angry, mistrustful wife and kids he doesn't spend time with anymore. Oh boy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HappyAgain2014 Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Depends on why he wants to go. For the kids, it's to be expected but hopefully mom and dad aren't misleading their children about reconciling if they aren't working on their marriage. Do you spend time with his kids? How long have they been separated? How old are the kids? Too many blank spots in your post to really give an opinion. I wouldn't blame her for wanting to come along, especially if the kids are young and haven't seen their dad in a while. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 Why won't the mother let him take the kids on his own? If there's no good reason, is he getting legally bound visitation plans in place? Link to post Share on other sites
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