Marriage Counseling

[NTV]

It wouldn't be revenge as much as a giant stop sign for MM. Plus, if you only have a year there, it might be better to start looking for something else sooner than later... her only knowing pieces is only going to last so long, I'd imagine.

[MidnightBlue1980]

It wouldn't be revenge as much as a giant stop sign for MM. Plus, if you only have a year there, it might be better to start looking for something else sooner than later... her only knowing pieces is only going to last so long, I'd imagine.

 

Na, he is good. He has a lot of reasons to keep her in the dark. It's actually not a job we are all at, I can't go into it here, but it's a business thing.

 

I'm two days NC. We'd been in daily contact since May and I did not do well with NC since Dec, I was always reaching out. I feel a lot of nothing. It's actually sweet relief. As if there was a knife in me for so long that I got used to the pain and then suddenly it was gone. I only can sense the absence of it, if that makes sense.

 

I'm not really in the same place I had been in for the last year. I'm kind of nowhere, it's hard to explain. Not sad or in pain, but not really happy. Blank. But I like blank. It's better than grief.

 

Something really shifted Tuesday morning when he was so irritated at me for asking questions about his life - he was the one telling me all the lies the last 6 weeks. He opened the communication on a personal level a year ago. But to say I made him uncomfortable with my texts about such personal matters, something just changed in me. I felt so humiliated. I was so angry and when the anger went away, nothing was left in its place.

 

I did not reach out and it really was not an effort on my part. I am sure eventually he will reach out and I will be ready to ignore him. Or maybe he won't reach out, maybe he's had enough of me. I am okay with that.

[ChickiePops]

Well, they know we see and speak with each other, but I know what you mean. xMM's wife would be horrified to know that during their counseling, he was telling me he loved me. Keep in mind I only found out about the counseling a week ago.

 

You are correct, they do not want us to be friends. I cannot speak for his wife but my husband said it's actually not because of what happened, it's because he truly believes xMM is a terrible person and he does not want me near him.

 

You are painting MM like a nice guy like the guys who post here. He is not. He has no interest in healing. I do though. I saw him today, we see each other once a week. It was very bad. He told me how he lies in counseling, she does not know that he loves me. He was like, are you crazy, why would I tell her that? And then he said I was acting crazy, making him uncomfortable with my personal questions over text, he really just wanted to be friends.

 

I reminded him how for the last 6 weeks he had been sending me I love yous, terms of endearment, sexual stuff, memory lane. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I am the crazy one? I do not want to be his friend at all. He treats me like this - he will contact me to get attention, when I respond, he ignores me and acts like I am crazy. Why can't I just chill?

 

I was extremely upset at the meeting. People were asking what was wrong. I dont have to see him for 2 weeks now, so I am a little relieved at that. I told my one friend there that I swear, I will not respond to him.

 

It's as if he is trying to break me. I've heard him belittle his wife. Now I am getting the same treatment.

 

Thanks for listening. This board helps.

 

Woah woah woah..I do NOT think MM is a nice guy. Nice guys don't cheat and lie and act like everything is fine when it's not.

[Adoraxx]

Hey Midnight,

 

My xMM ignored me from September 2015 til April 2016 and then he suddenly sent me an email again.

 

You wrote:

 

"I reminded him how for the last 6 weeks he had been sending me I love yous, terms of endearment, sexual stuff, memory lane. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I am the crazy one? I do not want to be his friend at all. He treats me like this - he will contact me to get attention, when I respond, he ignores me and acts like I am crazy. Why can't I just chill? "

 

This is exactly what my xMM has done too , starting a few weeks after his first email in April. He started to write 'ILY' again (did not even take the time to write down the longer version) and 'darling' this and 'darling' that and 'oh I saw you walk past, you looked so beautiful' (he lives nearby).

How have you responded to him telling you I love you again/ terms of endearment/ sexual stuff/ memory lane?

 

And then like you said: "When I respond, he ignores and acts like I'm crazy". Same here, although I haven't written 'darling' back or anything, I've tried to stay casual and platonic.

 

It's just hard when you care so much about someone and when you don't know anymore what's true and what's not. I'm currently again in the obsessive state of 'did I do something wrong and is that why he is ignoring me again'.....

 

Anyway, I'll be leaving this town before the end of the year (I told xMM this in June).

 

Hope you're ok today, Midnight

[MidnightBlue1980]

Hey Midnight,

 

My xMM ignored me from September 2015 til April 2016 and then he suddenly sent me an email again.

 

You wrote:

 

"I reminded him how for the last 6 weeks he had been sending me I love yous, terms of endearment, sexual stuff, memory lane. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I am the crazy one? I do not want to be his friend at all. He treats me like this - he will contact me to get attention, when I respond, he ignores me and acts like I am crazy. Why can't I just chill? "

 

This is exactly what my xMM has done too , starting a few weeks after his first email in April. He started to write 'ILY' again (did not even take the time to write down the longer version) and 'darling' this and 'darling' that and 'oh I saw you walk past, you looked so beautiful' (he lives nearby).

How have you responded to him telling you I love you again/ terms of endearment/ sexual stuff/ memory lane?

 

And then like you said: "When I respond, he ignores and acts like I'm crazy". Same here, although I haven't written 'darling' back or anything, I've tried to stay casual and platonic.

 

It's just hard when you care so much about someone and when you don't know anymore what's true and what's not. I'm currently again in the obsessive state of 'did I do something wrong and is that why he is ignoring me again'.....

 

Anyway, I'll be leaving this town before the end of the year (I told xMM this in June).

 

Hope you're ok today, Midnight

 

Hi Adoraxx. How did I respond? I thought at first that I was so happy I had him back, that this weird friendship where he called me baby, wrote me constantly, and said he loved me was enough. I'm not looking to leave my husband and I thought, maybe I can handle this. But I couldn't. It only lasted maybe a week or two until I said I couldn't handle being friends, then he would keep on doing the same thing, I would try and fail. Finally it was last week when I found out the truth, he was in marriage counseling and had been lying to me about his roommate marriage.

 

Then I was the crazy one, as he just wanted to be friends and had made that clear to me. What was wrong with me?

 

How am I today? I am okay. I have a guy friend whom I told all this to, the last 6 weeks, he know xMM. I showed him these fitbit messages from xMM, all these I love yous and stuff. He got me to delete xMM as my fitbit friend, which I admit killed me. I did shed a few tears. While I was on a roll, I deleted and blocked him on Linked In - I had blocked him a week ago on FB. It was a really huge step for me, especially the Fitbit as we are in these competitions together and he has only 2 friends, one which was me, so I know he will see. I did that all last night.

 

It's July 1st, new month. I'm in full on NC now. If he contacts me, I will not respond. I don't think he will though, I acted really crazy. I am happy I do not have to see him for over a week. He's dead to me.