9 years of LDR. Tell me what you think!!!

[HKaiser]

We met in our mid twenties. We fell in love from the first time and are friends and lovers ever since. And there is a lot of sexual tension between us. The problem is that we both work in something that requires live overseas and move a lot. So, we start a LDR and everything was great.

 

We always know that we can't be together because of work. Only is one of us renounce to our live (profession), only is someone waiver its dreams and education, and became a housekeeper could we be together. So, we decide 5 years ago that we need to keep going with our life and find others people to love, but never ending our love. Yeah, sorry if someone is too moralist, but love is love and no one can said "you can love only one".

 

Finally, we found others, get in love and we both are married now. Happy married with great spouses, spouses that we can pack in our baggage and can work in any place of the world. So we live happy for 9 years, seeing each other when we can after several months, talking all the time, skype call and video.

 

But now I have problems. I moved again and now we are 12 hours away... In the time zone. We are as far as the earth can put us, literally. So far that we have to take 3 planes to been together. This is the first problem actually. she is moving too but she will remain in the same time zone, and she want to visited me, but because of work, we only have time in 6 to 9 months. So I have to wait that much time to have sex with her again. She is sexting to me a lot this last two month, but this is her way to have sexual release. For me not. I'm not the kind who enjoy 'self release'.

 

And that is the problem number 2. What should I do, tell her 'stop sending this kind of pics' but I really enjoy seeing her naked? Tell her to have sexkype (online sex via video skype), I was reading that many people have sex this way in LDR, but this implies self release at the end. I'm very upset now.

 

At last, problem 3. I feel we are having the worst communication ever. 12 hours different implies we can only talk early in the morning, late in the night. We sleep at different times to, so we can only talk between 2 hours in the morning or 2 hours in the night mostly. She want to made videocalls but the quality of the call is bad. If we text then she responds after several minutes. I fell she is not trying her best. Yes, we still talk a lot and I enjoy her nudepics, and like the spontaneous 'I love you', but I am not happy with the current situation.

 

I will tell her all this after I read your opinions. You can lecture about moral if you like but prefers to hear about my LDR.

 

What I feel now is that I need to chill out first. I want to block her from every social media, like an immature kid. But I will not l. I will just not to talk to her for a while, because I want your opinions

 

I feel that she don't understand how hard will be the distance now. That I am glad she wants to come to visit me but is hard to wait 9 months! That I angry with her now for the first time.

 

We never fight before, so if we are going to fight now I need to have my head clear.

 

Thanks for reading. Please say something

Edited June 27, 2016 by HKaiser
Bad grammar

[ExpatInItaly]

So, let me make sure I understand the situation. Your post is a little unclear.

 

You are married now? And this woman is your LDR affair partner?

Edited June 27, 2016 by ExpatInItaly

[Ensam]

Honestly I don't understand why you are upset/angry with her. Perhaps we are not getting the full picture here but it was you that moved to another timezone and it's you that isn't keen on doing video calls or 'sexkyping'. As far as not being able to see each other in 9 months or so, it seems like the problem is on both ends cause of your busy jobs. Yet you feel she isn't doing her best and you are angry with her? I don't get it.

 

Not sure what advice to give you either. You both made your choices to prioritize work and getting it on with other people over your relationship. I mean it's sort of obvious that if you both have partners, busy jobs and live so far away with great time difference that it will be difficult to maintain your LDR. I only see two options - learn to deal with it the best you can or make significant changes to improve your LDR which might mean giving other things up

 

I don't see anything wrong with loving multiple people although it's not something I do. However I do hope your partners are aware of your LDR.

[hippychick3]

Have you asked your wife what she thinks?