Is this abuse?

[LunaticFringeLady]

Ok, I have been dating this guy for a little over a year now. We seemed to hit it off right from the beginning and he seemed so perfect. A little to perfect. We had everything in common. For the first couple weeks he would come spend the weekends with me and everything could not have went better. He even got along great with my kids. About 3 weeks into it he started hinting around about moving in with me. We got to talking about it and at the time I thought it was a good idea. A few days after he moved in we were laying in bed together and he got a text on his phone. I could not help but to glance and see who he was talking to. It was another woman with the username "sexymoma" she asked him if he had gotten her tablet off her headboard the other night. I did not say anything but had a clearly upset look on my face. He became extremely nervous and instantly wanted to have sex with me in an attempt to try to cover up. After we had sex he seemed fine and neither of us ever mentioned it again. I let it slip and things went ok for another week or so then he started to become extremely distant and refused any intimacy with me no matter how much I hinted around. This went on for like a month straight. He would tell me he loves me but would refuse any type of closeness. He would always give me excuses like he did not feel well or he had been working to hard. I honestly thought he had to be messing around on me so I made a mistake and cheated on him with an old FWB. All because I thought it would make me feel better, but it did not. What made it worse was this guy ended up being our future landlord. We got in an argument one night and I confessed it to him. That night I saw a side of him I never even imagined existed. He became irate and physically violent. He called me everything he could think of and hit me and grabbed me by my hair dragging me across the floor. It went on for hours into the night. Eventually he just started sobbing and claimed to me he took a whole bottle of zanax and laid on the couch all night actually pretending he was dieing. After that night it has been nothing but constant fights and arguments for the next 6 months or so that got violent and way out of hand on both parts. The fact that I cheated on him came up with every argument we have had. The last really bad physical fight we had was about 2 months ago. Since then we have both promised each other it would not happen again or we would end it. Even tho we are not fighting anymore I can't seem to just relax around him. Its that constant feeling of being afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing to upset him. He also suffers from extreme anxiety and depression and has recently been injured in an automobile accident and has been off work and struggling with a lot of emotional things. He is always making me feel guilty some how or like I don't do anything right. He always hints around how I'm not there for him and if I have any me time he makes me feel guilty for that too even tho he tells me to. I could go on and on with stories, but I think this post is long enough already. What us anyone's thoughts on this?

[turnera]

My thoughts are that I hope you think twice with the next man you date (since this guy won't last) that you do NOT let him move in with you and your kids. Not until you've been dating at LEAST six months if not a year. Frankly, that was irresponsible and potentially dangerous to your kids.

 

And yes, of course he's abusive and you, again, are being irresponsible letting a man who would beat you stay in your home with your kids.

[amaysngrace]

You're in an unhealthy relationship if you aren't able to be yourself around your boyfriend.

 

I hope you don't ever leave him alone with your children.