How Did You Forgive?

[MrCongeniality]

For those who have been betrayed and cheated how did you forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/spouse? Does it get easier or do you still have moments when you question if the cheater (I hate that term it makes a relationship sound like a game) can still be trusted? Do you ever regret giving the cheater another chance?

[ChocolateRain]

personally i would never trust a cheater again , because i have learned a valuable lesson . That's not to say that some '' one time cheaters '' can't deeply regret . But generally , cheating is a conscious choice ! it's a betrayal of the worst kind .

Should you forgive a cheater always remember that trust is never given freely but it must be earned .

 

in most cases if you let a cheater get away , he will most likely do it again ...

[Jhen29]

Actually I still in pain now after my exbf cheated on me. Is wrong to give another chance because if cheated on you before he always do it again.

[DrReplyInRhymes]

Mr, I think you need to take a breath and just go for a nice walk,

Cheating in a marriage is tough, but you're angry at the wrong beanstalk,

Be angry at the betrayal, but you're married, so I urge you to see,

This woman is baring her soul and hoping you'll still accept her with glee.

 

You've already built a life with her, and love her very much,

You ready to throw that away? Because I guarantee you'll miss her touch,

Try opening your heart a bit, be cool and be the rockstar that she originally wanted to marry,

For if she's that hot...., won't take long to find another Frank, Tom, or Harry.

Edited June 28, 2016 by DrReplyInRhymes
sorry no pun intended.

[smudge21]

I don't forgive, I just forget and move on. When they hurt me, betrayed me, they made it clear that I meant zero to them. Why therefore would I ever need to forgive them. What possible gain is there for me to forgive someone who means nothing to me and has no respect for me anymore. By forgiving them, you are saying you still care about them and still, in many ways, love them. In other words, you haven't let them go as easily as they let you go. You haven't healed, and you need to be more focused on that then forgiving them. They had their chance and blew it. For everyone who hurts you, betrays you, cheats on you, lies to you, disrespects you... there's many many more out there who won't! Focus on the good and the positive rather than the bad.. and the past.

[juniorrocha]

OP, people take that in different ways. You should see what's your way and that should be the "right way".

 

I also don't think that just because someone cheated once, they will always cheat on you. It's something very heavy for monogamous relationships though, as many consider it the worst of the betrayals.

 

My ex lied, cheated on me. And not only once. I still accepted her back. That went on for about a year. The second year of our relationship, if there was cheating or any bad behaviour going on, I never found out, and she was nicer than ever. I still couldn't let go and couldn't trust, which lead to other problems in our relationship and an eventual break up. I forgave her for all her mistakes as I don't want to carry any bad feelings; I sure don't want her back though, despite the great moments we had.

 

The problem afterall isn't necessarily the cheating itself, but when you no longer trust someone. When that happens, your relationship is doomed. It takes way too much time and work; sometimes it's simply not worth it.

[PegNosePete]

For those who have been betrayed and cheated how did you forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/spouse?

Forgiveness comes when you understand that they didn't do it deliberately to hurt you. They just did it because they wanted to. How did I forgive... from afar. It is not necessary to talk to someone, to forgive them.

 

Do you ever regret giving the cheater another chance?

No, because I didn't.

 

Forgiveness is not the same as taking someone back. They are two totally different things.

 

Which one are you really wanting to ask about? How to forgive someone, or whether to take them back or not?

[Michelle ma Belle]

Forgiveness is for YOU not for the other person. And it definitely doesn't mean you forget.

 

I'm with the camp who thinks once a cheater, always a cheater and have no problems kicking a cheater's a** to the curb. ANY kind of cheating or infidelity is a deal breaker for me. Period.

 

Doing so doesn't mean your heart won't break apart into a million pieces or that you won't cry yourself to sleep every night and start to question every aspect of your relationship to the point where you end up questioning your own self worth and even what's wrong with YOU instead of the other way around. All of that is perfectly normal but at some point you have to realize that his cheating is HIS doing, not yours. Everyone must take responsibility for their actions and a partner who cheats CHOOSES to cheat of their own volition. End of story.

 

Forgiving the person who betrayed you is about you making peace with the anger and pain so YOU can move on eventually. Remaining stuck in that painful limbo will do nothing for you other than keep you stuck indefinitely. Forgiveness isn't about condoning what they've done to you at all. It's about releasing their hold on you so you can learn to fly again on your own.