Someone online explained the "Hi" only emails

[LookAtThisPOst]

This woman, who wrote an impressive write-up herself online, mentioned thisin her profile, addressing the profiles SHE's seen with the people who take issue with the short, "Hi" or "Hello" emails

 

In fact she argued, "What is wrong with just "Hi" or "Hello? Does it not work in the real world that way when you introduce yourself? Who needs to give a long dissertation in their first email, when only a "Hi" will suffice?

 

I found it ironic since she had quite the dissertation herself as her profile write-up, apparently she's the rare one in favor of the "Hi" only emails.

 

She also said, "Why go into any depth, if you may not get a reply?"

 

Good point.

 

That said, would this justify all the "Hi" and "Hello" only emails? Perhaps those who USED to write longer first emails discovered they were wasting their time writing a full sentence, only to be ignored anyhow?"

[central]

Well, it's a contact, I suppose. If I'm at all interested, I may reply, "Hi, what's your name?" or, "Hi, what are you looking for?"

 

 

Most of the time, they don't really answer, or they are scammers and paste in a canned response - and they have no questions of their own. They just come across as too stupid to communicate in any meaningful way, or are spreading their net so widely that they can't give meaningful replies. Next!

[tojaz]

Makes some sense,

 

I think it depends on the effort they put into their profile. If I get a "Hi" and then find a well written and detailed profile It's not a big deal, kind of like winking or smiling at someone in real life,

 

But If I get a "hi" and then the profile only says "I'm laid back and like being outside" I usually figure they are just casting a wide net and I'm most likely 1 of 100 "Hi's" they had sent that day.

 

TOJAZ

[normal person]

She doesn't sound too smart.

 

In fact she argued, "What is wrong with just "Hi" or "Hello? Does it not work in the real world that way when you introduce yourself?

 

No, it doesn't. If you walk up to a stranger you're interested in and just say "hi," they'll look at you very strange and wonder why you're saying "hi" to a stranger. Or they'll wonder if they've met you previously and can't remember who you are, making them uncomfortable.

 

If you're making the effort to talk to someone, you need to qualify your reason for getting their attention by offering up a some personal information, a compliment, an excuse, a comment on something circumstantial, something to get the ball rolling. If you don't do that, you're putting the onus of the conversation onto them, and you can't even be sure they want to speak with you. It's like just passing a basketball to someone randomly in the grocery store without asking if they want to play basketball first. It can be odd and cumbersome.

 

Consider the projected conversation between two people, assuming you exchange one message a day:

 

Person 1: Hi

Person 2: Hi (elapsed time: 1 day)

Person 1: How are you?

Person 2: Good, you? (elapsed time: 2 days)

 

So here we have two people who are bad at messaging, and it's going to waste at least 2 days of their lives before they even exchange anything substantial. If person 2 has any smarts, they either ignore the message, or perhaps then feel the pressure to think of something interesting themselves in response in order to avoid the whole song and dance of meaningless pleasantries for another day.

 

 

Who needs to give a long dissertation in their first email, when only a "Hi" will suffice?

 

As if her only options are a single word, or a whole dissertation.

 

She also said, "Why go into any depth, if you may not get a reply?"

 

Because when you use OLD, you accept the fact that not everyone will like you and your success rate won't be 100% no matter how hard you try. But if you want any success, you do need to put the effort in for the percentage of people that you can win over.

 

Any person worth their salt probably won't reply to "hi" anyways, so why even use OLD in the first place if you can't be bothered?

 

That said, would this justify all the "Hi" and "Hello" only emails? Perhaps those who USED to write longer first emails discovered they were wasting their time writing a full sentence, only to be ignored anyhow?"

 

As if it it will kill someone to read a profile and expend the mental energy to incorporate the information into a sentence or two.

 

I can't imagine why this woman is single.

[ChocolateRain]

This woman, who wrote an impressive write-up herself online, mentioned thisin her profile, addressing the profiles SHE's seen with the people who take issue with the short, "Hi" or "Hello" emails

 

In fact she argued, "What is wrong with just "Hi" or "Hello? Does it not work in the real world that way when you introduce yourself? Who needs to give a long dissertation in their first email, when only a "Hi" will suffice?

 

I found it ironic since she had quite the dissertation herself as her profile write-up, apparently she's the rare one in favor of the "Hi" only emails.

 

She also said, "Why go into any depth, if you may not get a reply?"

 

Good point.

 

That said, would this justify all the "Hi" and "Hello" only emails? Perhaps those who USED to write longer first emails discovered they were wasting their time writing a full sentence, only to be ignored anyhow?"

 

Generally i agree with this woman but you cant make it right for everyone when OLD ... The cutest opening for me was just simple ...

 

A guy looked at my profile i looked at his ...he wrote a short cute little message saying '' i noticed you looked at my profile , why dont you just stay a little '' ... it was more than hello ...simple and sweet

 

too bad we were continents away ...oh well

[SwordofFlame]

The problem with opening messages is that a crappy one like "Hi" may get you ignored, but a well thought out opening line may not make much difference either after she reads your profile. It's like cover letters when looking for a job. Lack of or a bad one may cost you the interview, but a good one doesn't necessarily help you if your resume is subpar anyway.

[TooLegitToQuit]

I dunno. I think women send out winks and "hi" emails because, consciously or subconsciously, they basically see it as our role to initiate-- 'I'll throw out some bait and see how he reacts'.

 

I don't think it's a great strategy though for either gender. I don't think I ever responded to just "hi". Most first emails that I have gotten from women show a bit more thought than that--usually a smart one-liner. I try to send something good and short as my first email too--more than just 'hello' though.

Edited June 29, 2016 by TooLegitToQuit

[MissBee]

Lots of things that work in the offline world don't work online and vice-versa.

 

I also refuse to believe that it's soo much more of a chore to write a sentence versus hi. Like you lost 10 more seconds of your life by adding a few extra words?

 

SwordofFlame explains it best. Having a good message doesn't guarantee you will be responded to but a shyttyy one doesn't either, so why not go with the better one? I think this utilitarian attitude to dating is a turn off. You refuse to write a sentence in case you are ignored??? That is just plain dumb and self-defetingto me. The job analogy was perfect. Lots of components go into a job, you may apply to 100 and get no response but you ALWAYS wanna put your best foot forward and give yourself the best chance even if your efforts seem to go unnoticed. But saying they won't read your CL anyway and then saying you won't waste your time writing a good one because you may not get the job is shooting yourself in the foot. Why not put your best foot forward as a general rule? Same online is my motto.

 

I don't say "hi" only to people because that's not my personality and it's dry and boring. I have also NEVER met a man in person who just came up to me and said "Hi..." then waited for me to equally dryly say "Hi..." then we talked . They usually come up and say hello and ask a question or initiate a conversation so even the idea that in real life people just come up to each other and say "Hi" isn't even true.

Edited June 29, 2016 by MissBee