Should disabled women have children?

[TheMets]

I have this friend who handicapped and has several health issues. We just hung out a few days ago, and when we went out she can't even walk, she has to use a walker and a wheelchair at all times plus has to use an oxygen tank. She has back problems-has lung issues, has a weak immune system and she said sometimes she needs to wear a mask to prevent her from catching infections out in public. Sometimes she has to get hospitalized due to her lungs/immune problems. She told me she and her husband is trying to kids after several years of trying. I'm like ok...Its probably not my place to tell her that it's not maybe healthy for her to even have a baby, but c'mon, seeing that she has all theses health problems-I just don't think it's healthy for her. If she can't even walk, how is she going to manage taking care of a baby? She and her husband live in her parents basement-so I guess her mom will do all the work.

[Rockdad]

No one should bring kids into the world they can't raise or pay the bills.

[optomistic_nonsense]

I have a friend who also has some severe health issues and is comtemplating having kids.

 

In my person opinion - I think it is selfish to think of having kids if you are not mentally and/or physically able to. I understand wanting kids....but why on earth would you do such a thing knowing that you as a parent will not be able to provide that child with many of the necessities he or she will need. The first 2 years especially are very tiring, both emotionally and physically. I have an 8 month baby and 7 year old, both boys - and wow. When my head hits that pillow at night I feel as though the wind was knocked out of me and I am thankfully blessed with a healthy body. Days when I have a severe headache - I wish I could "call off" for the day but it's not an option.

 

I would kindly tell your friend to think about the life that child would have. It's not just about feeding the kid and making sure they're getting enough sleep. There are a ton of physical requirements involved....and given your friend's medical situation - is she even medically cleared to give birth? The pregnancy alone could take a toll on her as the months progress and something as simple as breathing properly can be at times challenging. Not trying to Debbie-Downer it here but I would feel sorry as ever for a child born into a parenting situation where the mother was just not well enough to take care of him/her.

 

Your friend's priority right now should be on her own self. Perhaps she can work on getting herself to a healthier state and then think of children. Maybe adoption would be a promising option for her to limit the risk of additional health issues, or even to prevent her passing along any health issues to a potential baby/fetus.

[stillafool]

I think it is extremely selfish if you ask me. Some people only care about what they want.

[Haydn]

I have this friend who handicapped and has several health issues. We just hung out a few days ago, and when we went out she can't even walk, she has to use a walker and a wheelchair at all times plus has to use an oxygen tank. She has back problems-has lung issues, has a weak immune system and she said sometimes she needs to wear a mask to prevent her from catching infections out in public. Sometimes she has to get hospitalized due to her lungs/immune problems. She told me she and her husband is trying to kids after several years of trying. I'm like ok...Its probably not my place to tell her that it's not maybe healthy for her to even have a baby, but c'mon, seeing that she has all theses health problems-I just don't think it's healthy for her. If she can't even walk, how is she going to manage taking care of a baby? She and her husband live in her parents basement-so I guess her mom will do all the work.

 

I doubt she will be able to carry to full term with these things you have said.

 

But should `people` with disabilities have kids if they want?

 

Yes.