delirium Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 When it comes to dating I move pretty slow. I usually wont start making moves until the 3rd date. I think this has held me back from advancing with women. Now, I really like the girl im seeing right now. Weve been on 3 dates and they were all fun and amazing. However, I moved really slow with this one and still haven't kissed her. I usually don't have a problem with this, but for whatever reason, im really struggling with this girl. I just cant pull it off. Much to my surprise she said yes to a 4th date and we are going out in 2 days. I don't want to screw this up but I feel like I already may have and its no longer salvageable. We didn't text this weekend and I noticed on Monday she updated her Tinder pics, which means she's still actively looking and im thinking that has to do with me not pulling the trigger. Regardless, im going to make my moves on this next date and I will kiss her and see if I can save this, but im really not anticipating much. What are the chances that I can salvage this new romance? Do girls lose interest when we move slow?
BaileyB Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 It may bring out some insecurity and make her wonder if you are attracted to her. But, if she likes you, she will hang in. Three dates is not too long. But then again, I don't like to move too fast with new people either... Takes time to get comfortable with someone. Definitely, try to give her some clue that you are interested next time you see her. If she is still agreeing to go out with you, it means she has some interest and that's a good sign. Good luck!
smackie9 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Yes most of the time. Girls get excited about a guy who is bold, confident and shows his desire. Uncertainty/moving slow makes you look weak and meek leaving opportunity for another to swoop in and sweep them off their feet. 5
LookAtThisPOst Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 To me it's like it's up to the definition of what is "too slow" for someone. 10 dates, yes, too long, date 1 or 2, too fast. I'm sure there is some wiggle room there, but if someone isn't willing to give it some time or has the patience to accommodate, they aren't someone I'd like to have in my life anyways.
Gaeta Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 She is starting to wonder about your interest and if you attracted toward her that's why she changed her picture. She wants to see who else is out there. That being said it is salvageable. She did accept a 4th date which means she likes you enough to pursue and give you the benefit of the doubt. You need to turn this around in your favor on 4th date.
BrownEyedGurl1 Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 No. If I like someone, the pace does not matter. Perhaps I am weird but for OLD where someone to me is a stranger, I get turned off by men making physical moves on the first 2 dates. Its different for someone I knew before. I read your other thread and you are fine. No matter how many dates you go on you are possibly being led on its not something that can be avoided. But, if she is accepting dates still there is a good chance she likes you and is willing to wait for a move. 1
Author delirium Posted June 28, 2016 Author Posted June 28, 2016 (edited) So ive gone out on 3 dates with this girl. I really like her, but because she works for a company that does business with where i work, i thought it might be smart to take it slow. Well i think i went too slow and she has lost interest. I didn't make enough moves and never went for the first kiss with her. We were supposed to go out for a 4th date this week, but she just asked me if i would hate her if we had to reschedule. She coaches cheerleading and has a meeting with the other coaches that day (supposedly). I told her rescheduling is fine and we set up something for next week. Im thinking this may be a waste of time now though. I think if she were still interested she would have made a better effort to reschedule something sooner, but she might be busy (with other dates and what not). Im also thinking that ive already blown it and shes just being nice. Im wondering if it would hurt to just tell her how i really feel. Tell her that i think i blew it, that i really liked her and why i moved so slow. I know that will probably make me even less attractive to her, but since i think ive lost her already, i dont really see the harm in expressing how i feel. Should i go ahead and go on the next date or cancel it? Should i tell her how i really feel about her and the situation? Edited June 29, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
PogoStick Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 What are the chances that I can salvage this new romance? Do girls lose interest when we move slow? 42% Make a move and see what happens. 2
Buddhist Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 'Girls' don't do anything collectively. You are dating a particular girl and she will behave according to her own set of beliefs, fears, habits. There is no magic formula for behaving that will guarantee success with any girl. Now just as you are beginning to react to her behaviour (updating Tinder etc) with anxiety, she is probably doing the same thing. Looking at how you are behaving, measuring that against some past negative experience and deciding it's all going downhill based on nothing. If you want to salvage this, stop protecting yourself and instead engage with her so she understands that you have interest and knows the level of interest. Right now you are just expecting things to fall apart and every little bit of information you are getting is confirming your fears. Turn it around. 1
joseb Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 Why are you not making a move? If you think she is not attracted to you physically, then why go on dates wirh her. It's expensive and a waste of time. If she is attracted, then she will be disappointed that you are either not attracted or are too meek. So either way, making a move you have nothing to lose.
joseb Posted June 28, 2016 Posted June 28, 2016 I read your other thread and you are fine. What threads? This is his first post.
bu2002 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 When it comes to dating I move pretty slow. I usually wont start making moves until the 3rd date. I think this has held me back from advancing with women. Why do you have this arbitrary time period of three dates? I'm guessing it's cause you're afraid to just put yourself out there. Women like a man who's confident. You have to be able to assess the situation and catch them on an emotional high. Once that high passes and don't make a move, that's where interest wanes.
Teknoe Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 When it comes to dating I move pretty slow. I usually wont start making moves until the 3rd date. I think this has held me back from advancing with women. Now, I really like the girl im seeing right now. Weve been on 3 dates and they were all fun and amazing. However, I moved really slow with this one and still haven't kissed her. I usually don't have a problem with this, but for whatever reason, im really struggling with this girl. I just cant pull it off. Much to my surprise she said yes to a 4th date and we are going out in 2 days. I don't want to screw this up but I feel like I already may have and its no longer salvageable. We didn't text this weekend and I noticed on Monday she updated her Tinder pics, which means she's still actively looking and im thinking that has to do with me not pulling the trigger. Regardless, im going to make my moves on this next date and I will kiss her and see if I can save this, but im really not anticipating much. What are the chances that I can salvage this new romance? Do girls lose interest when we move slow? Why do you think you move slowly, and is this something that you can "change" for date #4? Try to relax and not put too much pressure on yourself. Although I know first hand that is easier said than done. But the fact is, she agreed to a 4th date, and that's a great sign! I definitely would do something to let her know I'm into her by the end of date #4. Maybe she took this date figuring if you don't do something, she'll move on, but that she doesn't want to necessarily move on, so giving you one last chance? I don't know man, I'm no expert Generally though, women will move on after four dates if a guy doesn't kiss them? I don't know, but what from I've read it seems to be the case?
Teknoe Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 Women like a man who's confident. You have to be able to assess the situation and catch them on an emotional high. Once that high passes and don't make a move, that's where interest wanes. Amen. I have found this to be typically true. When a woman thinks of you and gets those "good feelings" or vibes about you, you need to strike. Because once that's gone, it's damn near impossible to regain.
lovey34 Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 kind of hard to say... you want to move respectively slow but not too slow she looses interest. after each date you should be leaving her with something to fulfill her- not too much but enough.. that way she has interest and wants more.. if you want to see if she is still interested try talking to her, texting or phone calls.. flirting will be a sign she still wants the date but honestly couldn't make it. just reschedule... if she shows no interest and makes excuses she's not interested... best of luck
BeholdtheMan Posted June 29, 2016 Posted June 29, 2016 i dont really see the harm in expressing how i feel. Should i go ahead and go on the next date or cancel it? Should i tell her how i really feel about her and the situation? No good in pouring out your aching heart. You'll look weak and lame
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