WIDESTI Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 my ex and I broke up about 2/3 months ago. She completely cut me off and did not say and word and blocked me from everything. She went on a trip to China and Japan for a month. To my surprise she called last Friday to talk. We talked for 4 hours on the phone about our relationship how it came about to where it is now talking about the good the bad and all. We ended up meeting up Sunday night to talk again. Met up around 7 went to the park, the beach and talked till 7am. We hugged, cuddled, kissed. She said she misses me but is heartbroken and hurt still. I have since met someone new and we've been talking for a few weeks and its such a good feeling to know someone is committed and want to give 50/50 unlike my ex who I always felt was 70/30 and unsure but apparently I still have strong feelings for my ex. How should I go about this????? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 snip How should I go about this????? You're not over your ex, but you started a new relationship, and now you don't know what to do. No surprises there. You are exactly where you put yourself. It's not fair to let the new girl develop feelings for you when you're not over your ex. Your ex has feelings for you, but they don't involve wanting to be with you. You shouldn't be with either. Take care. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Densel Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Read your title again You want a second chance right? Then please leave the new girl. Who woudnt be broken and hurt after a break up? Your ex is 50/50 now because she is guarding her heart. Talk to your ex. Let her know how you are feeling and how the relationship can improve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaig Posted July 2, 2016 Share Posted July 2, 2016 my ex and I broke up about 2/3 months ago. She completely cut me off and did not say and word and blocked me from everything. She went on a trip to China and Japan for a month. To my surprise she called last Friday to talk. We talked for 4 hours on the phone about our relationship how it came about to where it is now talking about the good the bad and all. We ended up meeting up Sunday night to talk again. Met up around 7 went to the park, the beach and talked till 7am. We hugged, cuddled, kissed. She said she misses me but is heartbroken and hurt still. I have since met someone new and we've been talking for a few weeks and its such a good feeling to know someone is committed and want to give 50/50 unlike my ex who I always felt was 70/30 and unsure but apparently I still have strong feelings for my ex. How should I go about this????? you left her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WIDESTI Posted July 5, 2016 Author Share Posted July 5, 2016 you left her? she left me. So isnt it selfish of her to be angry that I am currently getting to know some not hearing anything from her for over 2 months? Sucks I feel like I am back to square one of the breakup where I am missing her and cant get my mind off of her. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 she left me. So isnt it selfish of her to be angry that I am currently getting to know some not hearing anything from her for over 2 months? Sucks *I feel like I am back to square one of the breakup where I am missing her and cant get my mind off of her. *All the more reason not to get involved with somebody else. You are nowhere near ready for that. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WIDESTI Posted July 5, 2016 Author Share Posted July 5, 2016 *All the more reason not to get involved with somebody else. You are nowhere near ready for that. Take care. it happened and now that I experienced it I know better. But now my question is could my ex come back and blame me for that if she is the one who broke it off? I did everything after the breakup to try to fix things but since she left with no word I tried moving on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 it happened and now that I experienced it I know better. But now my question is could my ex come back and blame me for that if she is the one who broke it off? I did everything after the breakup to try to fix things but since she left with no word *I tried moving on. *What does 'moving on' mean to you, and how did you "try" to do it? Link to post Share on other sites
gaig Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Ok, our (actually yours) inputs are; she left you, she disappeared, but somehow she is heartbroken(!) and hurt. I think it's too obvious, she hasn't "landed" yet. It is not all about her, she left without any word. I know because the same disappearance happened to me 2 months ago (check the story). If my ex comes back, even though she is in my heart and my thoughts (like every hour of the time I am awake), she has to prove she is serious, that she's spent lot of time thinking about it and actually come with with an offer. I did everything for her, I was standing next to her armed with olympian patience until the very last bitter moment. So, she knows very well what I can offer her, it is time to SPEAK and present what values SHE can bring into the relationship. She cannot come and complain because throwing you in the trash can, made her feel a bit inconvenient with herself. She should! To me, it doesn't sound as if you have a second chance. At least, not the second chance you would like. She needs a shock to wake up (like the shock induced to you by her leaving like that which I am sure put you in serious thinking and brought you here). Think how you do it, Just be respectful to her, polite and firm. Show her the confident and decisive man she probably fell for. If she doesn't give you what makes you feel safe for the future, walk away (even though I know how difficult it might be) and no NC. She wasn't respectful with you once (unless there is something you haven't told us), she shouldn't have a second chance. All the best! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WIDESTI Posted July 5, 2016 Author Share Posted July 5, 2016 *What does 'moving on' mean to you, and how did you "try" to do it? completely moving on would be to have no emotional attachment what so ever. I tried doing it by going NC and distancing myself from her. Not calling, checking, social media. Going out and start talking and getting to know others. Link to post Share on other sites
SevenCity Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 completely moving on would be to have no emotional attachment what so ever. I tried doing it by going NC and distancing myself from her. Not calling, checking, social media. Going out and start talking and getting to know others. I'm curious to hear if there is more to the story. Did she give a reason for up and leaving? Technically, moving on means you see them as any other stranger on the street. That's not the case here. What I found in my short time on this board is the expectation is to get to that point, then start dating. I can't do that. As a guy the best way to make you feel better is having another girl. Besides, I could have gone through years of celibacy if I waited until I was over an ex in the past. No thanks. I suppose this makes me a bad person but I realized you have to think of yourself first. Link to post Share on other sites
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