Worth Taking to Court?

[minimariah]

Yeah, that was the point I made originally mimi.

 

sorry, Jen. LOL. totally jet lagged! yeah, i agree with you.

 

I really don't think the OP is being truthful about her motives though.

 

that's hard to tell but from her posts - but yeah... i don't really see any strong reasons for changing their current agreement. the kid is doing well and the only "problem" is that he's spending more time with the grandma... the time he is supposed to spend with his dad. but i think that's important, too - spending the time with the father's family. the comment about the homework... yeah, i wouldn't take away someone's time with their child because they forgot to bring cookies to school.

 

realistically, the kid is doing GREAT with this arrangement and the OP can't really prove otherwise... i can think of a couple ways i could twist her story & sue for parental alienation... imagine what a GREAT lawyer can do. so if the X has the money and time... yikes. don't know - this could either go really great for the OP or REALLY bad. not sure if it's worth the gamble but i do agree with Jen - if she thinks it does her son bad... it is certainly her right to fight for what she believes is good; the court will decide.

[optomistic_nonsense]

I really appreciate all of you taking the time to respond. While I understand you all have your own opinion on the situation, which is what I asked for, I do feel this got a tad out of line. Reposting a old ppst of mine from years ago is not what I posted about or asked for advice on. You can think what you want of me but I am proud of the parent I am and have become over the years. The point of this post was not to dive deep into my past, but since it has been brought up more than once - yes, there are deeper issues going on. For one, I prefer my son to NOT be raised in an Islamic environment (which I briefly mentioned in a previous response), nor do I prefer my son to be in an environment where he is going to bed at some ungodly hour of the night and then waking up at 6:30am. These may seem like little petty things to some, but to me its important. These are just a few examples, but again my original post was simply asking for a general yay or nay on my possible plans. I take pride in being a parent. I do not receive one penny in child support because I think its foolish (in my situation) nor is it needed.

 

There are ways to provide constructive criticism without making yourself look like a complete jerk in the process.

[CupCakess]

I really appreciate all of you taking the time to respond. While I understand you all have your own opinion on the situation, which is what I asked for, I do feel this got a tad out of line. Reposting a old ppst of mine from years ago is not what I posted about or asked for advice on. You can think what you want of me but I am proud of the parent I am and have become over the years. The point of this post was not to dive deep into my past, but since it has been brought up more than once - yes, there are deeper issues going on. For one, I prefer my son to NOT be raised in an Islamic environment (which I briefly mentioned in a previous response), nor do I prefer my son to be in an environment where he is going to bed at some ungodly hour of the night and then waking up at 6:30am. These may seem like little petty things to some, but to me its important. These are just a few examples, but again my original post was simply asking for a general yay or nay on my possible plans. I take pride in being a parent. I do not receive one penny in child support because I think its foolish (in my situation) nor is it needed.

 

There are ways to provide constructive criticism without making yourself look like a complete jerk in the process.

 

Brought that old post to point out a comparison into what you were complaining your Ex does, with your own past perceptions of parenting. Anyone can make mistakes, and that old post speaks volumes of your perception of what was right or not at the time.

 

But I figured that the whole grandmommy thing wasn't the true issue, given its not a big deal, and there might be a deeper issue to why you wish to seperate your child from your ex.

 

Your concerns are not petty at all. In fact your true concerns are actual problems. Without the intent of attacking anyone's religion, your ex's religion (when brought up in the inproper way) can turn a person into a mysoginist, close minded and possibly violent individual. I would personally prefer my children not to be involved in that religion either.

 

However fighting that at court could be difficult.

 

You should consult with your lawyer, but tell him the whole story. The best possible strategy is to fight for full custody, giving you the right to decide what religion should be taught to your son (unless that is already a part of the agreement). However in practice, once your son hits like 12, and becomes a pre-teen young "man", he will choose for himself.

 

Remember that family law is of concilitory nature in the best interest for the child, not meant to "punish" individuals for transgressions. If you can prove that his father's religion affects his upbringing means you could overturn the agreement, but it is certainly hard, unless you live in a super christian state like Texas, in which you could win easily.

Edited June 29, 2016 by CupCakess

[mrldii]

OP, as to your original post's thoughts, I'd suggest talking to your ex about the change in your situation, but NOT presenting it as anything other than IF the 50/50 split is no longer working for him or his mother, you're currently in a position to take on more.

 

Remember: nowadays, it often takes more than just the [biological] mother and father to raise a child; it takes many from the village. Unless your ex and/or your ex-MIL is doing anything harmful to your son...

 

...if it ain't broke, what's to fix?

 

 

Best of luck to you...

[66Charger]

You may feel like you can provide a healthier and better environment, but you are also saying you and YOUR HUSBAND can do this. .

 

If you can use your husband as a supporting factor, then what is the problem with him using his mother? Your husband was never part of your custody agreement either.

 

And as a father, I will tell you that nothing your husband can give to your first child is better or more suitable, than what his Dad can give. Nothing

 

That is his son, he is working to support him and be with him. As he should be.

 

90/10 = You have him 27 days a month and his DAD gets 3. Thats good for your and HIS son? Sorry, No way would I go for that. I have had 50/50 custody from 3 to 17. Dad is my middle name.

 

I really dont mean to sound harsh, but as a DAD, thats offensive.

Edited June 29, 2016 by 66Charger

[Mr. Lucky]

...if it ain't broke, what's to fix?

 

 

Best of luck to you...

 

Had the same thought. OP, you posted this:

 

2) My son's behavior in school is excellent and luckily always has been.

 

3) My son has been very, very fluid and easy-going, and I do believe that is is in part because this is how it's been for 6 of his 7 years of life

 

Sounds like you, your ex and the support teams on both sides are raising a happy, well-adjusted kid. Give thanks...

 

Mr. Lucky

[jakrbbt]

You may feel like you can provide a healthier and better environment, but you are also saying you and YOUR HUSBAND can do this. .

 

If you can use your husband as a supporting factor, then what is the problem with him using his mother? Your husband was never part of your custody agreement either.

 

And as a father, I will tell you that nothing your husband can give to your first child is better or more suitable, than what his Dad can give. Nothing

 

That is his son, he is working to support him and be with him. As he should be.

 

90/10 = You have him 27 days a month and his DAD gets 3. Thats good for your and HIS son? Sorry, No way would I go for that. I have had 50/50 custody from 3 to 17. Dad is my middle name.

 

I really dont mean to sound harsh, but as a DAD, thats offensive.

 

I think this is pretty close to how most courts would view it.

[jakrbbt]

OP regarding the sleep issue: My suggestion is you call the pediatrician to ask about signs of sleep deprivation. Then visit for a check-up with child (but maybe don't mention to the child that it's about sleep--don't want to give him sleep worries).

 

Next, if needed, confer with his teachers about whether he's showing signs of sleep deprivation-- which as I understand, usually shows up in behavior problems first.

 

Then if he's doing fine, give yourself permission not to worry about his sleep at dad's. If it's a problem, get a note from pediatrician. My guess is dad would find some way to mitigate sleep problem if it's a medical problem.

 

But it also sounds like son is doing great. My yoynger siblings slept from 9p-6a (no nap) because of big household and older siblings' commute. All are successful, high-functioning, happy, in excellent health.

[standtall]

OP...

 

[]Child custody laws and friend of the court arrangements vary wildly form state to state.

 

Second, you can do whatever you want when it comes to taking your ex to court over child custody issues, BUT IT'S GONNA COST YOU.

 

Third, the courts...at least in Michigan and Florida favor keeping things as they are for normalcy of the child. If he is doing good and school, has friends, plays sports, etc, and you cannot prove he is being neglected or abused, then you are fighting an uphill and most likely losing battle.

 

Fourth, your ex husbands parenting style is not an issue because of number three. Your opinion about it means [nothing] to the courts. The court does not know you and they don't know him, and they will be listening to the attorneys portray each of you in the best light possible and the other as the devil, so the court will go to..you guessed it...number three again.

 

Finally, if you are serious about changing your custody arrangement, first I would politely talk to your ex and see if he is willing to change it. That is always the best option. If that doesn't work, hire the meanest, most expensive lawyer you can find, and pray.

 

Whatever you do, do not go to court without a lawyer..it's like a sheep going to a slaughter..you will lose.

Edited June 30, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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