Problems with OLD

[ChocolateRain]

FRAMED photos sitting on a shelf. LOL

 

i see these quite often Red Flag Alert you know he /she dont look like that anymore

Say, a bald guy

i love bald guys

 

 

Generally people are often fooled by pictures ... i paid more attention to what they said in their profile or how they exchange dialog with you

[Hyperion227]

I hear this a lot, but I think there's some clarification needed here.

 

I can understand how grainy, low-light photos can get overlooked and "swiped" away. I've even seen people take pictures of their FRAMED photos sitting on a shelf. LOL

 

But, when if the person is actually unattractive in the picture. Say, a bald guy or has a big nose (just giving an example). Sure his/her double chins are seen nice and clearly, but doesn't mean it'll make others throw themselves at them.

 

If the person thinks you're ugly, picture quality won't matter.

 

Yeah, I would generally say that if you're a guy who isn't good looking then online dating is a lottery. You might get lucky and find a woman who doesn't care about your looks who is also compatible with, and attractive to, you. But you might as well just buy a lotto ticket and hope to find her when you're a millionaire. The odds probably aren't that much different.

[LookAtThisPOst]

Yeah, I would generally say that if you're a guy who isn't good looking then online dating is a lottery. You might get lucky and find a woman who doesn't care about your looks who is also compatible with, and attractive to, you. But you might as well just buy a lotto ticket and hope to find her when you're a millionaire. The odds probably aren't that much different.

 

Right, pretty much every woman I dated, didn't care about looks. The last one I dated pretty much made this clear, which is probably why I got lucky to even gotten that far. lol

 

Women who are more saphiophiles are few and far between.

[TigerCub]

I've also heard of situations where men were approached by women on these sites who were desperate for having their bills/rent paid. No joke, this does happen.

 

I had a woman from POF suggest she move in with me as she was desperately seeking a place to live. lol

 

You can kind of read between the lines the end game would be.

 

I have a feeling that these women aren't limiting their hustle to online - they're probably trying it out in the real world too.

 

I can't believe they would even try it though..how would that convo even go?

 

'Hi Bob, I'm Kathy, nice to meet you. I like your smile, wanna live together at your place? It'll be oh so fun!!"

[LookAtThisPOst]

I have a feeling that these women aren't limiting their hustle to online - they're probably trying it out in the real world too.

 

I can't believe they would even try it though..how would that convo even go?

 

'Hi Bob, I'm Kathy, nice to meet you. I like your smile, wanna live together at your place? It'll be oh so fun!!"

 

Believe it or not, one claimed to be "Christian" and said in her profile "no sex before marriage."

 

And yet, she's looking for a "roomate"via an online dating site? I decided to mess with her and messed with her and said, "You can live here under the condition you cook and clean in lingerie/French maid's outfit."

 

That shut 'er up.

[PegNosePete]

If the person thinks you're ugly, picture quality won't matter.

True but most people "average" looking. Great pics of an average looking person will undoubtedly have a lot more success than bad pics of an average looking person.

 

For example most people are a lot more attractive when they smile.

[LookAtThisPOst]

True but most people "average" looking. Great pics of an average looking person will undoubtedly have a lot more success than bad pics of an average looking person.

 

For example most people are a lot more attractive when they smile.

 

Well, actually, I was debating on using the word "average" in place of "ugly" in my post, but I figured I'd use "ugly" (the extreme), to make a point.

 

So I'm still going to have to disagree (think we're getting into hair splitting territory), even an average looking guy (or ugly), if they have good photos, the quality won't matter.

 

Same still applies, sorry to say.

[LookAtThisPOst]

For example most people are a lot more attractive when they smile.

 

To some people, yes. I'm attracted to women that smile in their photos as oppose to those dead pan, dead-eyed looks.

 

I've read somewhere a man smiling in their dating profile pics is not as attractive as the "serious, manly" face.j Apparently, there's something "unmanly" about a man that smiles.

 

But, that's another thread altogether.

[NewLeaf512]

People are usually attracted to someone's looks first. That's why people have pictures on their profiles. And that's why profiles with no pictures are usually ignored.

 

 

 

It's a prequalifier. You get to know them after they know you're not repulsive, you have a decent job,

 

1). My only real gripe is that it's still time consuming. A person can write a novel about themselves but you don't really get a sense of them until you arrange to meet, get dressed up, and get down to the bar/restaurant. You'll probably know if you want to see them again or not within a few minutes but regardless (if you're a guy in America), you're still stuck with the $80+ bill just to figure it out. OLD will be a lot better once one of the sites allows you to include video of yourself.

 

2). Society is becoming more and more one of instant gratification. I do like the quick nature of things, I think a lot of people do, and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon. It's in a way, much more efficient, but still not perfect. Better you get to filter people out first on a bunch of important criteria before you meet them than have it be like the old days, where you friends just set you up with a stranger you knew absolutely nothing about. When you think about the instantaneous nature of "swipe left, swipe right," that's more or less what you do when you enter a bar and look for people you might be attracted to. You think in your head, "no, no, no, no, YES, no, no, etc." The difference is it will take you a little longer to meet that person if you connect online rather than in person. But you wouldn't have met them anyways, so consider it a win.

 

 

 

1). The catalog nature of it leaves people wanting the best people. Most people by definition are pretty mediocre and not much to write about. Many people think simply making a profile is enough to award them some interest from the other people on the site -- incredibly wrong. The sites and aps themselves will never allude to this because it will hurt their business. But for it to really be a successful tool for you (if you're a man), you need to be exceptional across the board. And if you're a woman, you need to spend a lot of time filtering out the mountains of less than desirable guys.

 

2). It's only useful if you live in a large city. If you live in a small town, your dating pool on the ap might only be a dozen people or less, and God help you if you don't like any of those people.

 

This presumes that all people using OLD are completely truthful and transparent.

 

It seems from the above that "not being repulsive and having a decent job" are essential traits that give a person a great relationship skill set.

 

The instant comments are interesting. It reminds me of those clay toys that you pour water on and grass grows out of it like fur. I can't remember the name but something pet.

 

Do you use OLD to try to find a woman for a relationship or just meeting women for an evening? I'm old (as in not young) and I can't imagine selecting a partner for a relationship instantly, I'd like to hope it would be a process of a series of meetings and getting to know someone in different situations to see if we were compatible. This may not be for you, maybe you have a better gut instinct than most people.

[LookAtThisPOst]

This presumes that all people using OLD are completely truthful and transparent.

 

It seems from the above that "not being repulsive and having a decent job" are essential traits that give a person a great relationship skill set.

 

 

I have to kind of chuckle at this as I've seen quite a few women's profiles saying, "Must have job, have car, no jail record, don't do drugs, etc."

 

And facetiously I think, "WOW, I have done NONE of those, I'll DEFINITELY be a catch for her!"

 

Send her an email, no response. LOL

[normal person]

This presumes that all people using OLD are completely truthful and transparent.

 

I've met quite a lot of people online, only 1 of them willfully deceived me, to my knowledge.

 

It seems from the above that "not being repulsive and having a decent job" are essential traits that give a person a great relationship skill set.

 

As I said, it's a prerequisite most of the time. The real world is harsh, people have standards. It's not quite the indicator of a good relationship, it's making sure you meet the basic requirements. Kind of like a college requesting you submit your SAT scores before they accept you. Some score well enough on the SATs to get accepted, but that doesn't mean they still won't fail out of college for whatever reason. And then there are the others who didn't perform well on the SATs that could probably do pretty well in college but weren't given the chance.

 

The instant comments are interesting. It reminds me of those clay toys that you pour water on and grass grows out of it like fur. I can't remember the name but something pet.

 

Chia pets.

 

Do you use OLD to try to find a woman for a relationship or just meeting women for an evening? I'm old (as in not young) and I can't imagine selecting a partner for a relationship instantly, I'd like to hope it would be a process of a series of meetings and getting to know someone in different situations to see if we were compatible. This may not be for you, maybe you have a better gut instinct than most people.

 

 

You're right, you're not really selecting the partner for the relationship instantly. You got their SAT scores or application online and the first date is the entrance interview. I'm looking for a relationship but I'm picky and my standards are high. When trying to determine if I want to go out with a girl or not, I adjust my standards for things like the fact that you can't really get a sense of someone until you meet them in person, or that their profile might be a little too scarce, etc. I can usually tell pretty quickly whether or not I want to see someone again, but that's just me. Other people are different.

 

I really don't mind the experience. Sure, it takes up a little time and money but you can't win if you don't play. I've met a lot of interesting people who I never would've met otherwise, a few turned into something good for a while.

 

I have to kind of chuckle at this as I've seen quite a few women's profiles saying, "Must have job, have car, no jail record, don't do drugs, etc."

 

And facetiously I think, "WOW, I have done NONE of those, I'll DEFINITELY be a catch for her!"

 

Send her an email, no response. LOL

 

The mistake you make is thinking that these are her only criteria. She still has to actually like you. That really doesn't need to be said, does it? Just because she didn't write it doesn't mean it wasn't strongly implied. It's kind of like saying "please make sure you have a law degree before applying for this job as a lawyer." She's then going to pick amongst the prospective applicants with law degrees rather than have to also sift through an additional fifty guys who don't.

Edited July 2, 2016 by normal person

[LookAtThisPOst]

The problem is that 95 percent of the women are all competing for the same few men.

 

Yeah, I actually know this woman from both online and real life. Initially knew her from POF...emailed her then, no response of course.

 

She lives within' minutes from me, so I spotted her at a local Meetup group event. Chatted with her a bit and stuff, but figured why bother asking for her # if she ignored me online.

 

Anyhow, she's cute in the face, pretty eyes and smile, but over a period of time she put on some weight, so in a sense it was like I dodged a bullet.

 

There's a male friend I know, good looking guy, runs marathons...so is in good shape. Turns out she had an interest in him...he wasn't attracted to her for obvious reasons.

 

He's in great shape and it looks like she doesn't know what exercise even is.

 

A lot of women such themselves think they can bring less to the table and still expect MORE for a man to bring in return. It's like they price themselves out of the market.

[MGX]

I look at it like a horse race.

 

Pictures are the first fence they have to jump over. If you have bad pics, most will not get past the first hurdle. If you have great pics (ie. a low fence) then most will jump over it and move on to the next part.

 

Profile text is the second fence. If you have a bad profile text, even those who get past the first fence will fall here.

 

What you're saying is basically, if you have a tall first fence, it doesn't matter how low your 2nd fence is, because most won't get past the first fence anyway. That's true enough. But if your 2nd fence SUCKS, even if you lower the first fence (ie. improve your pics), they still won't get to the finish line, because they will still fall at the 2nd.

 

If you want anyone to get to the finish line, you need to have great pics AND great profile text.

 

I think you need great and UNUSUAL pictures ONLY. People took selfies, I posted professional glamor shots and stood out. When I was OLD, alot of chicks bypassed my text. I was pretty specific. Older women contacted me. Far away women contacted me. People with no pictures contacted me. Young girls contacted me. Everyone except for my target audience.