teenyfish Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Just thought this might be a good exercise for people. I did it on my phone and it really helped me. I'll start! I'll never have to worry about him lying to me and if he's talking to other women. (Surprise, he was). He didn't respect me. Don't have to worry about his drinking, and who he is out drinking with. Will never have to deal with him constantly on the phone and social media. All he ever talked about was his work. Very selfish lover. Did not treat his mother with respect. Could not have a platonic female friend. Obsessed with his online image. Obsessed with his appearance. Lied to me about sexual partners and being tested. Refused to be tested for over 2 years. Never wore protection. Has no problem going after women in relationships, and has cheated on almost every girlfriend. Pretends to have a big ego, but in reality has very little self esteem and needs constant validation. Would have been a horrible husband and father. Never once took responsibility for his actions. I wasn't very attracted to him. Very entitled. I have so much more, but I think I'll leave it at that for now! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SixxChick Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Nailed it. BRAVO!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity_84 Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 -I can do what I want instead of what they think I should do or what they want to do -I am not being taken for granted by anyone -I don't have to cringe at their fashion "style" anymore every day and think to myself "you need to accept them as they are, if you don't, it's shallow" -I can eat whatever I want -I am learning to take care of myself and my mental health without them -I don't have to be in a place I'm not truly happy in surrounded by people I don't actually truly like -I don't smoke or do drugs anymore off the top of my head 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 I get to have sex...all kinds...and lots of it 6 Link to post Share on other sites
TheSwanGirl Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 -I don't have to worry why I'm not good enough. -I am alone, but not lonely. He always left me to be all by myself. If I complained, he crushed my ego saying I was clingy. -I don't have to pretend I like football. -He doesn't respect his mother. -He never really cared about his family. -He was always saying bad things about MY family and my old friends. -He only had like three friends, everyone else thought he was a bad person. -He was mean to EVERYONE. He made very hurtful comments to everyone about everything. -Everything was about HIM. Never about me. Whenever I talked about me, he would turn the conversation to himself and how he felt about it. -He has Bukowski complex. I swear to god. -He never wanted to grow up, which is OK if you're being resposible while not growing up. -He took me for granted. -I was the only one to bring funny stuff to our sex life, he just rolled with it. -He never put me first. -I was NEVER his priority, while he was mine. Woah, I never thought I disliked all these things about him. Thanks for the exercise! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 my ex did some really wrong things.....i wasnt perfect either.....we had good times ....and really bad times..... I am better off not with him ...because being with him would mean never being with the guy who truly loves me.....and i deserve to be with that guy......deb Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 I do not have to deal with that beast anymore. Her temper, her unhappiness, her animated personality, none of that ****. The list can go on. Believe me. someone like her, I would send her off to italy to work the farm with my family there who are still old fashioned and teach her a few lessons about life, how to treat people etc. The animals in the jungle have more common sense than my ex. I am so glad that not all women are like that and that there is still hope in finding a REAL WOMAN. Go to church beast and pray. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SixxChick Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 I do not have to deal with that beast anymore. You call your ex a beast. I call mine the male anatomy part that starts with a "D". Honestly, in all my years on this planet, I couldn't have chosen a bigger D. Better things are on the horizon. Take care. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bummer Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 - I don't have to walk on broken glass. - I don't have to listen to excuses about depression or anxiety every day. - I'm not being cheated on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
keiji Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 There were good things for sure, and my imagination plays tricks on me and amplifies them, but: -I "lost" the most selfish person on this planet. I know you think that's your ex, but no. It's MY ex. -I don't have to put up with her tantrums whenever I didn't satisfy her whims, which was basically every day. -Outer beauty is not enough, and it expires anyway. -She didn't encourage me in my hobbies and endeavors, quite the opposite. She saw them as a threat (less time with her, etc.). -If I have to work a weekend here and there, I don't have to worry about her complaints. I guess she thought I like that part of freelancers' life. -I don't have to speak English 24 hours a day. It's fine by me, but an effort from her to learn Spanish after 5 years living here would have been nice. She wanted to marry me and the whole package but all she could tell my parents was "hola" and "gracias". -Her friends are boring and arrogant. What a bunch of idiots. -Sex was so-so. -She had no qualms in making the most cruel remarks but she'd get all tearful and upset when it was her turn to accept criticisms. -Did I mention she's the most selfish person on Earth? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
juniorrocha Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 What a nice thread! I often see people suggesting this, but having a place to share it is awesome. My turn. - Sex with her often left me wanting more; - I don't have to worry if she's cheating/flirting with other guys; - I feel free from all her lies and shady behavior; - I can talk to/meet old friends or whoever I want since her jealousy is not around; - I can put a ****load of onion (which I love) in my food; - I can find someone who is more open and communicative; - I don't have to deal with her insecurity in bed because of her body; - I have plenty of time now to work on my career and myself. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kristyxxbrickley24 Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Just thought this might be a good exercise for people. I did it on my phone and it really helped me. I'll start! I'll never have to worry about him lying to me and if he's talking to other women. (Surprise, he was). He didn't respect me. Don't have to worry about his drinking, and who he is out drinking with. Will never have to deal with him constantly on the phone and social media. All he ever talked about was his work. Very selfish lover. Did not treat his mother with respect. Could not have a platonic female friend. Obsessed with his online image. Obsessed with his appearance. Lied to me about sexual partners and being tested. Refused to be tested for over 2 years. Never wore protection. Has no problem going after women in relationships, and has cheated on almost every girlfriend. Pretends to have a big ego, but in reality has very little self esteem and needs constant validation. Would have been a horrible husband and father. Never once took responsibility for his actions. I wasn't very attracted to him. Very entitled. I have so much more, but I think I'll leave it at that for now! Yup.. Right on. Same here. Link to post Share on other sites
Traceycprc Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 (edited) I don't miss these, after she came on the scene and you claimed you were just friends! I don't get told what to do anymore, I can make my own decisions! He was very domineering. I feel good enough, I was never good enough for you, there was always something! I don't miss the rejection when I made advances, you always had an excuse. I supported you always, where was my rock? You were selfish, always about you. You never encouraged to do anything for myself, I wanted to join a photography class, it wasn't with you so it was rubbish. OK, please tell me why I'm even missing you or giving you a second thought? Why because I'm grieving the guy before she came along! No more, the above traits will always be remembered. Edited July 4, 2016 by Traceycprc 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BelleSkye Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 No more anxiety, No more fights about using the heater and coming home to an icy-cold flat / apartment, I lost interest in buying new clothes and more concerned about my health / looks, I don't have to see or hear about that ****ty sister of yours, I don't have to tolerate secondary smoke from your cigarette, I don't have to listen to my previous company's **** stories, I can finally eat the last slice of pizza, have the lamb chop or eat my favourite pieces of food without feeling guilty for not sharing, I can sit again next to the window seat on planes or trains, I can concentrate on learning new things instead of putting up with unnecessary fights or bad behaviour toward me, I live next to the ocean / sea now instead of a polluted dam, AND.... The dog is happier 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 You call your ex a beast. I call mine the male anatomy part that starts with a "D". Honestly, in all my years on this planet, I couldn't have chosen a bigger D. Better things are on the horizon. Take care. Lol. That was great. Hope we both find good people. I know calling her a beast is wrong. People tell me to forgive, don't get angry, etc. just be nice towards her and wish her well. No. I can't. When you made me believe that I was the one, that we were going to get married, then drop me? I cannot forget or forgive. Making her to even say she was my girl friend was a challenge. Like climbing mt Everest. The word gf brought her back to bad times. Guys that cheated and hit her. I should have walked away then. But stupid me I stayed. All that work I did for nothing. I just got hurt and used. I cannot fixed damaged goods. Only she can fix herself. I am a gentleman at all times. I am kind, respectful, honest and will make a good husband. But do not mis treat me, use me, lie to my face and treat me like dirty pair of shoes when I am going above and beyond for you, treating you like a queen, respecting your family and friends and being the best damn boy friend a woman will ever have. I did my best as a man. But I will wish the worse things on you and hope karma will come slap you in the face and bring you back down when you are at your peak in life. There will be no remorse. Zero. Italians are very warm people. We take things very personal and once you mess up, it's done. All this sounds harsh to some but not to me. You brought me pain, sadness, and wasted my time. You broke my heart ripped it in two and brushed it off like ehhh, whatever. I was home crying and crying and felt lost for months. May it come back to you in 10 fold. Unfortunately, some people do get away with being evil. They get away with a lot of things. So even if karma never gets them, deep down inside, those people are hurting and suffering. . They may think they are fine. It's just a act. Until these people fix themselves, they will never be happy and keep spiraling down that empty hole. I for sure, will not lend my hand. I will watch you go down that pit. Some break ups end up ok. No lying, nothing bad happened, no false hope just weren't compatible. Fine. God bless and move on. But when wrong is done and you make people suffer , that's not ok and hope you get what you deserve. Love, hate me, agree or disagree, this is who I am and my opinion. Nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
freebird31 Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 It's not that I'm better off without him. It's that it has been so long 3 years to be exact since the relationship ended. And we are most likely both different people than who we were 3 years ago. But I'm better off moving forward, continuing growing, and finding someone who is better suited for the person I am today. Link to post Share on other sites
Trinity_84 Posted July 6, 2016 Share Posted July 6, 2016 After a bit of introspection due to this thread, I realized that my post sounded incredibly bitter. My ex never forced anything upon me, on the contrary, they supported all my decisions. They were mostly really good people, with good strong values and opinions, and a good outlook on life. They tried to make me see the light, but I wasn't ready, so I broke up with them after a couple of months of bad fights...which were brought on mostly by me from my insecurities and low self esteem. So, in a sense, I am better off now, because without them I was forced to see the light, so to speak, realize what I gave up due to my own issues, and realized I needed to seek help to treat them. That's probably the only way I am better off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toastytiger Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 - I don't have to feel pressured to grow up faster or be someone I'm not - I don't have be in a relationship where I never feel good enough - I don't have to deal with someone who is so moody, confusing, and contradictory - I can meet someone now who is capable of committing to me - I don't have to worry about being with a man so much older than me (yet very immature) - He was deceptive and manipulative - He was so needy for appreciation - I won't have to worry about being compared to other women or being cheated on - I don't have to deal with his perfectionism and critical nature - I can be with someone else who I can actually trust and feel confident with! This was good to list out (& I could add more too!) I have been beginning to idealize my ex again! Ugh.. if only I didn't miss the sex so much. Maybe it's the addictive part of me. How can I stop over-idealizing the physical intimacy? I had even started dating someone new and was comparing his body and his touch to my ex's. Gah! Link to post Share on other sites
Heart..PLS STAHP Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 - I don't have to feel pressured to grow up faster or be someone I'm not Agree with you there! Right on spot! I feel the same way! if only I didn't miss the sex so much. Maybe it's the addictive part of me. How can I stop over-idealizing the physical intimacy? I had even started dating someone new and was comparing his body and his touch to my ex's. Gah! Honestly this is a hard part for me too I never know why I feel the need to have sex so so much! My libido is off the charts especially now that I don't get it regularly. As a man of 26 I feel now that she left me I can't have physical intimacy as a way to calm my urges. I haven't gone as far as comparing somebody else's body as I haven't slept with another woman beside her even after the break up though I may like that to be perfectly honest. Right on spot again I give you that! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NIGHT1985 Posted July 8, 2016 Share Posted July 8, 2016 Because she's happier with her new guy. Link to post Share on other sites
SeanDylan Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 Why am I better off? I no longer need to feel like an object. I have worth. I no longer need to live a lie where her happiness was my problem, and my happiness was so dependent on hers. I can let go of my shame and guilt. I can acknowledge that she never wanted to be with me and I was a 19 year pity lay. I can figure out who I am. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 No holes in the walls in the house I live in plus nearly two decades of child support. Link to post Share on other sites
Chen12 Posted July 16, 2016 Share Posted July 16, 2016 * Don't have to worry about what he is doing when Im not with him * Dont have to worry about where I stand with him and if he is going to suddenly change his mind about loving me and breaking up with me * Don't have to worry about giving him endless amounts of oral sex even though he never cleaned up properly * Don't have to worry about being grossed out by him using coke in front of me * Don't have to worry about showing him to my friends and family and worry about what they thought of his physical appearance (My ex was ugly and extremely skinny... but I didn't care because I loved him at the time) * Don't have to worry about people judging me based off of my choice of boyfriend *Don't have to worry about doing something to upset him *Don't have to worry about him looking at porn and talking to women online *Don't have to worry about him getting upset and taking it out on me *Don't have to worry about being forced to have sex even if I don't want to * Don't have to worry about what his parents and family thought of me * Don't have to worry about his disrespectful boss * Don't have to worry about him calling me "F****** R******* and fat" even though I weigh 130 and am no where near being fat *Don't have to worry about how I can't concentrate on school because I can't stop crying *Don't have to worry about how I was going to juggle my free time between him and my friends * Don't have to worry about how he was going to hurt me again. ... The hurt is long gone and Im free now Link to post Share on other sites
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