Question About Energy/Attraction

[circlesinfinity]

There is something I have always wondered and used to joke about with my mom.

 

Why is it once someone enters a serious relationship, is when others take an interest in them?

 

I mean they start to get the attention they once desired as a single person, this can be from people who are close to them or even strangers.

 

What is going on that makes people suddenly attracted to them?

[jen1447]

You tend to exude a palpable, positive sexual and social energy when you're active sexually and engaged in a meaningful social exchange that by its nature makes you sharpen your social skills and develop a broader appeal.

 

Also pheromones.

[circlesinfinity]

You tend to exude a palpable, positive sexual and social energy when you're active sexually and engaged in a meaningful social exchange that by its nature makes you sharpen your social skills and develop a broader appeal.

 

Also pheromones.

Thank you, that is really good to know. I never looked into pheromones, I've only heard it mentioned.

[thecd]

I agree with what has been said above but there are a few other factors to consider...

 

-It is often human nature to want what you can't have (the forbidden fruit).

 

-Sperm wars. Our bodies are programmed to reproduce and behave in a way to facilitate the continuation of our species, not necessarily our own interests (despite "free will"). A female's body wants the best candidate for her egg and of the millions of sperm only 1 (usually) gets through. It is a misunderstanding to believe men are all horn dogs (although yes there are some) when they are literally wired to spread their seeds as often as much as possible. This is our genetic programming. The argument made by traditional biologists essentially claims that monogamy is not normal, and that it is actually completely normal to always be looking for the best candidate for your baby. And you won't go to hell either.

 

-Jealousy, which is usually routed in resentment and lack of forgiveness towards self for whatever reason(s). When you have everything you need there is no reason to look further.

 

-Some will go as far to argue that women are more jealous then men overall. I don't agree with that, BUT next time you go to a public area just have a seat on the bench and watch people. Watch how people look at other people. Make up your own conclusions.

 

Contrary to popular culture, there is an observed pathology out there that is destroying our civilization and which although we tend to label as a form of codependency, is actually just rooted in a lack of self-love, or some form of fear of isolation....:

 

You don't need nobody my friend and when you fully love yourself unconditionally all the time and people see that, you attract all sorts of awesome ****. Suddenly everywhere you go you bring light, passion...and people are attracted to that.

Edited June 30, 2016 by thecd

[circlesinfinity]

I agree with what has been said above but there are a few other factors to consider...

 

-It is often human nature to want what you can't have (the forbidden fruit).

 

-Sperm wars. Our bodies are programmed to reproduce and behave in a way to facilitate the continuation of our species, not necessarily our own interests (despite "free will"). A female's body wants the best candidate for her egg and of the millions of sperm only 1 (usually) gets through. It is a misunderstanding to believe men are all horn dogs (although yes there are some) when they are literally wired to spread their seeds as often as much as possible. This is our genetic programming. The argument made by traditional biologists essentially claims that monogamy is not normal, and that it is actually completely normal to always be looking for the best candidate for your baby. And you won't go to hell either.

 

-Jealousy, which is usually routed in resentment and lack of forgiveness towards self for whatever reason(s). When you have everything you need there is no reason to look further.

 

-Some will go as far to argue that women are more jealous then men overall. I don't agree with that, BUT next time you go to a public area just have a seat on the bench and watch people. Watch how people look at other people. Make up your own conclusions.

 

Contrary to popular culture, there is an observed pathology out there that is destroying our civilization and which although we tend to label as a form of codependency, is actually just rooted in a lack of self-love, or some form of fear of isolation....:

 

You don't need nobody my friend and when you fully love yourself unconditionally all the time and people see that, you attract all sorts of awesome ****. Suddenly everywhere you go you bring light, passion...and people are attracted to that.

 

 

Thank you so much

[spiderowl]

I think perhaps that someone in a happy relationship just seems more relaxed and confident. With someone who wants a relationship, there is a tension which both parties sense and which can ruin things. I might happily chat to a guy who was attached and just wanted social conversation whereas I would be less likely to engage in a relaxed conversation with an unattached guy who I thought might take it as me chatting him up. I wouldn't like him to get the wrong idea if I am not sure about him or I am not attracted to him. Even if I was attracted to a single guy, I would be concerned about how I came across and would probably not engage with him for that reason. It doesn't make sense i know