sc0316 Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 I've read from here that, for online dating, a guy often has to send out tens of messages just to receive a few replies. If you are a guy and you receive a first message from a woman, when do you decide to reply or not to reply? Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 I always reply, even if it's to say we're not a match. I even do that when it's clearly a scammer (if I think that, I WILL report them). I won't reply (or reply in kind) if it's a nasty message for whatever reason. BTW, I rarely initiate messages, so I don't get may contacts - that works well for me, as the REAL contacts are worth my time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sc0316 Posted July 6, 2016 Author Share Posted July 6, 2016 Thanks for responding to my post, Central. I asked this question because one would assume guys would be more receptive to replying to first messages (since they often don't get many). Link to post Share on other sites
Hyperion227 Posted July 6, 2016 Share Posted July 6, 2016 I've read from here that, for online dating, a guy often has to send out tens of messages just to receive a few replies. If you are a guy and you receive a first message from a woman, when do you decide to reply or not to reply? Hahaha. The only messages I ever got on internet dating were adverts for porn sites, prostitutes or invites to singles nights 100 miles away. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted July 6, 2016 Share Posted July 6, 2016 Thanks for responding to my post, Central. I asked this question because one would assume guys would be more receptive to replying to first messages (since they often don't get many). Guys will reply if they're interested. In that sense, it's not any different than when woman reply. Just keep in mind that if you're looking for a long term relationship, don't assume the guy replying is looking for the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sc0316 Posted July 6, 2016 Author Share Posted July 6, 2016 Thanks for the insight. But isn't this true even if the guy is the one who initiates the first message (regarding your point that he might be looking for a casual relationship)? My real concern is that the guy may reply simply because it's rare for women to initiate the first message, not because he is actually interested. Guys will reply if they're interested. In that sense, it's not any different than when woman reply. Just keep in mind that if you're looking for a long term relationship, don't assume the guy replying is looking for the same thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted July 6, 2016 Share Posted July 6, 2016 Whenever you feel like. Keep it natural. I screwed up a few times online. I didn't check Tinder for days or weeks at a time, and I think I screwed up a few good leads because of it. If you have your mentality right, you won't mind too much. Message whenever is convenient for you. Whether that's 1 minute later, or 1 week. My real concern is that the guy may reply simply because it's rare for women to initiate the first message, not because he is actually interested. ? I don't get this at all. You are either attracted, or you aren't. Easy decision. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 If she sends it in the morning, at least wait until evening to respond. Otherwise, anything else is fine, in my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sc0316 Posted July 7, 2016 Author Share Posted July 7, 2016 If she sends it in the morning, at least wait until evening to respond. Otherwise, anything else is fine, in my experience. Sorry for the confusion, Jordan1 and Normal Person, but the "when" in my title actually means "under what conditions" (e.g., do you reply only if she's attractive enough?) Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 (edited) Sorry for the confusion, Jordan1 and Normal Person, but the "when" in my title actually means "under what conditions" (e.g., do you reply only if she's attractive enough?) Conditions where I reply: 1). She meets enough of my criteria that I actually want to go out with her ex: playful, funny response, give me your number and I'll take you out later in the week 2). I don't want to go out with her, but she wrote a well-conceived, thoughtful, elaborate message and I'd feel bad not responding to her, so I say I can't go out with her for circumstantial reasons, ex: "Thanks for your message, and yes (something she referenced in my profile). Anyways, while I do appreciate it, I see live all the way out there in Long Island and I'm trying to keep it to the city for simplicity/time's sake. Best of luck!" 3). Her profile is full of messaging provisos and warnings that you shouldn't burden her with your message unless you're essentially perfect and surpass all her criteria, implying that she's some goddess who can't be gazed upon by commoners (especially if she's not even particularly that great herself), ex: "Thanks for your message, but your profile isn't much more than a giant warning advising people to never message you, so you can understand my reluctance in responding here. Best of luck with all that." And maybe a few others here and there. Edited July 7, 2016 by normal person 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted July 7, 2016 Share Posted July 7, 2016 I've read from here that, for online dating, a guy often has to send out tens of messages just to receive a few replies. If you are a guy and you receive a first message from a woman, when do you decide to reply or not to reply? When I did OLD, I got very few favorites or messages first. So I took on all comers. Towards the end, there was a woman who favorited/liked me who wasn't all that physically attractive to me from the pics and I was already in the initial stages of dating somebody I was kinda digging so I didn't reply. But if that wasn't the case, I'd have messaged her. As far as when, it didn't matter. I'm pretty sure all of them got back to me. Again, we're talking about a very, very small sample size here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts