mortensorchid Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 I had dinner with a buddy of mine tonight. He just got divorced officially as of yesterday. He was fine with it. I have known him for a few years, he and I are completely different people, and our friendship was something that was just meant to be, but that's another thread. I realized something wasn't right on Christmas Day 2015. Since he's a Muslim and not doing anything on said day and I was alone as well, I said we're going to have a non-gentile's Christmas Day and go out for Chinese food and a movie. On that day I asked him "Is your wife cool with this?". He had gotten married about two years before, I've never met his wife (and never will), and had no idea if he had even mentioned her to me in a conversation before. He said "She's in Pakistan." I said "That's not what I'm asking, what I'm asking is if she's cool with this." He said she probably wouldn't care. There are certain cultural differences at work here : He's originally from Pakistan and fully Americanized. His was an arranged marriage (he was allowed to meet five women, he chose from the five which he wanted after meeting them) which their parents set up. When he moved here with her, it took her a few months to get settled (driver's license, permit to work, etc.) and she didn't have any friends, social life, etc. and relied on him to provide that for her. They did little but fight the whole time during their marriage, last Christmas she left for Pakistan and he later told me he hoped she would not return. When she did, her father came with and said she wanted a divorce rather than her telling him by herself. I asked him the burning question that wasn't my business: Why did you do this? His answer was that he wanted to get married for the sake of doing it, he wanted a change, and this was the way he wanted to change himself. Odd? I suppose not. Many people want to change or hope that one day they will get married, and many people jump into things just like that. I have encountered people like this who do just that and they end up burned or taken advantage of. I said I was sorry to hear this. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 His answer was that he wanted to get married for the sake of doing it, he wanted a change, and this was the way he wanted to change himself. Odd? I suppose not. Many people want to change or hope that one day they will get married, and many people jump into things just like that. I have encountered people like this who do just that and they end up burned or taken advantage of. I said I was sorry to hear this. Interesting story but I'd guess arranged marriages fall just as randomly across the "happiness" spectrum as planned ones. I'm good friends with one couple and "friends of friends" with another whose marriages were arranged in India, both have strong, enduring and happy relationships... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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