OLD: What provokes the wrong kind of attention?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Had been browsing the profiles lately and came across this woman's profile. Don't get me wrong, 2 of the 3 photos were okay, but one was kind of sexually suggestive.

 

So I'm wondering at what angles and presentation would grab the wrong kind of attention, because she had in ALL CAPS that she's "not here for hookups!!"

 

Anyways, she had one photo with a low-cut V-neck shirt and an rather close-up selfie. Her ample cleavage pretty obvious as a close-up, but I had to chuckle at the disclaimer about not wanting hook-ups, considering her screen name and suggestive photo.

 

Of course, she may not think it's suggestive, but it's all about perspective, is it not? How you're being perceived?

 

So let's kind of give a run down of what may or what you may think may be sexually suggestive.

 

1. Bikini selfie in the house/bathroom vs. Bikini at the beach or pool side (less suggestive?)

 

2. Above the head selfie shot, showing ample cleavage with kissy lips (the one I describe had more of a alluring look and smile, but no duck face going on.

 

3. Further away photo, standing with butt to the camera, but looking backwards innocently, back arched. (Some do this in selfie shots in the mirror)

 

I'm trying to figure out where the line is drawn on whether or not on how people present themselves.

 

Sometimes I see women state in their ads that they don't want to see shirtless men either.

 

Thoughts?

Edited July 2, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
personal info ~T

[BlueIris]

Personally, I don’t think it’s wise to advertise how sexy your body is but I can understand why people do it now since SO MUCH importance is placed on weight, bodies and sex these days.

 

I’ve been on first meets from OLD where men expressed their disappointment that I wasn’t wearing clothing tight or revealing enough for them to assess my figure. Of course I left rather quickly. I wouldn’t date anyone so crass and tactless. I don’t say why I decide that we're not a good match and all that, because I hate the endless debating about chemistry, sex and attraction. I don’t care and don’t want to hear it any more.

 

So I understand why women do it. Many mainstream men these days obsess about weight, bodies, instant "chemistry," and I think lots of women see it as a catch-22.

 

ETA: I should add that even if your photo shows you in a sheath dress and heels, certain people say the exact some things they say to people in bikinis.

Edited July 1, 2016 by BlueIris

[Ensam]

All of your examples could be sexually suggestive in my opinion. I usually go by what it stated on their profiles. The ones open for hookups usually don't have a presentation or they have a presentation that deals very little with what they're looking for in terms of a partner. Of course some are also blatantly open about just wanting some fun.

 

I think out of all the women I've known (acquaintances, friends, love interests etc) maybe 1 or 2 hasn't constantly displayed cleavage or their butt in photos. It's just something I take for granted most women do regardless of what they're after.

[King Me]

Had been browsing the profiles lately and came across this woman's profile. Don't get me wrong, 2 of the 3 photos were okay, but one was kind of sexually suggestive.

 

So I'm wondering at what angles and presentation would grab the wrong kind of attention, because she had in ALL CAPS that she's "not here for hookups!!"

 

Anyways, she had one photo with a low-cut V-neck shirt and an rather close-up selfie. Her ample cleavage pretty obvious as a close-up, but I had to chuckle at the disclaimer about not wanting hook-ups, considering her screen name and suggestive photo.

 

I personally know women who dress very sexily and, still, are not looking for hookups.

 

Hard as it is to conceive of it, it happens.

[thefooloftheyear]

I dont see anything wrong with it....I mean, unless she is holding a banana or cucumber in the same photo, I don't see anything wrong with it...

 

I mean a bathroom selfie with underwear isn't the same as a pic in a bikini at the beach...

 

Show others what you have....get it right out there so there is no uncertainty..No different for guys...I'm quite sure a woman would be disappointed if all pics of a guy were taken to deliberately not show a beer gut..

 

Its kinda shallow to say it, but really don't most relationships begin with a physical attraction to someone else.??

 

TFY

[King Me]

 

Show others what you have....get it right out there so there is no uncertainty..No different for guys...I'm quite sure a woman would be disappointed if all pics of a guy were taken to deliberately not show a beer gut..

 

I agree. I'm having trouble understanding how a person showing off their good physical attributes would equal looking for a hookup.

[ChickiePops]

Not everyone will have the same idea of what equates to the 'wrong' kind of attention. If it bothers you, don't message her.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I mean a bathroom selfie with underwear isn't the same as a pic in a bikini at the beach...

 

This reminds me, a local woman, every single picture she had taken was in some kind of changing room in a department store, trying out lingerie of some sort or sports bra and panties, taking a picture in each one.

 

You can tell they are on the site for attention then actually meeting.

[King Me]

This reminds me, a local woman, every single picture she had taken was in some kind of changing room in a department store, trying out lingerie of some sort or sports bra and panties, taking a picture in each one.

 

You can tell they are on the site for attention then actually meeting.

How can you tell that they aren't looking for attention in real life as well? And they're probably getting it.

[LookAtThisPOst]

How can you tell that they aren't looking for attention in real life as well? And they're probably getting it.

 

That rather goes without saying. Kind of stating the obvious, obviously.

[King Me]

That rather goes without saying. Kind of stating the obvious, obviously.

Didn't you just say they weren't interested in actually meeting? You know, man, your personal experiences with the hundreds of women you are writing about only give insight about you. None about these women, who are all living their lives in ways you have absolutely no clue about.

 

Have you ever given any consideration to the reasons you have such troubles forming connections with women?

[LookAtThisPOst]

 

Have you ever given any consideration to the reasons you have such troubles forming connections with women?

 

We're not talking about me here, let's stick to the topic.

[King Me]

We're not talking about me here, let's stick to the topic.

Ok, sorry, back to the topic:

 

A woman showing off her attractive attributes may be looking for a hookup but if she says she's not, you're probably wasting your time trying to hit her up for one. My best guess is that she's looking for a man who finds her physically appealing.

 

Personally, I don't find a bathing suit shot "sexually suggestive." Most of us do wear them out in public on a regular basis. I also enjoy sexy looking women. If I were looking, I would definitely respond to an attractive, sexy looking woman more than one who was not. That said, a duck face or porn star presentation are not attractive to me so I'd give those a pass.

 

Where I'd draw the line is at analyzing these women because of their profiles and pictures. I'd just be concerned with whether I wanted to approach them or not.

[Imajerk17]

 

Anyways, she had one photo with a low-cut V-neck shirt and an rather close-up selfie. Her ample cleavage pretty obvious as a close-up, but I had to chuckle at the disclaimer about not wanting hook-ups, considering her screen name and suggestive photo.

 

Of course, she may not think it's suggestive, but it's all about perspective, is it not? How you're being perceived?

 

What's so wrong with being "suggestive" again? Even if you are looking for a relationship, I'm not sure why you'd want to take the time and energy to go on a romantic date with someone if you couldn't imagine yourself eventually wanting to have sex with them

 

It all starts with attraction, even serious committed relationships, and the woman who is the subject of this thread probably realizes this and so she is putting up some alluring pictures of herself.

 

 

So let's kind of give a run down of what may or what you may think may be sexually suggestive.

 

1. Bikini selfie in the house/bathroom vs. Bikini at the beach or pool side (less suggestive?)

 

2. Above the head selfie shot, showing ample cleavage with kissy lips (the one I describe had more of a alluring look and smile, but no duck face going on.

 

3. Further away photo, standing with butt to the camera, but looking backwards innocently, back arched. (Some do this in selfie shots in the mirror)

 

I'm trying to figure out where the line is drawn on whether or not on how people present themselves.

I'm not seeing the point in trying to figure "where the line is drawn" in the first place though. In fact, the way I see it, there isn't even this line you speak of. As long as the moderators at POF (or Match or OKC) are OK with it and haven't banned her profile, then there really isn't a problem.

 

If you are asking about personal tastes, I've written (and met up with) women who have bikini pictures of themselves in their house getting ready for dates. It's really a case-by-case basis. I have decided not to write women where the reason was because they seemed to have too many guy friends that they were too close with or whatever, but I don't think these women really cared that I didn't write them.

 

Why not? If this woman is anything like myself, she probably doesn't think too much about how whether someone feels her profile is appropriate or not unless she is actually interested in that person. She is looking to find herself a match, not to win profile approval.

Edited July 4, 2016 by Imajerk17

[basil67]

So it's only OK for a woman to be sexy if she's looking for a hookup? There's no room for sexiness in a proper relationship?

[brothers343]

I personally know women who dress very sexily and, still, are not looking for hookups.

 

Hard as it is to conceive of it, it happens.

 

I agree with this statement. My wife has very beautiful friends and they like to show there bodies, these are professional woman, classy woman and thats there way of feeling beautiful. Some are married, some have boyfriends and some aren't looking for anything. It's just there personality. This days everything and anything can be misconstrued. Man are the same.....what woman doesn't like seeing a good looking guy with a nice body dressed like he belongs some where. It's all part of that animal instinct that humans are born with.