kissed Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 So I wrote on here a while back on being a 33 year old who has never been in a relationship. It totally took some comments on board when it was suggested I needed to see a therapist to help me break down walls. I totally have 10 foot high walls around me and just can't seem to let men in at all. So I found this charity that offers therapy at a discounted price and got in touch. They booked me a appointment with a therapist called 'Andi' I guess I just assumed this would be a woman. When I walked in it was a man. I have no idea why but this is making me totally uncomfortable. I guess I could call them and explain and ask if they have a female relationship specialist, but one part of me figures if I cannot open up to a male therapist then how do I open up to a potential boyfriend? Right? Would it maybe be good for me to overcome how uncomfortable I am with a male therapist? I guess the whole issue is that I am comfortable around women and having a comforting female therapist wouldn't push me to figure out what issue I have going on with men. But then what if I feel so uncomfortable I just don't open up at all and that would be a waste of everybody's time and my money. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 Why don't you try it for a while and see what happens? I have a male therapist and I love him (not IN love with him, obviously). I think it's good sometime to get an outside perspective on things. At this point (I've seen him almost two years), talking to him is like talking to a girlfriend. He's trained to hear everything, so it's not weird at all. I say give it a go. Considering your issues, it may be beneficial. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 As losangelena said, you could try it and see how it goes. I'd also recommend that you tell your therapist your concerns about seeing a male. It might well turn out to be a good thing. See how it goes. Take care, and good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 This is a fairly common thing. I don't think a female therapist would not push you to explore your issues with men. A good one would. Therapy requires a level of trust, honesty and vulnerability and for you to build rapport so you can eventually work on stuff. If you're uncomfortable, that defeats the purpose and you will simply spend more money and more time building trust with this man instead of getting to the root of your issue. Him being male alone will not help you to work on whatever issues with men you have... You are free to ask for a female therapist and you can explain this to her. After some time working together you may eventually work yourself up to being fine with a male therapist, but your reason for sticking with the male one because he represents your problem, doesn't really match the therapeutic model therapists have...it's not exposure therapy after all Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 1, 2016 Share Posted July 1, 2016 I'd tell your therapist how you feel. He may use the information to help you - or he might recommend a female therapist. Either way, telling him will be a good thing. Link to post Share on other sites
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