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another night out, no luck


blackpool-lad

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blackpool-lad

If you get sick of listening to my sob stories just let me know, I do find it usefull to voice my thoughts, it gets it straigter in my head when I can here other peoples views.

I went out the other night, I've started going out by myself on some of the nights when I can't drag a friend out with me. I'm now quite comfortable standing in my favourite bars by myself, granted they are usually so busy that you don't get noticed in the same way you would standing in a bar with a dozen people in it, I find it's kind of easier this way.

I got stood on a couple of times and had a couple of laughs with girls, but mainly it was an involuntary smile and embarrasment of them bieng clumsy rather than an opener on their part...I smiled back and that was that. One girl stood on my foot, and turned around the wrong way appologising to some girl who was stood next to me, "no it was my foot" I said, and pretended to be half cripled with pain holding onto my injured foot, again, a funny situation at the time, it got me no more than a smile and an appology. If I see the same girl next time in the bar I'll be sure to say hi whilst dragging my 'dead' foot as I walk past ! The bar I like is just too damn loud to get into an easy conversation, a few words and it would quickly become tiresome.....but it's still one of the most popular bars in the town and one which my type of girl goes into.

In the bar across the road, again I'm perched near the edge of the dancefloor nursing my drink when a girl (not one that I thought was a suitable target however) wanders in front of me as she is dancing, she works her way back slowly (me feeling uncomfortable at the time) untill she nearly falls on me, after standing on my foot (yes the same foot again !) she turns and does the same "oops, sorry".......actually I don't think she said anything, she just motioned sorry with her hand stepped forward away from me and continued dancing...end of.

There's always next week, failing that 'speed-dating', failing that 'Thailand'

 

 

Cheers - Paul

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ReluctantRomeo

IMO you're not gonna have much luck this way. Try joining a club (and not some male activity) and broaden your social circle (including males).

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Yup, Romeo is right. Bars are a terrible place to meet people. They are only for those who actually feel comfortable there. Do get involved with something that you enjoy that also has lots of female participation (monster truck rallies will probably not cut it). Try horses, political action groups, animal welfare, evening language or art classes, environmental activities, etc. Try out your crisp white T-shirt and tasteful hairdos on the young ladies doing pottery and saving the whales.

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ReluctantRomeo
Originally posted by SoleMate

Try out your crisp white T-shirt and tasteful hairdos on the young ladies doing pottery and saving the whales.

 

Woohoo! :bunny:

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I think you should get out of the bar and into some clubs or hobbies.

Also, is online dating big in England?

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broken guy

I'm from Manchester and if your trying to pick girls up in BLACKPOOL BARS then you are insane! I knew, even when I was 10 years old, that I would never find my perfect girl in a bar/nightclub. SHe would just come to me one day in a weird place, she did (an aeroplane) but I lost her in the end. If you want a girl, dont bother with the bars, they are where friends go to hang out and nt to pick up, the best you can hope for is a drunken snog!

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nightskyreader

In the south, we go to family reunions to pick up chicks. j/k Seriously, surround yourself with more guy friends. When I was in the dating scene, I met more girls through my friends than any other source. Of course, I ended up marrying one of them and that's why I am in the current situation that I'm in... hmm... maybe you should stay in the bars. Better yet, find yourself a good hobby and just stick to that. Screw relationships. ;)

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ReluctantRomeo
Originally posted by nightskyreader

I met more girls through my friends than any other source.

 

Another good tip.

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drgnflybethany
Originally posted by blackpool-lad

There's always next week, failing that 'speed-dating', failing that 'Thailand'

 

My Dad recently told me, "Try not to think of life as a pass/fail thing.."

 

I'm still trying to work that out in my head.

 

However, I'm going to say what everyone else here already has - Do not try to find a woman in a bar... First off, when I'm at a bar, I think the guys there are only wanting to pursue a one night stand...

 

Clubs (as in social groups) are good way to find new people.. also, why not head to a coffee shop with wi-fi and a laptop - or a newspaper/magazine/book and just hang out...

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blackpool-lad

thanks for the advice, it really does help, and obviously I agree, a varied social life etc, and more male mates is likely to create a bigger social circle.

Tricky thing is thinking of things to get invloved in. You've given a few usefull tips, I'll check out some of the stuff in my local area

I'm still gonna go to the bars, I do spot (although not spoken to yet) the same girls each week, maybe I've got a little hope, but agreed, It's not one of the better places, as long as it's not my sole effort, it does no harm, and It gives me a way to wind down after the working week.

 

Cheers - Paul

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blackpool-lad

Kind of obvious really, but I read on the internet recently. Said that no ones going to knock on your door, staying at home is useless. It said two thing :-

 

1, Go Out

2, Join, Join, Join

 

 

It said go out everywhere and anywhere. Shopping, supermarkets, the library, walking the highstreet, the local park, as in 'anywhere' outside the house

It said join at college, nightschool, volunteer, social clubs, dancing, sports clubs, gym, or get an evening job etc,

 

 

quite where I'm gonna get the time to do this stuff on top of a full time job I'm not quite sure !

 

 

 

Paul

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ReluctantRomeo
Originally posted by blackpool-lad

quite where I'm gonna get the time to do this stuff on top of a full time job I'm not quite sure !

 

Well, Paul, do you have time for a relationship then? Girls can be pretty time consuming. Way more than volunteering once or twice a week ;)

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johnnysparks
Originally posted by blackpool-lad

I'm now quite comfortable standing in my favourite bars by myself, granted they are usually so busy that you don't get noticed in the same way you would standing in a bar with a dozen people in it, I find it's kind of easier this way.

This is a good sign, I started purposely leaving my rowdy bunch behind from time to time just to get out there and meet people. Now it was said previous to my reply that a Bar is generally not a good place to find quality people, this is true by a much greater margin than it is to be false. But there are a few gems you meet from time to time at a watering hole, they're usually just like you, looking for someone good in a bar. But mostly people are looking to "hook-up", and if that's what your into, I suggest Vice Magazine, but if your really looking to meet people with potential you may find different places to scout for love.

 

Originally posted by blackpool-lad

... after standing on my foot (yes the same foot again !) ...

This is why I opted to start wearing some steel toed knock-offs of the low top Doc Martins, those busy bars can be ruthless with stumbling patrons wearing two left shoes.

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