future Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 I'm one year out of a divorce and I'm also a college professor for starters. I have a private crush on a student in one of my summer courses. She's younger than I am and has a three year old from a previous marriage. I don't know whether to say something to her, like ask her to lunch or something, or just do nothing and always wonder what could have been. The only reason that I feel like even asking her out is that she usually is the last person to leave my classroom and always seems to have something on her mind to talk to me about. Typically, most of my students run out of the class to beat the traffic so I don't know what to think of this girl's behavior. I don't want to put too much into thinking that she might feel the same about just because she's casually talked to me after class but she made it a point to tell me that she was divorced and had dated a few people but didn't really say anything more. So anyone got any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 What is your school's policy on dating students? If nothing else, you can forge a friendship with her (meeting for coffee, etc) while getting to know her and then moving on to a more dating type relationship when the term is over and she is not on your roster. If its looking like its moving in a dating direction, just let her know what the policy is and that you'll have to - to some extent - follow that guideline. The last thing you need is some other students in the class becoming resentful over the 'teacher's pet' and filing a complaint. Link to post Share on other sites
scarlyjones Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 bad move.....Id wait til shes atleast not in your class anymore.... other students could get resentful, jealous,...........this girl may begin to expect favors.....or worse yet, she trys to USE your feelings to her advantage. These are all "worst-case senario" things I know, but, they are enough to me to simply wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Nicholas Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 just do nothing and always wonder what could have been If you must know what could have been, take up a relationship with her after she's completed your class. If it's not a breach of school policy, it's certainly a breach of proffessional ethics. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy_grl Posted June 27, 2005 Share Posted June 27, 2005 I'd suggest you don't even start a friendship with her if she's in your class. That would look really bad for you. Even if you know you're just friends, other people might not see it that way. How would it look if another student or the dean/president/whatever of your school saw you two out together? After the class is over, if you know she's not going to have to take one of your classes again, you can ask her out for coffee and be friends. Then you can get an idea of whether she's interested in dating, but I wouldn't actually try dating until either you're no longer teaching there or she's no longer enrolled (graduates, transfers, etc.). Link to post Share on other sites
Author future Posted June 28, 2005 Author Share Posted June 28, 2005 The semester ends July 5th and I wasn't going to say anything to her until after that date, if I do at all. I already know that I won't have her in anymore of my classes and she's transferring to a different university, local, but different nonetheless. I guess I should have stated that in my first post. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 28, 2005 Share Posted June 28, 2005 I see no reason not to go for it! Link to post Share on other sites
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