My Fiance is broke and not trying

[Patient]

Hey Guys. So I have a issue. Me and my fiance have been together for 6 years but Ive known him since teenage years. I am currently pregnant with his son. Throughout our relationship hes gotten jobs but never seem to be able to keep them. His last job he quit because after child support he never had much left. Anyway he lost his car and we shared mine. Ive had many conversations with him about getting a job or being able to help but he still hadnt gotten a job. I would get my paycheck and he would expect me to give him money everyday. I finally lost it when i got a ticket in the mail for him running the tolls not once but twice and we broke up because of it. He had ran a toll before and I paid the fine. I just got tired of supporting him when it seemed he made no effort to help me financially. He helped other ways but monetarily he didnt. We have a baby coming and working on trying to find a house before baby comes. I feel bad for breaking up with him did I do right? Should I have been more patient? What do I do. I just feel he is irresponsible.

[Mr. Lucky]

His last job he quit because after child support he never had much left.

 

Is the support for another child? If so, should have at least been a cautionary note - if he's not supporting that child, why expect him to support yours?

 

You might also start thinking about the legal measures you'll need to get him to meet his financial obligations once your child is born. Doesn't sound like he'll comply willingly.

 

You're not unreasonable for wanting a working partner in life. At this point, is he a fiance or "ex" fiance ???

 

Mr. Lucky

[MJJean]

I was briefly married to a guy who sounds very similar. I married him because I had just given birth to my oldest. I accidentally got pregnant during the marriage and had a 2nd child.

 

The day the divorce was final was one of the happiest days of my life.

 

Trust me, you did the right thing. You do not want a "man" like that as your sons example of manhood.

 

BTW, my exH is currently over $200,000.00 in child support arrears. He quit jobs to avoid paying support for his son from a previous relationship. Of course, predictably, he did not pay support for my girls, either. Be prepared to fully support your child. I'm betting he won't.

Edited July 2, 2016 by MJJean

[BettyDraper]

You weren't wrong for leaving him. There's no reason to stay with someone who is irresponsible and lazy.

However, becoming pregnant with a man who doesn't look after his existing children was a foolish choice.

There's nothing you can do about that now except move on and try to make the best life you can for your son.

[bathtub-row]

He sounds like an entitled brat. You did the right thing.

[hestheone66]

You are doing the right thing. I wish I had done the same with my toxic ex who milked me for 12 years. I've never been happier

[NTV]

I don't know if you necessarily are 'doing the right thing' so much as just 'no longer doing the wrong thing'.

I would be very careful around him from here on out. He's gone through the system before and the child support stuff is a game he knows now. Not saying don't file for it, but rather saying that if I were you my focus would be on getting somewhere that you could support your child on your own if you had too. Because based on your description of this guy, there's a 90% chance you will have to. That might mean moving back in with family for a while.

I recommend you definitely put the buying a house thing on hold. It sounds like you've got the white picket fence dream, but the man you have now won't fit the mold needed to dream that dream with you.

 

 

Good luck!

[Satu]

You did the right thing.

 

If having a baby on the way isn't enough to motivate him, nothing ever will.

 

Think only of yourself and your baby.

 

 

Take care.

[TrustedthenBusted]

Guy is a loser. Call his father, and tell him he failed. Then move on with your life. Unfortunately, this anchor will now be attached to you forever.