Turbulent Past

[dupare]

Hello everyone

 

I am 50. I was raised as a christian and I was married when I was 16 in the early 80'S.

 

At the time when we got married my DH was an Innocent man who was also good christian.

 

As a newly wed it was natural for us to make love like bunnies almost all the time , which got me addicted to sex.

 

After our son was born, I hoped that my craving for sex would subdue but the hormones backfired.

 

As time went by it became difficult for my DH to match my appetite for sex. There were many times when I used to drain him out.

 

Soon one day I came to know that I was not able to conceive any more children. My husband and I were unhappy.

 

His Anxiety Disorder was getting stronger due many factors which included work,his parents etc.

 

I used sex as a mechanism to calm him down and sooth him . This was a win- win situation for both of us. Sex helped him relax and sleep like a baby whereas it helped me remain sane.

 

I have never cheated on my husband but have had thoughts and fantasies.

 

 

I have also executed harmless fantasies like parading naked in a motel lobby (It was the mid 80's)

 

I renounced my sex life at the age of 38 to work for the betterment of the poor and the needy.

 

I believe every one has a past that they are not proud of. But as a human everyone has a chance in life to rectify his/her mistakes and pray for strength to move on life.

Edited July 10, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Poutrew]

So, if I'm understanding you correctly, you are a sex addict who gave up sex 12 years ago? So how did you do it? Go cold turkey? And what about your hubs? Doesn't he want it anymore? Anyway, congratulations on taking back control of your life...

[Nowty V]

I believe every one has a past that they are not proud of. But as a human everyone has a chance in life to rectify his/her mistakes and pray for strength to move on life.

 

 

Hear Hear

 

I too was forged in adversity, it doesn't make me a bad/wrong/unfulfilled person

 

I don't pray for anything in particular, I just say the standard prayer, once a day when I wake up, private and to myself, I tell no one - but whoops I've ruined that now

 

I have never cheated on my husband but have had thoughts and fantasies.

 

This is so normal and one shouldn't be troubled by where the mind takes one. Anyone who has trouble with this should read Simone de Beauvoir's introduction to The 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis de Sade [novel] she says it all wonderfully.

 

The book itself has some thing in the early stages but IMO becomes quite puerile quite quickly.

Edited July 6, 2016 by Nowty V
completeness

[anika99]

First of all having lots of healthy sex with ones spouse doesn't cause sex addiction. Sex addiction is much more complicated than that so I doubt you were ever a sex addict.

 

 

Secondly why on earth did you have to renounce sex to help the needy and the poor? Can't you have sex and still help society? Are you still married? One partner cutting the other partner totally off sex is very unhealthy for the marriage and it's selfish.

[Nowty V]

One partner cutting the other partner totally off sex is very unhealthy for the marriage

 

Can you ever say never? If the planets align and the ball's in play, I'm sure a game would commence

[dupare]

First of all having lots of healthy sex with ones spouse doesn't cause sex addiction. Sex addiction is much more complicated than that so I doubt you were ever a sex addict.

 

 

Secondly why on earth did you have to renounce sex to help the needy and the poor? Can't you have sex and still help society? Are you still married? One partner cutting the other partner totally off sex is very unhealthy for the marriage and it's selfish.

What I meant was I renounced Sex to concentrate on work