Look at photos of MM with his W on Twitter, see the reality

[so what now]

I am not on Twitter but exMM`s profile is public and although I have been good and never checked it.. today I did.. and there they are all smiles in their real world, in their marriage while I am at home sobbing my f**king heart out over that piece of using sh*t!!

and you know? what I am glad I did it.. hurts like hell to know that truth!! to see it in glorious technicolour, but there it, is no lies.. no bullsh*t, REALITY..

 

The amount of HATE I feel now is scary!

WTF have I been doing do myself for 8+ years?.. I FEEL SICK!!

 

But the truth is better than all the lie i have been telling myself! :`(

 

I am beyond pain right now. :`(

 

God help me!

[BuddyX]

Never check "their" social media. There's a reason Facebook is called Fakebook. No one posts selfies of when they get up in the morning. Or when their yelling at their kids. Or better yet, when their cheating.

 

Block them now.

[Josmatjes]

Use your anger to build a better life. Never speak to him ever again or have anything to do with him. Learn from it. It's hard and it hurts and it's so consuming you feel you don't want to get out of bed. But then he would win. Don't let him win! He is a phony and a liar to everyone not just you!

[Maddieandtae]

Regardless if the photos reflect the married mans true self, one truth in the photo is that he has a wife and a life outside of his time with you. Sure photos don't show the behind scenes of that day, does it really matter though? You know what he is participating in as you know what you are participating in. You can stop it though and make your own photo memories with the knowledge that you are not hurting an unsuspecting third party. Photos are just photos no matter who yelled at who that day, it's the actions that follow that photo that make a difference

Edited July 3, 2016 by Maddieandtae

[Poppy47]

I am not on Twitter but exMM`s profile is public and although I have been good and never checked it.. today I did.. and there they are all smiles in their real world, in their marriage while I am at home sobbing my f**king heart out over that piece of using sh*t!!

and you know? what I am glad I did it.. hurts like hell to know that truth!! to see it in glorious technicolour, but there it, is no lies.. no bullsh*t, REALITY..

 

The amount of HATE I feel now is scary!

WTF have I been doing do myself for 8+ years?.. I FEEL SICK!!

 

But the truth is better than all the lie i have been telling myself! :`(

 

I am beyond pain right now. :`(

 

God help me!

 

Feels awful doesn't it? That's reality knocking on your door. YOu aren't in their life and neither you should be.

Leave it alone or you will make yourself worse.

Poppy.

[13Hearts]

Sorry you're hurting but I'm glad you looked and glad you are angry and even glad you feel hatred toward him. It will propel you forward.

[so what now]

Regardless if the photos reflect the married mans true self, one truth in the photo is that he has a wife and a life outside of his time with you. Sure photos don't show the behind scenes of that day, does it really matter though? You know what he is participating in as you know what you are participating in. You can stop it though and make your own photo memories with the knowledge that you are not hurting an unsuspecting third party. Photos are just photos no matter who yelled at who that day, it's the actions that follow that photo that make a difference

 

Yes you are right, I have calmed down a bit now but I am glad I did it, saw it.. makes his real life.. well real, not what I make up in my head.

[Lady2163]

I'm sorry you're unhappy. I know it has to hurt. It may seem like he's getting to have the perfect life, while you are left utterly alone.

 

I believe what goes around, comes around. I don't know if you had a Dday - or after eight years he had several. His life is built on carefully crafted lies that could come tumbling down at a moments notice. These things rarely stay secret.

 

I had a long term married friend. I eventually ended it because I could no longer stand the thought of him losing everything. I've always denied that I loved him - and I don't think I did love him romantically. Maybe a strong friendship love. We still talk and text infrequently and I do "creep" his Facebook and Twitter.

 

Because there wasn't any future faking, because I'm the one who ended it, I think I'm in the rare post is where I WANT to see him happy. I always hope for the slight kernel of truth to the happy family pictures and such.

 

Good luck to you. I hope you find some peace and happiness.

[whichwayisup]

I am not on Twitter but exMM`s profile is public and although I have been good and never checked it.. today I did.. and there they are all smiles in their real world, in their marriage while I am at home sobbing my f**king heart out over that piece of using sh*t!!

and you know? what I am glad I did it.. hurts like hell to know that truth!! to see it in glorious technicolour, but there it, is no lies.. no bullsh*t, REALITY..

 

The amount of HATE I feel now is scary!

WTF have I been doing do myself for 8+ years?.. I FEEL SICK!!

 

But the truth is better than all the lie i have been telling myself! :`(

 

I am beyond pain right now. :`(

 

God help me!

 

This is good, let the pain out, the anger out. Just know that once you fully grieve, you can let go and be at peace. Soon you will realize he's not worth your tears.

[DKT3]

The sad lining Always in these situations are the unfaithful wife loses everything and the unfaithful husband loses almost nothing. It's sad because it takes losing everything to truly see what worthless snakes these guys are, yet time after time you hear he is a good guy, I know he loves me.

[Moxie Lady]

The sad lining Always in these situations are the unfaithful wife loses everything and the unfaithful husband loses almost nothing. It's sad because it takes losing everything to truly see what worthless snakes these guys are, yet time after time you hear he is a good guy, I know he loves me.

 

Yes these men are worthless slime, those who are married or committed and have affairs.

[burnt]

Eight years.

 

For eight years you have suffered, you have wasted on a dead-end road, being in love but not having it returned. Those eight years of your life you are now forced to look back at with regrets and pain. Futile stolen time of your life.

 

For the same eight years, your MM has been building and bonding with his wife and kids and talking about the next eight years, building dreams for when the kids grow up, when the grandkids are born, where they will spend their sunset retirement years, counting one more year into celebrating their 30th, 40th, 50th anniversary and growing old with the kids and the grandkids in a fairy tale story.

*All the while* using and keeping you as his filthy secret to revive himself from his boredom and boost his selfish ego. You refreshed him with new energy and all that energy he harvested into his REAL family--not you.

 

Not a single drop of the love, affection, emotion, intimacy you gave to him will be returned back to you.

 

YES, that is the reality.

 

While some posters always suggest, stay off the social media, I'm glad that you checked the MM's social media. The pain you are feeling is a necessary pain for you to go through before you can truly let go.

 

Don't set up any expectations on yourself about how quickly you should heal. You don't have a choice but to let the phase of suffering pass through you now. Even if you start to feel ok, do keep in mind, the pain will come and go for a while before you finally come to a stable phase.

 

Don't look for a short-cut route to skip this pain. But do take comfort in the fact that you are not the only one who has woken up to this painful reality and has had to suffer and try to mend a broken heart ALONE.

[sandylee1]

Lesson learnt.

 

No more MM in your life.

 

Accept that you put yourself in the affair and you now know better with age and wisdom.

[WisdomOverEmotion]

Never check "their" social media. There's a reason Facebook is called Fakebook. No one posts selfies of when they get up in the morning. Or when their yelling at their kids. Or better yet, when their cheating.

 

 

This. This is reality. Not these fake smiles and happy family bull like everything is just ****ing dandy.

 

If you was with this man, this would be your fake love on social media too with another women looking over it, in the pain you are in. Because let's face it, if he wasn't cheating with you, it would probably be someone else.

 

8 years is a very long time. Please don't waste anymore of your life on this man. Use the anger, the pain and suffering you've endured over all these years, to realise why this is not worth it anymore.

 

If you don't believe in yourself that you deserve happiness, you never will.

 

Love yourself with all the love you gave him.

[elaine567]

Yes you are right, I have calmed down a bit now but I am glad I did it, saw it.. makes his real life.. well real, not what I make up in my head.

 

Save one of those "lovely" photos and put it in a special folder, and if you ever find yourself faltering and willing to give him another chance, then go back and look at reality.

[Cherryz]

Accept the facts.

 

I read a bit of your previous post, and you are married and you knew he was married too.

But still you kept it going and took action on your attraction to him.

Instead of ignore it and avoid him and work against it from day one.

 

Now you suprised he is happy with his wife? What is there to be surprised about?

Its not like you are a innocent poor thing that got blind sided that he was married or that you are married. You knew this stuff!

 

Since you are a adult you should take responsibility for your own action and mistakes.

Be mad at yourself! For choosing to mess with who ever that wasnt your husband. The guy you cheated with is doing nothing wrong by being happy with his wife on pictures.

Beside its their business what they do.

 

You should worry about your husband and making things rigth with him and work on the issues why you went out cheating and to reconcile with your husband.

And learn from this. Never start affairs. Even if you were single. It never ends well and

you will always get hurt.

 

Like someone said, use your anger to work on yourself and your marriage and to get better then yesterday in putting boundaries and walk away from situations that can bring you to cheat.goodluck.

[13Hearts]

It's a very mature kind of love, from an emotionally evolved person, that can truly wish for the best for someone who has harmed, deceived, and betrayed you.

 

I was in that place once, some years ago. And looking back on it, I wonder if it was the level of realization of the deception over the course of the relationship that allowed me to forgive so easily. IDK.

 

I'm sorry you're unhappy. I know it has to hurt. It may seem like he's getting to have the perfect life, while you are left utterly alone.

 

I believe what goes around, comes around. I don't know if you had a Dday - or after eight years he had several. His life is built on carefully crafted lies that could come tumbling down at a moments notice. These things rarely stay secret.

 

I had a long term married friend. I eventually ended it because I could no longer stand the thought of him losing everything. I've always denied that I loved him - and I don't think I did love him romantically. Maybe a strong friendship love. We still talk and text infrequently and I do "creep" his Facebook and Twitter.

 

Because there wasn't any future faking, because I'm the one who ended it, I think I'm in the rare post is where I WANT to see him happy. I always hope for the slight kernel of truth to the happy family pictures and such.

 

Good luck to you. I hope you find some peace and happiness.

[Hazyhead]

For as long as you are looking at his accounts, you won't heal. I agree that you have to let yourself grieve/feel pain in order to move past it, but I don't think you need to pick the scab more to feel it because it hurts anyway. Don't regress by torturing yourself further.

 

I've read your other thread and I think there's a real chance of a new start for you. Speak to your husband, but if you haven't felt any spark with him for a long time, the chances of anything returning after all this time together is very slim. For the sake of you both, perhaps splitting up as amicably as possible is the best idea.

 

I think it's great that you have gone back to university! That's such a positive change. It will keep you busy and expand your horizons. Now, what change can you make personally?

[LivingWaterPlease]

so what now, you dodged a bullet by not ending up with this person who is very confused about who he is, who his wife is, how to have an intimate relationship and life in general.

 

Unless he has figured out what's wrong with him that he cheated on his wife, and has worked on himself to heal it, he doesn't have a real life.

 

This is not the type of man who makes a good partner to his wife or anyone else. So really, you saw photos of an actor with persons he fakes a life with. Don't think I'd want to be be married to such a person. Pity his wife.

 

Ask yourself why you're jealous of the situation? Maybe you're not, and good for you if not. Admit it to yourself if you are (really look at the reasons behind your desire for a faker) jealous and this may be one of your first steps to healing.

 

Honestly, there are a ton of superficial people running around who are faking life instead of living it. Which one do you want to be and to share your life with, one who lives life or one who fakes it?

[Lobe]

So really, you saw photos of an actor with persons he fakes a life with.

 

Happily married men do have affairs, so assuming that every picture on social media is him "faking" is extraordinarily naive.

[DKT3]

Happily married men do have affairs, so assuming that every picture on social media is him "faking" is extraordinarily naive.

 

Absolutely correct. I know it's hard for women to understand but men can and most often do NOT look for what's missing, it more likely simply extra. But so can women, the emotional departure from the marriage happens once she has become interested in another man....if I loved my husband then I couldn't do this...

Edited July 4, 2016 by DKT3

[imperfectangel]

I saw a pic of my MM (ex MM) with his family and that was the end for me. That's what made it real for me. I didn't want to have any part in hurting his children

[LivingWaterPlease]

Happily married men do have affairs, so assuming that every picture on social media is him "faking" is extraordinarily naive.

 

 

No, I know it's convenient for some to think they do, but they don't.

 

The person who cheats on a partner is not happy in his/her life, independent of a marriage.There is a character flaw there and to overlook this fact is rug sweeping, imo.

 

The person who is involved in a marriage with such a person is involved with a superficial image of such a person. That person (the one being cheated on) may feel happy at times, but they are involved in a lie. That's not the definition of happiness.

 

It is convenient and to soothe oneself with warm fuzzies that a happy marriage and an affair can co exist but we'll just have to differ on this belief because I don't believe it's possible for a person to have an affair and a happy marriage at the same time.

 

A marriage is an intimate union between two people. When invaded by a third person it becomes a lie, not a marriage.

Edited July 4, 2016 by LivingWaterPlease

[Lady Hamilton]

I guess I'm in the minority...

 

Whenever I looked at my MM wife's social media, I had two impressions...

 

"God, he looks miserable."

"Ok, his wife is really disconnected from anything that could pass as reality."

[DKT3]

No, I know it's convenient for some to think they do, but they don't.

 

The person who cheats on a partner is not happy in his/her life, independent of a marriage.There is a character flaw there and to overlook this fact is rug sweeping, imo.

 

The person who is involved in a marriage with such a person is involved with a superficial image of such a person. That person (the one being cheated on) may feel happy at times, but they are involved in a lie. That's not the definition of happiness.

 

It is convenient and to soothe oneself with warm fuzzies that a happy marriage and an affair can co exist but we'll just have to differ on this belief because I don't believe it's possible for a person to have an affair and a happy marriage at the same time.

I have (had) a friend who did just that. His marriage was great, his wife was awesome yet he cheated the entire 13 years they were married. His flaw was thinking it was ok as long as she never knew about it and being so confident she wouldn't find out. Well she did.

 

No relationship can have it all, being arrogant and entitled one can easily justify it by blaming the marriage which in turn is really blaming the spouse. It's more common among women because they are normally the primary caregiver of the marriage which makes it hard to grasp they are harming an otherwise good marriage. It's purely blameshifting .