Cannot Love Again! :\

[Ryan_XD]

Ever since me and my ex-girlfriend (who was also my first "serious" girlfriend) split up last year after being together for over 4 years, I am struggling to find someone else.

 

I have been involved with 4 other women since, all really different. I was attracted to them all, some developed into a sexual relationship and some did not.

 

However, I've had to cut them all off because my feelings towards them are not developing into anything serious, some have lasted a few weeks and others a few months and nothing ever develops on my side. A recent lady I have been seeing for about 4 months - ticks every box, I'm insanely attracted to her and love spending time with her but after 4 months I'm not 'in love' with her.

 

I just cannot seem to fall in love with anyone ever since the break-up last year.

 

Has anyone else had this issue? I'm struggling to fall for someone again, how long will this last? Am I trying to fast/hard to fall for someone? Am I comparing the girls to my ex maybe by expecting those feelings?

 

I'm so frustrated, because it seems to the girls that I have just used them and that's honestly not the case - My feelings just aren't developing or getting significantly stronger towards them despite the amount of time I spend with them.

 

Feeling really down, I just can't seem myself loving anyone again.

[Hamish57a]

You're not alone , I was married for 25 years and we split because I was an idiot. Trying to move forward was very difficult. I rushed into another relationship but I had nothing to give because I was a mess, sure the intimacy was good but not great.

 

 

I didn't last, I tried again right away and that was even worse. it took me 6 years to get over my divorce and find my self alone again. But now I'm afraid to try. But I know it's not a bad thing to be alone. It's good for me. I know that when I'm ready it'll be ok.

 

 

You need to take time for you, of course you will be attracted to women, you'll want sex. But if you're interested in a long term relationship then go slow, be honest with what you want and how you feel.

 

 

It takes time to get over a relationship, some times years.

[Bialy]

You're not alone. I'm actually jealous that it has been a year since you've broken up with your ex.

 

I broke with my ex (who I had been with for just around 7 years) recently.

 

 

I go through emotions of "WHEW, so glad it's officially over!" and then another part of me thinks, "What if I NEVER find anyone else who I fall in love with?" That last emotion freaks me out and keeps me up at night.

 

Some things take time - leave yourself open to possibilities. The good thing is that you made it a year and have been dating, no matter if it's been hit or miss.