Katemoretto Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 (edited) My boyfriend and I have been fighting and making up a lot lately. Throughout the month of June all we've been doing is arguing and making up. He's been traveling a lot with his job and it's causing us to argue about everything. He went to Las Vegas with his dance company around June 14 and we argued the entire time he was there. When he came back he was ignoring me like a child. Literally rolling his eyes when he seen me or when we were around eachother and purposely ignoring my existence. Whenever I tried talking with him he said "I don't want to talk to you because you've been acting so stupid and childish" Finally we made up and he told me how much he missed me. He called me his little "meany" which I know he said that because I tend to have a sharp tongue when we do argue. That let me know that some things I said really stung. Last week we got into a huge argument. Like really bad. I overreacted because he was going to Orlando and I didn't want him to. When he got there we were arguing so much through text message and I told him that he's a c*** and don't ever talk to me again. He replied "ur a dumbass" and I told him not to call names and he said "no I am so sick of ur dumbass attitude" I tried apologizing to him for calling him a c*** but he only said "I'll talk to you later". I messaged him maybe the next day. I sent him a message saying that we both were wrong and that we both are stubborn. I told him that if he didn't respond I'd consider us broken up. I immediately regretted that because I felt it was a controlling way to approach him. I texted him and asked him to stop being mad at me and he ignored it. He came home yesterday and my mom invited him over for dinner. He ignored me the ENTIRE time we were there like he didn't say a word to me at all. When he walked through the door we both looked in shock to see eachother but that's it. As the night went on he would come around where I was but still not say anything. At one point when we were leaving I was in front of him walking. I didn't even noticed he was behind me until he started walking so fast that he passed me. It seemed like he was doing this on purpose. I can't take him ignoring me. I love him so much. We've been together for 2 1/2 years. The craziest things are going through my head. Like maybe he knocked someone up while he was away that's why he's being so distant like literally THE DUMBEST things. Then I think why would he ignore me just because he knocked someone up. I'm going crazy I don't know what to even say to him. My mom said that I should give him a sincere apology for calling him a c*** and that just because he didn't seem mad after the fact doesn't mean that he isn't. But if he's mad about that still why not tell me? Why ignore me like a child when he knows I hate it when he does that. This is so frustrating. I spoke to my brother about it and he said that he would not be ignoring me UNLESS I hurt him and that even if a guy cheated or even knocked someone up they probably wouldn't react this way by ignoring. I do tend to say mean things and expect sorry to fix them. I know that's wrong and I'm working on it. If he called me a c*** then I'd be so hurt. All the things that I've done are childish even going as far as to think he knocked someone else up. I want to work it out so bad but how can I if I don't know where his head is. Edited July 4, 2016 by Katemoretto Spelling 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 I would stay apart for a good, long while. At the moment, this relationship isn't working. What are you always fighting about? You two both need to work on your communication skills and to grow up, to be honest. You can't call him names and then freak out when he does the same. Like you said, you also can't expect "sorry" to fix it. After so many times, there's too much resentment for "sorry." I've been with a man who resorted to name-calling when he was mad, and I eventually realized I'd just lost attraction to him because of it. It's a nasty characteristic and utter turn-off. You also can't just tell someone not to be mad at you and expect them to follow your instructions. It doesn't work that way. Likewise, he can't think that ignoring you is the way forward either. It does nothing but add to the problems. This has become toxic and it sounds like you two don't even like each other all that much anymore. Perhaps he really has had enough. Do you not trust him? I can't fathom why you immediately made the leap that he had sex with someone else and got her pregnant. Have there been problems with infidelity before? It might not be fiaxble at this point. All you can do is give things a couple days to cool off and call him (do not text) and ask to meet and talk. Ask him if he is interested in continuing the relationship - and really listen to his response. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Katemoretto Posted July 4, 2016 Author Share Posted July 4, 2016 To me it's just confusing I mean I'm sitting here so heartbroken because we aren't talking. I'm willing to work it out. We haven't had problems of infidelity but I don't see why he'd just ignore me the way he is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 To me it's just confusing I mean I'm sitting here so heartbroken because we aren't talking. I'm willing to work it out. We haven't had problems of infidelity but I don't see why he'd just ignore me the way he is. At some point people get tired of the drama. Too much fighting, calling names, shouting and it all gets very old. I was exhausted just reading your thread. Maybe he's at that point and is just fed up. You should be too. Or maybe he likes knowing that you're squirming. Either way, give him some time and curb your tendency to be so reactive and insecure -- in a few days if he doesn't respond, act like a grown up, reach out and ask to communicate about the future of this relationship. If he chooses not to, then it would be time to move on. Seems like you both have a lot of growing up to do. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted July 4, 2016 Share Posted July 4, 2016 At some point people get tired of the drama. Too much fighting, calling names, shouting and it all gets very old. I was exhausted just reading your thread. Maybe he's at that point and is just fed up. You should be too. Or maybe he likes knowing that you're squirming. Either way, give him some time and curb your tendency to be so reactive and insecure -- in a few days if he doesn't respond, act like a grown up, reach out and ask to communicate about the future of this relationship. If he chooses not to, then it would be time to move on. Seems like you both have a lot of growing up to do. ^THIS^ (Ten characters.) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 I do tend to say mean things and expect sorry to fix them. Grow up. He probably is sick of your immaturity. If I was him I'd have left you long ago. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 5, 2016 Share Posted July 5, 2016 Just my opinion...you don't know much about relationships. You seem to think that being vindictive is the way to communicate with your BF....it's unhealthy and toxic. You act like a child, he's gonna treat you like one until you figure it out. Stop this behavior, let the guy have his space, stop nagging him to death about him going out of town and you won't have any more issues. If you can't handle a BF that wants or needs to travel for his job then you need to find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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